Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Hello, Anxiety. I’ve been expecting you.

I started this meme as a way to get your writing juices flowing. I used to do this exercise in college and we would freewrite for 15 minutes. But back then, we did it with pen and paper and the amount we could write in 15 minutes is about the same as I can type in 5 minutes.

However, sometimes the juices are flowing and you don’t want to stop.

DON’T.

I don’t want your post to end up being the first chapter of a novel or anything but if you’ve got some thoughts you want to work to a logical end, then by all means, DO IT. I knew I needed to get the bulk of my thoughts out today so I wrote for about 7 minutes.

And I am still working through all your fantastic entries from the last two weeks. I’ve been a bit busy and a bit anxiety-ridden and if you read below, you’ll maybe understand why.

Today’s (Optional) Writing Prompt: What causes you anxiety? Not just stress but true anxiety. How does your body and mind generally deal with it? How do YOU deal with it?

Here we go…

stream of consciousness Sunday

Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop my medications. Actually, I didn’t pick today. I just happened to be out of town much longer than I anticipated and ran out of my medications.

What medications you might be thinking? If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you might know or suspect that I take something daily for the no-more-babies thing. Luckily, that comes in a nice neat 30 day pack so I didn’t run out of those. I also take something every night for sleeping. Just a little something to quell the anxiety that comes with being a former insomniac (it was a really, really bad time in my life).

And then I take something for my general day-to-day wackiness. It helps with depression and anxiety and generally keeps those at bay.

But this week kinda, sorta put it all to the test.

We sold our house (or almost sold it). We just need to wait for the papers and the ink to dry which should all (fingers-crossed-knock-on-wood-salt-over-my-shoulder) happen at the end of the month. Which meant we needed to find a place QUICKLY or figure out what our living situation would be.

I hightailed it to Maryland with lil Evan in tow and on the first day of househunting, he decided to show us the stomach virus he brought along for the ride. After a few days of recovery and some more mild househunting, I was convinced we were going to build a new house. And then after we priced out all of the options, I think I had a mini-stroke.

We decided, on a whim, to check out a different area that we had been to once before. Lo and behold, our house shone like a bright star. Brand new, completely optioned out house that had fallen through for someone else. And the builder decided to have a fire sale.

I could barely breathe but it didn’t make sense to NOT buy this house.

Not much sleeping. Not eating because my tummy hurt from anxiety. Then overeating when I realized I hadn’t eaten all day. Then drinking a glass or two or three of wine to calm me down. And then not sleeping well.

We bought the house, provided all my prayers are answered at the end of the month and now I still can’t breathe. Shortness of breath, focusing on everything I’m leaving behind peppered with all of the newness coming our way.

Luckily, I’m home. I’m ready for bed. And I’m about the be medicated. But I’m going to need lots of comforting over the next few weeks.

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
  • Link up your post below.
  • Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

Now…

1. Grab the button

(it’s over in the sidebar)

2. Write your post.

3. Link up here.

  • http://nightlightjourneys.blogspot.com/ Monika Melsha

    I haven’t written my post yet because technically it’s still Saturday but I wanted to say congratulations to you & your family for inking two deals. It’s a monumental task & I’m sure you are going to be happy with the new diggs knowing you will never forget the lasting memories made in your current home.

    Take a deep breath & know that the hectic nature of the weeks to come won’t last forever. You can get through it, plus there’s always wine!

  • http://dominiquegoh.com/ Dominiquegoh

    Congrads on managing to sell the house and getting your new house. It will certainly be a lot of action for you these few months. 

  • http://www.mommywords.com Brittany at Mommy Words

    Fadra good luck with everything!  The house is beautiful and things will work out.  I am excited to see you now when I visit the DC metro area.  I actually get there a lot more than I do to the triangle.  Yay!

  • a.eye

    Congrats, and I hope that as you get the paperwork finished, you will feel the joy of being finished with that phase of your life and the anxiety of the new move will not be too much!

  • http://twitter.com/CiaoMom Elena Sonnino

    Congrats on the house–and I can only imagine the anxiety level. Hopefully it will all be worth it when you are settled and moved in, and moving will be a distant memory. 

  • Andrea B.

    I cannot breathe while reading your post. I’m sorry it was all so much mayhem, but I am excited for you. Many congrats and I’ll miss you even though it’s rare that I see you in our area. But you get me anyway – yes? Huge hugs and hang in there. It’ll all fall into place. And take those meds! Sweet dreams.

  • Amanda – Her Thirties

    First off, congrats on the house situation.. Really awesome! Even though it comes hand in hand with anxiety and other things of the like.

    Secondly, in response to your comment on my post today.. If I’m you in 10 years WOO HOO!!! You’re one of my favs in the blogosphere, so all good!

    Thirdly, thank you for hosting such an awesome linkup! I’ve missed one week (was on vacation) since I started a half a year ago and it’s one of the few things I do “religiously” each week.

  • Neeroc

    Congrats on the new home!

  • Melissa_FillingOurBucket

    Congratulations with the house stuff and best of luck with all of it. It is definitely a lot to take in!! 

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  • http://www.ladybluejay.com/ Jayla

    The future makes me anxious just because I want to know where I end up and what my life will be like. Sometimes I know it is better to take a backseat and just live, but there are times when I just can’t help it. I need to know…lol.

    I hope everything works out with both houses and I hope you are able to maintain your anxiety!

  • g2baker

    Thanks for the prompt, this was my first *ever* post on my blog. Thanks! I find your circumstance of selling the house and what I have been going through..drinking more than two/three glasses of wine spot on. Its crazy! Maybe we should write about “Stress is a B**CH”?? 

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