I wasn’t feeling angry when I wrote this post but I can see how it might come off that way. I think I was just feeling a little bit of the unfairness in life. It’s something we can’t do anything about but sometimes it’s worth stopping and acknowledging.
Today’s (Optional) Writing Prompt: Celebrities and drugs – do you judge harshly, have mercy, or fit somewhere in between?
Here we go…
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I’m sure you know where I’m going with this.
BREAKING NEWS! WHITNEY HOUSTON IS DEAD!
Here’s where I’m going to come off as cruel and heartless and uncaring, none of which are true.
I’m not, nor I ever was, a personal friend of Whitney Houston. For her close friends and family, I’m sure that her loss was the inevitable ending to her downward spiral. I’m sure it was the ending they weren’t hoping for but weren’t really shocked by.
However, I don’t feel sadness. I don’t feel sorrow, other than normal human compassion for the loss of a life. I think for me, this is especially awkward having lost Susan Niebur this week in the blogging community. I didn’t know Susan either but hers is a death I shed tears over. Not Whitney’s.
Whitney Houston was a drug abuser. It’s an epidemic – the abuse of drugs. And the terrible physical addiction wreaks havoc on your body and makes your craving for a drug like crack so insatiable that I don’t think you ever lose it, no matter how long you are sober.
What I see is that Whitney Houston lost her life because she didn’t care enough about it. I see that Susan Niebur lost her life and cared everything about it. It bothers me and it saddens me but not in the same way as many of you.
I wish her life could have been different. I wish she would have never made the choices that inevitably ended her life. But life is about choices. We choose what we put into our bodies. And when we made bad choices, horrible things like addiction take over. I wish she would have gotten better but my sorrow is with other people and other families tonight.
I too am not too shocked to hear about her death. I agree that it’s all about choices and being conscious about the types of decisions that we make for our good and for good of our families.
All that talent … wasted.
I mean, it is sad and all. She had incredible promise and I really liked her when I was young. But, I was shocked more than anything else. And then thought, what a shame, and that was that. So, I’m with you.
I’m with you, Fadra. Completely. And I don’t think you come off as cruel or uncaring. It’s the truth.
I was a little stunned when I heard about her death this morning. It’s hard – really damn hard – to love a person with an addiction, because they seem so self-destructive. Given the chance, they will also destroy everything around them, so loving someone with an addiction requires ironclad boundaries. We’re not being unloving when we set those boundaries; we have to protect life from death.
It’s a tragic choice whenever someone chooses to abuse an addictive drug. As someone with a mental health background, though, I’m optimistic about the possibilities of recover. It would be a wonderful legacy if Houston’s sad end inspired someone – anyone – to choose recovery.
Erin – Thanks for sharing your perspective. As I was writing my post, I was well aware of the fact that I have never suffered from addiction so I don’t think I will ever fully understand. And you’re right. There is always hope in inspiration.
You’re so right. I’m sad that she made that first choice. What a tragic decision. It always saddens me when I see wasted talent and potential – and she had so much.
It’s not cruel and uncaring. It’s about choices first and then disease second. And the only way to stay clean is with good support, which sadly, most celebrities don’t seem to have. I’m sad. Not for this one situation, but sad for all the situations, celebrity and otherwise, where there is no support in recovery. 🙁 Great post and great prompt.
i too am saddened by the loss of another human being. but her path and the choices she made brought her here and made this inevitable. it’s a very sad situation, she was so talented. and what you say about people with addiction is so true, they don’t care about what they put in their bodies and the don’t respect life. It’s sad to see those who value it, cling to it and fight for it lose the battle too. Any loss of life is a sad one.
Very well articulated, Fadra! I feel exactly the same way. She had so many people who tried to help her and so many opportunities and while it is sad, your juxtaposition of her situation and Susan’s really highlights the wasted promise and opportunities. I read that her daughter may have drug problems too.
I think it’s sad. I think fame is generally not good for people.
I remember when I was younger playing the game Payday. We had to choose Love, Fame, or Fortune and it made me think at a young age how fame isn’t really what anyone needs.
I dunno where the harshness is Fadra, it’s all true 🙁 Your post about Susan made me cry :'(
There’s more where that came from, Ameena. I have so much swirling in my head these days but I’m trying not to scare too many people off 🙂
I am with you in many ways. I posted today about this (sort of) on my blog for SOC Sunday. Should we feel sorry for people who are clearly making bad choices?
I agree with you 100%. I grew up woth Whitney Huston songs being played in my house all the time. She was a rare gem in the music world. She had talent that wasn’t fabricated. I can’t tell you the amount of hours I spent watching The Preacher’s Wife because I loved her voice (and the movie of course).
But yes, it doesn’t come as a shock that she is dead. Much like when Amy Whinehouse died, it was sad, but not surprising.
You know, in a way, my post today is related to your prompt. Just that we are all human. We make mistakes, fall, break, and crack under pressure. Today it is easier for me to say than other days that I show mercy and forgiveness. I don’t always link up but when I do, Fadra, your Stream of Consciousness Sunday is a godsend. Thank you.
Your post was truthful. Whitney’s passing was not that much of a surprise, unfortunately.
I wasn’t shocked to hear of her death, either. I just hate that it happened right now, for selfish reasons. I’m going through a sense of loss of my own, and this media crap isn’t helping.
I’m so sorry to hear of your friend’s passing, though. She was obviously an inspiration to many, and had a wonderful and caring heart. A life shortened without choice is so much more heart breaking. My prayers are with her family and friends.
I’d have to agree with you. While I think the music community lost an incredible singer, it was a path of self destruction that she led herself down.
As I wrote in my SOC post, I was taken aback at how saddened I was by the news. Yes, she had problems with drugs, we’ve all seen her downward spiral, but still, it really kind of shook me. I was also sad to hear of Susan’s death. My condolences to her family as well.
I know there are a lot who feel like you do. But I was a fan. Not one of those crazy ,” nothing she can do is wrong” fans, but a long time fan who grew up with her, loved her voice, her music, her movies. She was the VOICE of my generation of little African American girls. No, didn’t know her personally. But I have compassion. Yes, she had demons. But who doesn’t? Hers just happened to play out in the media because of who she was. I don’t condone her past choices, but believe in second chances. It seemed like she was moving on with her life, trying to do better. Coming back. And THAT is what shocked most of us. Sometimes, when someone dies, it’s better to focus on the positive. The joy they gave. Not on the mistakes they made. We didn’t walk in her shoes, so we can’t really pass judgement can we? I would want the same. Wouldn’t you?
I totally get where you are coming from. I grew up in the 80s and her music was definitely a big influence. I think my sadness grows from the decisions she made long ago. I’m sure she never intentionally chose to throw her talent away. I’m sure, like most people, they never expect addiction to become the wild beast that it is.
I just always thought she was such a beautiful person and singer that I think I mourned her long ago. As for her second chance, I’m still not convinced she was on the road to recovery but it’s sad that we’ll never have the chance to find out.
Summed up perfectly exactly how I felt and feel about Whitney’s death. Great post.