10 Reasons I’m Glad I Didn’t Go to Blissdom

For you non-blogger types out there or those of you not up on the conference circuit, there is currently a big conference going on in Nashville, Tennessee called Blissdom. It’s founded and organized by Alli Worthington and Barbara Jones. And in case you don’t completely get my writing style, this is a tongue-in-cheek piece. But you knew that already.

Blissdom Conference ~ Nashville ~ January 26-28, 2010

NOT

1. As you know from my previous posts, I can’t stand the celebrity types. I don’t read celebrity gossip magazines. I don’t flaunt any celebrity encounters I’ve ever had. And apparently, Michele Branch is there and Jack White flew into town. Puh-lease. With my luck, I’d run into them and have to hang out at the bar and pretend to be friends and I just don’t need that hassle.

Who needs another fabulous singer-songwriter?

2. Everyone knows that when you are attending a conference with hundreds or thousands of your fellow bloggers, you have to look good. So as for the pressure? No thanks. Because then I would have had to go shopping and buy really cool new shoes and dressed and tops and maybe even a purse. And I just don’t like to shop for myself. Or spend money on myself. Ever.

3. I couldn’t bear to be away from my son. He just turned 4 on Monday and since then, I’ve experienced interrupted sleep, 3 nights of vomit, and 48 hours of nonstop green boogery stuff. I wouldn’t want to miss all that. I am his mommy after all.

4. The swag bags are sure to be super lame. Just because the sponsors include Lands End, Nestle Toll House, Con Agra Foods, Kellogg’s, Hallmark, Johnson & Johnson, Jockey, and plenty of others, I can’t imagine the events or swag would  be worthwhile at all. Not. At. All.

5. Have you ever met Alli Worthington? I haven’t either. I mean, we were in the same room at Type-A Mom. I think I saw her at BlogHer. But she definitely follows me on Twitter. And we definitely share photos on Instagram. And here’s what I can surmise. She’s absolutely no fun at all. She’s a total drag. Way too serious for my taste. Even though she has a silly grin on her face in every single picture.

6. The whole conference is at the Opryland Hotel. I mean, it’s just so cliche. And they just completed a total restoration  and renovation of the hotel. I’m sure it’s lost all its charm. It would probably be just another luxurious hotel in the heartland of America. Who wants that? They probably even offer spa services. Ugh.

Opryland Hotel at night

7. I would have to come out of my extroverted introvert shell. I love people once I get to know them. And once again, I’d have to pretend to be all outgoing and meet some of my favorite online buddies like @MollyinMinn, @CarissaRogers, @AngEngland. And then I’d have to reunite with fellow bloggers like @EvolvingMommy, @AmyMcHodges, @Onemomsworld, @RealLifeSarah, and @ShellThings. That would just be exhausting for me.

8. It’s in Nashville, Tennessee. I already live in the South. I have found, on occasion, that my mouth tries to form the word “y’all.” If I went to Nashville, I’m quite sure that “y’all” might become part of my permanent vocabulary and I just don’t need that.

Blissdom Conference ~ Nashville ~ January 26-28, 2010

See what I mean?

9. Have you seen the sessions? I doubt I would have gotten anything out of them. I mean, who needs to know more about photography, video, writing, monetization, SEO, branding & PR? See what I mean? There’s nothing there for me to learn. Because I know all that stuff. Probably.

10. And the final reason I’m glad I didn’t go to Blissdom? I wouldn’t have had anything to write about for today’s post.

Why are you glad you didn’t go? And are you going to make the same choice next year?

  • http://twitter.com/MyBottlesUp nic

    heh. i love this, but i also wish you had vlogged it… cuz it’s that funneh.

    • Anonymous

      I talk a lot. So my nice little post would have turned into a 10 minute soliloquy. But I’ll consider an accompanying video next time. For you.

  • http://twitter.com/jennyonthespot jennyonthespot

    Indeed, indeed ya’ll. I am in total hell right now. Totally taking the hit for you. I’m a giver like that. You can thank me next year.

    • Anonymous

      Awesome. The world is a better place because bloggers like you help out bloggers like me. Thanks for being a giver. I guess that makes me the taker.

  • Anonymous

    LOL Love it!

  • http://twitter.com/xtremeparnthood Sunday Stilwell

    Oh come on…we all know the reason you didn’t go is because The Grasshoppa and I aren’t there! ;-D

    • Anonymous

      OF COURSE we all know that. But if I was being completely honest, I would have had to call the post “1 reason I’m glad I didn’t go to Blissdom” and it would have been a very, very short post.

  • http://runningscared.ca/UrbanMomtographer/ LindsayDianne

    Haha, I just haven’t decided WHICH conference I want to attend. You all intimidate me as it is… I guess I should just hop in with both feet here. Eventually.
    Your post made me giggle.
    I’m not bitter either.

    • Anonymous

      Here are my top tips for a good conference experience: go with someone you know, act like you’re a big deal even if you’re not, laugh louder than anyone else, wear shoes that are to die for, and drink a lot. Then you’ll be just fine.

      • http://runningscared.ca/UrbanMomtographer/ LindsayDianne

        I have tonnes of super shoes, and I would attend with a friend, for sure….
        However, I don’t drink.
        GOOD LORD.
        hahaha, Thanks for the tips!

        • http://runningscared.ca/UrbanMomtographer/ LindsayDianne

          (of course I’m a big deal)

  • Anonymous

    This is the awesome.

    Although, I do wish I was there.. maybe next year..

    • Anonymous

      (Pssst. I wish I was there too)

  • http://twitter.com/parresia Julie Wilson

    Ohmyheart!! This made me laugh!! working on my #blissathome right now, but it won’t be as funny as yours!

    • Anonymous

      Every day for me is #blissathome :)

  • Alexandra

    Yeah, it’s hard for me ,too, with all the tweets and virtual high 5′s going on.

    Any word on where it will be next year?’

    • Anonymous

      It was mainly the celebrity tweets that were killing me. Especially the ones with photos. I think the conference is always in Nashville. But not sure???

  • Kristin

    Yeah, sheesh. Who wants to stay at the Opryland Hotel? Not this blogger.
    But my passport’s ready for next time, in case.

    • Anonymous

      Exactly. I’d rather just stay at a Red Roof Inn or something so much less pretentious.

  • Lifewithoutpink

    There is always next year, right?

    • Anonymous

      There better be.

  • http://twitter.com/KatjaPresnal Katja Presnal

    You funny. Me likey. And I’m not there either, just enjoying snow days of NY.

    • Anonymous

      And see. When a superbigdealblogger like Katja Presnal doesn’t go, you know it’s totally chic to stay home. And yeah, you guys got DUMPED on!!

  • Mary@Everyday Baby Steps

    I’m glad I didn’t go because there’s no reason I would’ve wanted to eat all the amazing, made by someone else food they’re going to have there. I’d much rather cook chicken noodle casserole myself!

    • Anonymous

      Oh totally. We’ve been having hot dogs all week leftover from my son’s birthday party. That’s waaaaay better than any of that high-fat, high-calorie, incredibly rich and indulgent food I’m sure they’re eating.

  • http://www.betterinbulk.net/ Lolli

    You crack me up. I can tell that you definitely made the best decision to stay home this week. LOL

    • Anonymous

      You just can’t replace sick time with your children. These are memories we’re building here.

      • http://www.betterinbulk.net/ Lolli

        Memories. Yeah. Just like I’m building memories with my kids during snow week from hell by yelling “quiet!!” and not showering.

  • http://www.crazyadventuresinparenting.com/ LisaCrazyAdventuresinParenting

    Yeah, who needs it. {Whimpers to self}

  • Dpresnal

    Great Post! Very well done! And by the way, I’m from Texas, and I couldn’t live without “ya’ll.”It covers so much!!

  • http://twitter.com/thedgoddess The Domestic Goddess

    Whoa. Glad I didn’t go either. it’s not like I have FAMILY IN NASHVILLE and totally need a vacay from my kids. And husband. And dogs. Or anything. I mean, sheesh! Although I totally wouldn’t get new clothes. I’d wear my cargo pants and sneakers as always, because I’m awesome like that. Though I’d get some new logo tees to wear.

  • http://twitter.com/WheelchairMommy Priscilla Hedlin

    This is awesome!! You had me laughing with everything on the list.

    Hmmm… I’m glad I’m not there because then who would my 2 year old bop on the head behind the couch? I’d totally miss that episode of scooby. I mean I’ve ONLY watched it 30 times. I must see it again.

  • OHmommy

    Cute.

  • Erica

    Awww… bitter much?

    I want to go. Next year, maybe. Though I will have two kids in tow by then… not sure if I could leave… boo.

  • http://twitter.com/mommyneedsvaca Rachel Voorhees

    Hey, we can always go next year right? Plus, we have BlogHer to look forward to!

  • http://www.fromtracie.com From Tracie

    This *almost* made me feel better about not being at Blissdom right now. Almost.

    I think next year I need to get my act together and actually make it to one of these blog conferences.

  • Anonymous

    I don’t think I’ll ever go to a conference and will just site all the reasons you listed…cause eventually one or all will apply! ;-)

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_O3XKPBFNTR4UYD5377I676UBBM Carri

    I’ve been to Nashville and it sucks. It rains while it’s hot out and ruins my makeup. I don’t like that.

  • http://www.randomthoughtsofacitymouse.com/ Citymouse

    Well, at least you made me smile about not going! The whole mega-conference thing intimidates me but once I see what a wonderful time everyone has I am so jealous!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jenn-Bean/100001585793932 Jenn Bean

    Your reasons are much funnier than mine, which would be no nanny and no funds.

  • Meangirlgarage

    Yeah, cookies and Jack White totally suck. I’m with you.

  • http://www.thesnyder5.com/ Molly

    You know I wish you were there. That is all. End of story.

  • NicoleLeighShaw

    I know I’m very late to the party with my comment, but this is a fun post and I am totally with you about not being remotely interested in Blissdom because I really enjoy shoveling Indiana snow out of my driveway as part of my 2011 resolution to be more fit, see more of nature, and . . . crap. Can we cry now?

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