Just so you know, my life is not all lollipops and sunshine. While I try to find the silver lining in every cloud, I don’t always do that. Because things bug me. A lot.
We all have those little buttons that get pushed from time to time. I used to curse like a sailor whenever I got in the car. To call it road rage would be extreme, but let me just say this to all the other drivers out there: I’m glad you couldn’t hear me. Once I had a child, I cleaned it up. A little. Then I stopped my daily commute (re: unemployment) and found that my frustrations disappeared quite a bit.
But I still have some pet peeves. These things just bug me. I’m not saying I’m perfect or without flaws. (You can say it, though, if you feel really compelled). And I’m not even saying my pet peeves aren’t hypocritical. But they are mine. So watch out.
1. People who make me late
Okay, stop laughing. I know you know that I am eternally late to everything in my entire life. But that’s when I am at fault. If I happen to be ready to go somewhere earlier than whoever I am going with, I don’t mind waiting. But don’t make me late. That’s my job. If I am early or even on time for something, please don’t screw it up for me. Yes, I should have much more tolerance because I know I have made others late on numerous occasions. I guess I’m just weird like that.
2. Crooked bumper stickers
While I’m on the car kick, I’ll have to admit that I’m not a fan of bumper stickers. I guess if you have an old ratty car and it lends to the charm, then go right ahead. Generally speaking, I think it cheapens the car. However, if you MUST put a bumper sticker on your car, please, please take the time to put it on straight. And while you’re at it? Once the election is over, you can stop your campaigning. Those stickers have to go.
3. Unprepared people at an airport ticket and/or airport security line
I used to travel a fair amount for business so I got pretty good at the whole process. And one day, someone put it so plainly for me as to why I get so frustrated. People who travel for leisure, or don’t travel at all, pack for an airplane the way they would for a car trip. You know the type. They frequently use grocery bags as carry-ons. And when they are asked for their ID, they have to to dig through mounds of receipts and old gum in their purse to get it even though they just had it out.
4. Hair in a hotel bathroom
I know that there are thousands of people that have stayed in my hotel room before I get there. I’ve seen all the reports about the microscopic things they leave behind. But for me? It’s the hair. The hair reminds me that someone else has slept in this bed and washed their bits and pieces in this shower. It grosses me out. I know that housekeeping can’t possibly get every speck of everything but it still drives me nuts.
5. People thinking that Miracle Whip is an acceptable substitute for mayonnaise
Oddly enough, I won a t-shirt from Miracle Whip recently on Twitter for tweeting about my preference of mayonnaise over Miracle Whip. I don’t know where Miracle Whip comes from but word to the wise, if you ask me if I want mayo, it better be just that. Miracle Whip is entirely different.
6. Unsupervised children
I’m going to sound like a total snot here. But I don’t love all kids. Some kids annoy me. The unsupervised ones especially annoy me. Just because I’m a grown-up doesn’t mean I will watch your kids if you don’t feel like it. If you are at the playground, watch your kids. If you are at a playdate, watch your kids. If you are in a store, or restaurant, or any public place, watch your kids. Don’t worry. I will step in a prevent them from running into traffic, but other then that you’re on your own.
7. Using an upside down M as a W on a sign
They are two different letters. You’re not fooling anyone.
8. Fundraising kids
I did it. You probably did it. But do you really want your kids walking door to door selling magazines and overpriced crap all in the name of a fundraiser? The sad part is that the fundraising company bathes in money, the school gets a small portion, and the kids actually think they are going to win fabulous prizes if they sell more than anyone else. My one exception to the rule: Girl Scout cookies. You girls can keep coming around and I will keep buying.
9. Auto DM
If you are on Twitter, you already get this. I have never met a single, solitary person on Twitter who thinks these are a good idea. And no matter how much you personalize it and try to make it sound conversational, we all know it’s an auto DM. So just stop already.
10. Improper procedures in a public restroom
Ladies – I’m talking to you. You know who you are. You are the ones that can’t bear to sit on the toilet seat. So you stand and attempt to do what only men are meant to do standing up. The result? That toilet seat covered in the remains of the day. That’s bad enough. But can you at least wipe it off? Do you think the next lovely lady wants to wipe your urine off the seat? And while you’re at it, flush. Use your foot. You can do it.
And there you have it. My “just 5 things” pet peeve list. Oh, I have 10 things on the list? I thought you would never notice. Let me just say that once I got started, I had a hard time stopping. Next week, I’ll be back to rainbows and lollipops.