I think that’s how the saying goes. Or maybe it’s cleanliness. But that one doesn’t sound as fun.
Here’s the bottom line. I’m a cheese lover and I know I’m not alone. Just a few tweets out there about cheese and I can see others revere this dairy product as much as I do.
Here’s what I am: a cheese connoisseur.
I know my cheeses quite well. I know the stinky cheeses and the smoked cheeses and the aged cheeses. Don’t try to give me a double cream brie when I have very clearly asked for a triple cream brie. I know the difference.
And if you haven’t ventured beyond the typical cheddar lately, here are two of my absolute favorites.
Fromager D’Affinois (Pssst. It’s French.)
You’ll look at this cheese and say it’s brie. And I’ll say, how dare you sir? This is an extra smooth, creamy cheese with a “soft oozing texture inside.” Okay, I didn’t write that copy. Because it makes it sound gross. But it is heaven in my mouth. And if you feel funny about eating the rind? This has one that is so soft and delicate, you won’t even know you’re eating it.
Now I’ll help you out in case you need to ask for it by name and you flunked 7th grade French.
It’s a mild, crumbly English cheese. You should be able to pronounce it. It’s an English word and luckily it’s not an English word like “Worcestershire” which still baffles me with the pronunciation.
I’m going to be honest. I used to be a huge fan of Wensleydale cheese with cranberries. But I’m giving it up. I don’t want to eat it anymore. Because I’ve found something better. Wensleydale with blueberries. I will tell you this. Some people absolutely love this cheese. And some absolutely hate it. You can guess which team I’m on.
Here’s what I’m not: a cheese snob.
I’ve often confessed my love of macaroni and cheese. As you may know, it can be an upscale dish. I’ve tried it with caramelized onions and truffle oil. It’s wonderful. But you know what makes the best macaroni and cheese?
I’ll admit Velveeta is actually a brand name and not a cheese name. But I just thought it sounded better than Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product.
That’s right. I eat cheese product. And Velveeta is the smoothest, meltiest cheese around. Perfect for macaroni, cheeseburgers, or any other gooey creation you’re making.
You know what I’m talking about here. That little tub of orange and pink swirled cheese that your family bought only during the holidays because it was so expensive? The tub that you always wanted to shove in your mouth without any crackers because you knew once your dad got a hold of it there would be nothing left? Or was that just my family?
Back in the day, our port wine cheese actually came in a ceramic crock. That was back when companies trusted consumers with breakable containers and their liability rates weren’t as high.
And now that I’ve brought you this far, I know you must truly be a cheese lover like me. So you will completely understand my ulterior motive for leading you down this rabbit hole.
I was asked to review some cheese.
Stop laughing. I’m not kidding.
I said yes, of course. In fact, I think I said YES, YES, YES. And I was sent a new mystery flavor of Laughing Cow cheese. My job? Try the cheese. And then give it a little personality. Write up a short one liner about the flavor, put it online, and then let the people decide which personality seems just right.
My assigned flavor was the Light Queso Fresco & Chipotle cheese. The contest is now over but won’t you please share your favorite cheese?
Disclosure: I was asked to participate in a Laughing Cow Wedge contest to personify their new cheese flavors. I was provided a cheese sample for the project. And who really needs to know more than that? I was not required to write a post about cheese. But since I write from the heart, this post came naturally. After the voting period ends, the author of the winning entry for each flavor will receive a gift basket of The Laughing Cow products and accessories valued at $150.