Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Hello, Anxiety. I’ve been expecting you.

I started this meme as a way to get your writing juices flowing. I used to do this exercise in college and we would freewrite for 15 minutes. But back then, we did it with pen and paper and the amount we could write in 15 minutes is about the same as I can type in 5 minutes.

However, sometimes the juices are flowing and you don’t want to stop.

DON’T.

I don’t want your post to end up being the first chapter of a novel or anything but if you’ve got some thoughts you want to work to a logical end, then by all means, DO IT. I knew I needed to get the bulk of my thoughts out today so I wrote for about 7 minutes.

And I am still working through all your fantastic entries from the last two weeks. I’ve been a bit busy and a bit anxiety-ridden and if you read below, you’ll maybe understand why.

Today’s (Optional) Writing Prompt: What causes you anxiety? Not just stress but true anxiety. How does your body and mind generally deal with it? How do YOU deal with it?

Here we go…

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Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop my medications. Actually, I didn’t pick today. I just happened to be out of town much longer than I anticipated and ran out of my medications.

What medications you might be thinking? If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you might know or suspect that I take something daily for the no-more-babies thing. Luckily, that comes in a nice neat 30 day pack so I didn’t run out of those. I also take something every night for sleeping. Just a little something to quell the anxiety that comes with being a former insomniac (it was a really, really bad time in my life).

And then I take something for my general day-to-day wackiness. It helps with depression and anxiety and generally keeps those at bay.

But this week kinda, sorta put it all to the test.

We sold our house (or almost sold it). We just need to wait for the papers and the ink to dry which should all (fingers-crossed-knock-on-wood-salt-over-my-shoulder) happen at the end of the month. Which meant we needed to find a place QUICKLY or figure out what our living situation would be.

I hightailed it to Maryland with lil Evan in tow and on the first day of househunting, he decided to show us the stomach virus he brought along for the ride. After a few days of recovery and some more mild househunting, I was convinced we were going to build a new house. And then after we priced out all of the options, I think I had a mini-stroke.

We decided, on a whim, to check out a different area that we had been to once before. Lo and behold, our house shone like a bright star. Brand new, completely optioned out house that had fallen through for someone else. And the builder decided to have a fire sale.

I could barely breathe but it didn’t make sense to NOT buy this house.

Not much sleeping. Not eating because my tummy hurt from anxiety. Then overeating when I realized I hadn’t eaten all day. Then drinking a glass or two or three of wine to calm me down. And then not sleeping well.

We bought the house, provided all my prayers are answered at the end of the month and now I still can’t breathe. Shortness of breath, focusing on everything I’m leaving behind peppered with all of the newness coming our way.

Luckily, I’m home. I’m ready for bed. And I’m about the be medicated. But I’m going to need lots of comforting over the next few weeks.

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This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

• Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
• Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
• Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
• Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
• Link up your post below.
• Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Now…

1. Grab the button

(it’s over in the sidebar)

2. Write your post.

3. Link up here.