We’ve all been approached by the former deposed prince of Nigeria with the promise of riches, haven’t we? All we need to do is let him wire millions of dollars to our bank account and then we’ll transfer it for him. And just for helping him out, he’ll give us a cool million or so.
I shudder to think of the people that may have fallen for that one.
Marjorie, you’re never gonna believe this but somehow some royalty has found us through this here internet. This prince seems like a nice enough fella and I’d sure love to help him out. Maybe with a little extra cash we can fix up the Olds Cutlass.
But the spammers are getting better. They really are. For example, they mask themselves as Apple Customer Service or PayPal Account Authorization. All they need from you is to confirm your user ID and password so they can help you STEAL ALL YOUR MONEY.
Even though Gmail does a pretty good job of keeping all of those emails in my Spam folder, a few of them get through once in a while. And then I find myself going down that rabbit hole of opening the spam and finding the best ones. My favorites usually have an elaborate story behind them or have a delicately butchered use of the English language. So I thought, what better way to entertain you than to share some of these gems with you.
1. Western Union has wired me money!
Attention, We have deposited the check of your fund ($2.700`000`00USD) through Western Union department after our finally meeting regarding your fund, All you will do is to contact Western Union director Dr.Robert Anthony contac them with this E-mail ([email protected]). He will give you direction on how you will be receiving the funds daily.Remember to send him your Full information to avoid wrong transfer such as, Receiver’s Name_______________ Address: ________________ Country: _____________ Phone Number: _____________ Though, Mrs. Franklin Moore has sent $5000 in your name today so contact Dr.Robert Anthony or you call him +229-99415816 as soon as you receive this email and tell him to give you the Mtcn, sender name and question/answer to pick the $5000 Please let us know as soon as you received all your fund, Best Regards. WESTERN UNION AGENT
Poor punctuation and grammar. But we expect that. But that email address? Yeah. Totally not believable. That’s when I called their bluff and not a moment before.
2. Skimming off the top of charities!
Hello,
This is based on blind trust hoping you can be trusted. I have Two Hundred Million United States Dollars for Charity projects and you will get 20% of the total sum. Contact me for details if interested.
Mr. William Billington
Thank you for your blind trust, Mr. Billington. Wait a minute… BILLINGTON? Is that a play on words? I don’t do business like this anyway. If I’m accepting large sums for charity, I require AT LEAST 30%.
3. A dying widow is willing everything to me!
Dear Beloved,
My name is Mrs. Jessica Gordon I am a dying woman who has decided to donate what I have to charities through you. You may be wondering why I chose you. But someone has to be chosen. I am old and was diagnosed for cancer, after the death of my husband who had left me everything he worked for.
I have been touched by the Lord to donate from what I have inherited from my late husband to charity through you for the good work of humanity. I have asked the Lord to forgive me all my sins and I believe he has, because He is merciful. I will be going in for an operation, and I pray that I survive the operation.
I have decided to Will/Donate the sum of £9,000,000.00 {nine million great britain pound} to charities through you for the good work of the Lord, and to help the motherless, less privileged and also for the assistance of the widows. Presently, I have informed my consultant about my decision in willing this fund to charity through you.
I wish you all the best and may the good Lord bless you abundantly, and please use the funds well and always extend the good work to others. Ifyou are interested in carrying out this task, I will inform my consultant.I know i have never met you but my mind tells me to do this, and I hopeyou act sincerely.
Please reply me via this E-mail Address: [email protected]
PLEASE INCLUDE YOUR FULL NAME, ADDRESS, TELEPHONE/FAX NUMBER ON YOUR REPLY FOR EASY AND IMMEDIATE COMMUNICATION WITH MY CONSULTANT.
Your sincerely,
Mrs. Jessica Gordon
I love that Mrs. Gordon is using cancer AND the Lord to convince me to carry out her good works. I’m just wondering why “Jessica” wants to pay me in British pounds yet has an email address from Peru. Then again, God works in mysterious ways…
4. Colluding with a criminal!
Good afternoon to you,
How are you doing today? I sent this letter to you previously, but I did not get any response from you, and I am sending it once more hoping it gets to you this time around to enable me to stop any further search. I apologize for the necessity to write you and to become maybe bothersome, but I believe in your ability to prosecute a project of great enormity, please note this is not connected with any deceptive intention as you may have imagine. I have a very lucrative project that I would want you and I to execute immediately. There is a quiescent account in my institution here in England. This very account is attached to a client of mine Mr. Albert J. Stanley, a former Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of KBR Inc, who is currently in confinement as a result of his involvement in inducement scandal.
For more details about Mr. Albert Stanley, kindly visit the news link below,
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/ex-kbr-chief-gets-30-months-for-nigeria-bribery/
However, prior to his reformatory center, my client Mr. Albert, told me to look for a foreign business partner who would help him to receive his funds amounting to Seven Million, Five Hundred Thousand Pounds (7.5MGBP) with our institution into his/her bank account for an investment orientation pending his release from the penitentiary.
If your interested, then I want to inform you that this exercise is very simple, direct , and has no encumbrance attached for whatsoever. On the other hand, should I have your full consent to participate in the project, I am going to provide you with all the necessary information about the project, these includes an authorization letter from Mr. Albert Stanley and a Memorandum of understanding to bring us together for the business?.
For us to proceed, I would like to know your full name, address, age, direct telephone, fax number and occupation, this is to enable me to prepare the memorandum of understanding. Please if you have any question, do not hesitate to inform me for further clarification.
I will be waiting to hear from you.
Contact me through my private email [email protected]
Regards,
Brian L. Quest.
This one is almost legitimate. Because Mr. Quest references a REAL person and has a link to a story about that REAL person from CBS News! Somehow, though, he didn’t think through the fact that I might not want to accept funds from a convicted criminal. That and the fact that this British banker has horrible grammar and uses an email address from Poland. So close!
5. Long lost relative in Hong Kong!
I am Vice Chairman, Board of Directors Hang Seng Bank Hong Kong.Dr.Raymond Chien; A deceased client of mine, that shares the samelast name as yours, Died without a next of kin. $16,M in my Branch.Contact Email: [email protected], Dr Raymond.
Guess what? The sender really is from Hong Kong! And there really is a Hang Send Bank! But I’m pretty sure that no one by the name of Nally died in Hong Kong with $16 million in the bank. But maybe I’ll respond just in case…
Got a good spam story? BRING IT. I love comments. My blog is lonely.
5 comments
Very sadly I personally know a family where Grandma (who really wasn’t that old) fell for one of the Nigerian scams. She was fresh of a very unexpected divorce and seeking friendships online. She died suddenly and her children were left in a probate battle with her young Nigerian husband.
The lesson here: If you have good discernment, make it your responsibility to inform the people around you. And show them this post.
Oh no. That’s so sad. It’s a bit of a joke to those of us that are more savvy but some of the scams look pretty legit. Fortunately, I’ve never come close to falling for a Nigerian prince.
So we got one from a friend trapped in Spain who was “on holiday” and needed us to send him “$1000 U.S.” This was a frat brother of my husband’s. This guy was lucky if he could get out complete sentences, let alone talk about being on holiday with specific currency.
Best one I’ve gotten lately:
URGENT ATTENTION:
My name is Mr Jan Eliasson, I am a crime fighter and Deputy Secretary-General of the United Nations. I was mandated to come to Nigeria-Africa to investigate frauds that are being committed here in Nigeria at intervals. I am presently working with the Nigerian inspector general of police, some FBI and CIA agents to ensure that the perpetrators of this Evil activities are urgently apprehended.
“I am very honoured to be invited to eradicate fraud completely in Africa which I have vowed to do without any fear or favour,” but it baffles me to discover that your impending funds from Africa, which was intercepted,has not been released to you till this moment after being cleared by the Nigerian Presidency,Federal Ministry of Justice and the Finance Ministry. It is also clearly indicated that you have made several attempts and spend much money to transfer your funds to your account but to no avail.
With the help of the Nigerian Police, special FBI and CIA agents in Nigeria, We have managed to apprehend some scam syndicates who made some confessional statements and indited Ex-Governor of Central Bank of Nigeria(Professor Charles Soludo and his successor Dr.Lamido Sanusi. They have confessed how they have impersonated the names of some UN Executive members like MR BAN KI-MOON, Mrs.Inga-Britt Ahlenius and Ms.Carman L. Lapointe Lapointe Mrs Paulette Beal to defraud their victims.
Please, we have noticed that Nigerians are very ruthless and have defrauded so many foreigners we have also discovered the irregularities in foreign payment files intentionally masterminded by these scammers and urgently called the attention of the World Bank President and Mr. Bank Ki-Moon and they both came to a resolution that the Federal Government of Nigeria must pay a total amount of $10.5M to each of the people whose names were found in the list till this irregularity has been corrected.
This approved amount must be made available to all beneficiaries within the next 14 banking days or an Economic Sanction will be placed on Nigeria by the UN and other international Organizations.
NOTE: On no account must you be requested to pay any fee by any Bank or individual in Nigeria. The only fee you must pay to receive your fund which covers every other fee is a UN POLICE FUND CLEARANCE REPORT FEE OF $225.This must be paid directly to my office here for the procurement and endorsement of all your fund approval/release documents by the UN.
WARNING!!!!!!. The UN has never for once sent any Diplomat to Nigeria for any payment. IF you have any dealings with anyone claiming to be any of these persons, please STOP immediately or we shall cancel this payment of USD$10.5M that has already been approved to you.Note that,the UN POLICE FUND CLEARANCE REPORT FEE is must and very important, so take note of that.
NB: Every communication should be made through the e-mail address below: ([email protected]) on how to send the $225 only
NOTE: We have asked for the above UN POLICE FUND CLEARANCE REPORT FEE to make available the most complete and up-to date records possible.immediately Contact me via E-mail for instructions on how to send the $225.any other contact or payment you make apart from the UN POLICE FUND CLEARANCE REPORT FEE is at your own risk. WE will like your respond to this call to avoid any further delaying.
Do not be afraid for the fee, when replying this mail, include your full name, phone number,position and address so that we can register it here.
Thanks for your anticipated compliance to this message.
Regards,
Mr Jan Eliasson
UN Deputy Secretary-General.
UN Crime Fighting Officer.
Phone: +234-814-758-0825.
http://www.un.org/
I`m also recieved message, very good story)))
Dear Alexander (my Surname),
It was indeed a great pleasure hearing back from you and I believed that God has a purpose making us to know each other through this medium. Before I contacted you, I put this project into serious prayers and I know that our working together in respect of this project is a divine connection which I duly respect. I will now tell you more about this matter, but before I do that let me tell you a little about myself.
Like, I told you on my first message. My name is George Ekoue; I am a lawyer by profession from republic of Togo, West Africa. I am 50 years old, married and blessed with three children, one boy and two girls. I know that you will be very surprised after reading my previous message considering the fact that you do not know me in person, but do not be worried because our meeting will be a thing of joy at the end.
As it might interest you to know, I came across you while searching for my late foreign client relatives. I was the personal attorney to late Mr. Robert (my surname) a nationality of your country who died in an automobile accident in my country with his wife and his only daughter; he was entrepreneur and consultant for the shell international petroleum company Togo.
On December 26, 2010, my client and his family were involved in a car accident while returning from cultural festival held in the nearby town and everyone in the vehicle unfortunately lost their life. Since I got the information about his tragic death, I have been expecting his relative to contact me for the unclaimed of his funds valued at $10.2 Million USD with the bank, because the bank cannot release the funds unless somebody officially apply for it as indicated in the banking guidelines. For your information, before the untimely death of my client he made his (Last Will and Testament) and according to the Will, all his assets was willed to the only daughter Helen, who unfortunately died with her parents in the automobile accident, leaving nobody behind for the claim of the funds with the bank.
Ever since his death I have made several enquiries to locate any of his extended relatives but all my efforts proved abortive as there is no heir to the fund. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his last name on the Internet, hence I came across many people with the same surname, but I decided to contact only you first which I need your final statement or opinion before I decide on what to do.
Note: In the banking law, when such deposit (abandoned fund) remains unclaimed for a specified number of years known as the dormancy period, the bank will transfer custody to an unclaimed property trust government account in a legal process known as escheat. This occurs when the deceased person has no Last Will and Testament, no relatives, and no survivors to inherit the estates. You must understand that in the banking industry, chances or opportunities like these are common but not heard. People put their money in banks and some of these accounts are either coded or confidentially operated, therefore, when such people dies what do you think that happens to these fund when nobody comes for their claims? Well, this is one of the numerous avenues good free income is made within and amongst the bankers. Normally when something like this happens in bank, it is been reported to the management and the management can only wait for the Next of Kin or the Relatives to show up without publishing it in the media or making it public or to the embassy, because false claimants must definitely show up. Therefore, it is not published and the bank can only inform the deceased attorney as the case may be, and they only waits for the deceased attorney to provide the HEIR to the fund, as the availability of such funds are expected to be in the late “customer’s WILL” which would be the only source of knowledge of it by anybody who is entitled to such Estate. So the Bank gives some years for this and if no claimant comes forward then the bank authority sends the money to the trust government account as an unclaimed estate.
I know that you will be wondering why I waited this long before contacting you. For the past four years I have been monitoring this case to know if anybody will come for the claim of the fund with the bank, but unfortunately nobody showed up, and my private investigation confirmed to me that the deceased have not known relative as there is no heir to the fund. I kept this information to myself as to have enough time to investigate this case properly and decide on what to do. After due consideration, I concluded to find a trustworthy foreigner with the same surname to receive the money as the relative to the deceased, because I cannot fold my arms and let the money go to our corrupt government because at the end they will use the money for politics. Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the real relatives, I now seek your consent to present your particulars to the bank as the next of kin to my deceased client, so that the $10.2 Million dollars with the bank will be released to you since both of you are sharing the same surname. Of course I know that you might not be related to the deceased, but do not worry, this is field and I assure you that we will execute this operation successfully.
Note that your role will be simple, you will be required to stand as the claimant to this fund while I will be furnishing you with all the necessary information and documents which the bank will need to release the fund to you. As I earlier informed you, I am the personal attorney to the deceased and with my aide the fund will be released to you without any problem, because I have the final say to this matter and whatever I decide, the bank will have no objection. Note that it is my duty to present the successor to the bank and whosoever I present to the bank as the relative of my late client with the same surname will be approved, as long as the surnames are the same, notwithstanding if it is from birth or marriage, which means you are legally qualified to be presented to the bank as the relative to the deceased. Be informed also, that I am in perfect possessions of all the relevant information and documents that will perfect the successful execution of this project.
Therefore, be assured that this project is 100% risk free and will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect you and me from any breach of the law both here and over there in your country.
Note that the holding bank will not ask you questions based on the family lineage of the deceased; rather they will approve the funds on the basis of documented evidence and banking information of the deceased which I will supply to you from my office. I have concluded to work with you on this project and I do hope that we will work together with sincerity and total commitment to achieve this project, by so doing the fund will be approved and transferred into your bank account for our mutual benefit.
Upon receipt of your next mail indicating your willingness to work with me, I will immediately register your name with the bank as the successor with a letter of attestation to back you up for this claim.
At the successful conclusion of this transaction we will donate 20% of the total amount to the less privileged or any charitable organization in your country as gratification. The remaining 80% of the fund we will share equally 50/50, that is 50% for you and 50% for me.
Note that I am involved to send aids and donations to charitable institutions and organizations in West-Africa, specially to help build or maintain churches or houses of worship, to uplift the down-trodden and less-privileged individuals as I have passion for persons who cannot help themselves due to physical disability or financial predicament, and to fund the upkeep of widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, etc in west Africa. My dear, I also expect you to do the same when we successfully finalize this project, because you will receive lots of blessings when you do humanitarian work.
I would require you to send me your personal details as listed below so that I can commence the documentation process.
1.Your full names and personal address
2.Your date of birth
3.Your place of birth
4.Your phone and fax numbers
5.Your Occupation.
You can always reach me on my private number: +228 91749524 anytime for more discussion regarding this project.
I look forward for your positive response.
Sincerely,
Barr. George Ekoue.
PLEASE THIS PROJECT SHOULD BE KEPT TOP MOST SECRET AS NOT TO DERAIL OUR EFFORTS. BE INFORMED ALSO THAT CONSTANT COMMUNICATION IS A KEY FACTOR TO THE SUCCESS OF THIS MUTUAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION WHICH PROVES YOUR ALACRITY IN THIS SOMBER MATTER. THEREFORE, I WANT US TO KEEP TO CONSTANCY IN COMMUNICATION FOR OUR OWN INTEREST.