The Vacation from Purgatory

If you don’t have any formal religious education, you may not have a clue what purgatory is. In fact, it wasn’t ever a concept I was taught. But here’s the gist of it: it’s somewhere between heaven and hell. And that pretty much sums up my vacation.

My blog took an unintentional break last week as I traveled to New York for a somewhat annual trip to visit my husband’s family. I knew going into the trip that I would only have access to dial-up internet. Which means no internet. Still, I was hoping to pilfer a little wifi from one of the unsuspecting neighbors.

If only the lack of internet was my biggest problem…

Here is how my vacation went down.

• Wednesday: Last minute vacation shopping (yeah!); call from my son’s sitter saying he threw up (boo!)

• Thursday: Son stays home, not feeling well. Husband stays home, not feeling well. Vacation prep continues. Son throws up Thursday night. All over.

• Friday: Husband returns to work. Friday departure plans scrapped. Son throws up again. Saturday departure plans scrapped.

• Saturday: No one threw up! Vacation prep continues. Scramble to get necessary prescription before trip around 6:15pm. Find out that pharmacy closes at 6pm and doesn’t re-open until 11am. Sunday morning departure plans scrapped.

• Sunday: Wait until 11am to get prescription. Mince words with pharmacy tech about the ridiculous hours. (To be fair, she wasn’t very nice to begin with). Arrive in Baltimore for a quick stopover with my family. Back on the road to New York arriving at 1am. Happy to get out of the car. Sons throws up all over the bathroom. Clean up and in bed by 2am. Husband starts coughing and continues all night long.

• Monday: Son wakes at 6:30am. Get out of bed, manage to eat a bowl of cereal, and fall back asleep. Chills and stomachache ensues. Throw up. Eat saltine crackers and ginger ale. Throw up again. Lay on couch with my son watching Dancing With The Stars. That’s how sick I was. Son develops a cough. Husband continues coughing all night long.

• Tuesday: Drag myself out of bed, clean myself up, take husband and son to nearest Urgent Care. Both get antibiotics. Spend the rest of the day getting prescriptions filled and buying toys for being a good boy at the doctor. Wait in the car with sick child. A lot. Watch conclusion of Dancing With The Stars. Get into bed and son throws up everywhere. Three room clean up begins.

• Wednesday: Cool New York air turns into record high temperatures in a house with no air conditioning. Forced to leave and go shopping at Woodbury Commons, the largest outlet mall on the East Coast. Shopping lifts my spirits but only briefly as son continues to cough up a lung. Feeling like the world is staring at me thinking how insensitive I am to be shopping with such a sick child. Put a window air conditioner into my mother-in-law’s bedroom window. Dragged mattress on to her floor and slept for an hour. Dramatically awakened to a smell I’ve never smelled. Did I mention we brought the dog? Using the light of my iPhone, discover a pile of dog diarrhea about 12 inches from my face on the floor beside the mattress. Resembles chocolate pudding. Clean up again and fall asleep in shame. Glad Wednesday is over.

• Thursday: Son’s coughing is better. Husband’s cough is worse. Exchange items back at Woodbury Commons. Wait in car again for a stop at Home Depot. Everyone else waits in the car while I go into Walmart. My only moment of solitude. Bought a Little Green Machine. Takeout Chinese is ordered. Life gets a touch better.

• Friday: Spend the morning doing clean-up and repair around the house. Clean carpets. Shower and put on a dress. Seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Drive up to visit the Walkway over the Hudson on a beautiful day. Head to sister-in-law’s house for steak, salmon, and birthday cake for mom-in-law. Drink very good Prosecco and gorge on Brie. Play lacrosse and Mario Kart with the two older kids. Play on the seesaw and with bubbles with the two younger kids (and my own). My heart sings as my son LOVES his cousins on their first official meeting.

• Saturday: Up and out to Connecticut to see brother-in-law and his four kids. Son goes swimming in their pool and latches on to his 5 year old cousin. I cuddle with their 10 month old baby girl. Eat steaks from the grill out on the deck surrounded by cool Moroccan style candles with a cool breeze blowing. Finish the meal with birthday cake for my husband. Head back to New York and collapse in bed.

• Sunday: Load up the car and head to Baltimore. No traffic to speak of in New Jersey (for once). Meet and greet with my family again and head to a Chinese buffet to celebrate little brother’s birthday. Back on the road at 8:30pm and pull into our driveway at 1:30am.

Yeah, I’m exhausted too. But we made it through. My husband still has a serious cough but other than that, I haven’t had to clean up anything other than a messy kitchen.

Here is what I learned on my vacation, in no particular order.

I don’t have much patience for sickness beyond 7 days (in myself or anyone else). I don’t need to lay in bed for 2 days after a stomach virus, although it would be nice. I can watch Toy Story 2 at least 5 times in a row. I’m fine without internet as long as I have my iPhone. I love New York bakeries. There is no healthy food at a service plaza. I miss my family (my husband’s and mine). And finally, love transcends all vomit and diarrhea.