Some of you followed along last week as I devoted five whole days to every photographically mundane aspect of my life. What surprised me the most is people actually came and looked. And left comments!
There was a link up every day with all of the other participants and while I couldn’t even get to half of the 30 or so other bloggers (and commented on even less), I felt I got a pretty good glimpse into how others live.
What I didn’t expect, though, was how it would make me feel about my own life. I looked back at each day and felt I could sum it up in just a few words.
Monday: Library, Computer, Costco, Home, Wine
Tuesday: Tired, Preschool, Library, Whole Foods, TV, Voting, Computer
Wednesday: TV, Computer, Haircut, Dinner, Bath, Bed
Thursday: Preschool, Library, Computer, Massage, Pantry, Vet, McDonald’s, Wii, Books
Friday: Sick, TV, Bored, Pantry, Bath, Laundry, Plants, Wine
Sounds fascinating, huh? I actually felt disappointed in the way I spent my week.
But what I thought was really odd is the reactions that I got from other people:
How peaceful and serene it must be to have on child. How nice to get a haircut in the middle of the day. How long it’s been since they’ve had a massage. How busy my life seems to be.
Especially compared to my own thoughts about the week:
It was a boring week. It was dreary. I lacked motivation for a lot of things. My husband was out of town and I didn’t feel like I could pull it together. My son was sick on the one day I wanted to go out and do something fun.
I also felt like I failed at properly making meals (especially dinner). I felt like I didn’t spend enough quality time with my son. I felt like I spent too much time on the computer trying to think of the next thing I should do.
And I was worried that people really felt I lived on easy street. I definitely have a good life and I never take it for granted. I just feel guilty sometimes that I have the opportunities that I do.
I guess what I really got out of this project is how easy it is to compare yourself to someone else. The reality is we chose specific snapshots from the day. We didn’t show every moment of our day.
We didn’t show the moments when we were yelling at our child. Yelling because they did something annoying and yet we were probably reacting disproportionately because we had other frustrations going on.
We didn’t show the moments when we spent too much time in the bathroom because we just wanted a little personal space.
We didn’t show the moments when we felt sad and lonely because our husband was out of town.
We didn’t show the moments when we sat in feeling depressed and lethargic, probably due to hormones.
We didn’t show the moments when we sat in front of our laptops wondering if blogging is merely a hobby that we pretend is more than it is. If blogging is worth the time, energy, attention, and sacrifice. If our voices really matter. If our time is well spent.
I say “we” because I think perhaps others may feel this way. I may be wrong.
On my blog, I’ve always liked to keep things real and down to earth. I try to tell it like it is. I won’t show you that my dog had diarrhea on the floor but I may very well write about it. And I’ll show you what I look like when I wake up in the morning. I’ll show you my face without makeup. I’ll let you watch me make a fool of myself on video.
But is it really me? Yes and no.
I used to be a huge fan of Mad magazine as my brother can attest (I frequenty pilfered his Mad collection). One of my favorite sections was called “The Lighter Side of…” by Dave Berg. It was satirical in nature and always poked fun at a current topic. Perhaps my blog is really The Lighter Side of Fadra.
My mother called me this week and we talked about my blog a bit. We talked about how she perceived things were going with me based on my blog. I also got the complaint (as I’m sure some of you do) that she has to read my blog to find out what’s going on with me. (YES! My plan for more traffic is working!)
I reminded her that my blog is a snapshot of my life. It’s not the entirety. If I’m having a bad day, I can still write something with a twist of humor.
I guess our photos are kind of the same way. They are the highlights of our day. They are the pieces and parts that are memorable. My true takeaway, though, is that I want more of the memorable moments. I don’t want all my snapshots to be reminiscent of video games, TV, and computers.
I need to start living more and enjoying the moments more. Here’s to a more interesting week. Undocumented.