I’ve spent the last three years focused on my presence in social media and blogging. And frankly, I’ve loved almost every single minute of it.
I never had a passion for anything professionally until I moved into this space. I fell in love with blogging, and writing, and the entire community. I also felt welcome in this space. But to what end? What’s been my hope all along?
I’ll admit, I’m not much of a planner when it comes to laying out long-term roadmaps. Sure, I can do it for software release or a marketing campaign, but when it comes to my personal and professional life, not so much.
Maybe I did dream of book deals and a talk show and a cameo in an Oscar-award winning movie that eventually led to the character role of a lifetime and my very own Oscar and then…
Yes, sometimes I fantasize a little too much. But I knew all along that I was on the right path. And I love doing everything I’m doing. But sometimes you have to admit that steady income is a necessity in life. And sometimes, blogging doesn’t pay the bills.
So I’m going back to work.
Working doesn’t look too bad on me, does it? I once had a business trip to London. Those were the days.
Actually, it feels wrong to say I’m “going” back to work. Even though I was laid off over three years ago, I don’t feel like I’ve ever stopped working. I just stopped bringing home the modest paycheck I was receiving.
But I am moving back into a more formal working career and I’m pretty scared about it.
I can move fluidly in the social media and marketing space. I love communications and project management and community-building. Without even realizing it, I’ve built up all the qualifications for exactly the types of jobs I would want. I’m just struggling because these aren’t just jobs – these are J-O-B-S.
If you’ve never experienced it or in case you’ve forgotten, jobs require you to be at work at set times. Jobs have a commute and a lunch break and, gasp, a dress code. Jobs have offices and breakrooms and co-workers. And if you’re like me, it’s terrifying to go back to that world.
Blogging has given me a sense of freedom and creativity and belonging. And I worry about losing everything I’ve worked for.
I’m not leaving blogging. I’m just going to have to prioritize how I spend my time online.
On the brighter side, when I started blogging, I set certain parameters for myself. No cursing or swearing. No profanity or vulgarity. No religion or politics.
Well, I might have messed up that last one a little.
I have always written knowing that a potential future employer could be reading what I’m saying. And I’ve learned that interviewing for a job in social media means you are on display. Your blog, your oldest posts, your latest rants, your tweets, your videos. You may submit your resume but your entire portfolio is online.
While I may gulp hard thinking about an employer watching one of my wine review videos, I can’t think of anything that leaves me embarrassed, ashamed, panicked, or screwed. I know I’m on display every day any way but the real world can and does look at everything you do.
Next steps for me are to figure out balance. Not only do I have to plan to not be available for my son every day after school but I have to figure out how to balance my online world with my professional world with my family life. I guess that’s what truly frightens me.
I know there are so many bloggers out there that do it all and do it with grace. And I love some advice on trying to have it all.
I’m not ready to relegate blogging to simply a hobby. It’s a passion of mine and I love feeling the sense of community it brings me. And the paid gigs are kind of cool too.
Here’s to many more days of blogging and working and family and hoping the lines continue to blur.