Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when when I'm angry.
Just so you know, my life is not all lollipops and sunshine. While I try to find the silver lining in every cloud, I don’t always do that. Because things bug me. A lot.
We all have those little buttons that get pushed from time to time. I used to curse like a sailor whenever I got in the car. To call it road rage would be extreme, but let me just say this to all the other drivers out there: I’m glad you couldn’t hear me. Once I had a child, I cleaned it up. A little. Then I stopped my daily commute (re: unemployment) and found that my frustrations disappeared quite a bit.
But I still have some pet peeves. These things just bug me. I’m not saying I’m perfect or without flaws. (You can say it, though, if you feel really compelled). And I’m not even saying my pet peeves aren’t hypocritical. But they are mine. So watch out.
1. People who make me late
Okay, stop laughing. I know you know that I am eternally late to everything in my entire life. But that’s when I am at fault. If I happen to be ready to go somewhere earlier than whoever I am going with, I don’t mind waiting. But don’t make me late. That’s my job. If I am early or even on time for something, please don’t screw it up for me. Yes, I should have much more tolerance because I know I have made others late on numerous occasions. I guess I’m just weird like that.
2. Crooked bumper stickers
While I’m on the car kick, I’ll have to admit that I’m not a fan of bumper stickers. I guess if you have an old ratty car and it lends to the charm, then go right ahead. Generally speaking, I think it cheapens the car. However, if you MUST put a bumper sticker on your car, please, please take the time to put it on straight. And while you’re at it? Once the election is over, you can stop your campaigning. Those stickers have to go.
3. Unprepared people at an airport ticket and/or airport security line
I used to travel a fair amount for business so I got pretty good at the whole process. And one day, someone put it so plainly for me as to why I get so frustrated. People who travel for leisure, or don’t travel at all, pack for an airplane the way they would for a car trip. You know the type. They frequently use grocery bags as carry-ons. And when they are asked for their ID, they have to to dig through mounds of receipts and old gum in their purse to get it even though they just had it out.
4. Hair in a hotel bathroom
I know that there are thousands of people that have stayed in my hotel room before I get there. I’ve seen all the reports about the microscopic things they leave behind. But for me? It’s the hair. The hair reminds me that someone else has slept in this bed and washed their bits and pieces in this shower. It grosses me out. I know that housekeeping can’t possibly get every speck of everything but it still drives me nuts.
5. People thinking that Miracle Whip is an acceptable substitute for mayonnaise
Oddly enough, I won a t-shirt from Miracle Whip recently on Twitter for tweeting about my preference of mayonnaise over Miracle Whip. I don’t know where Miracle Whip comes from but word to the wise, if you ask me if I want mayo, it better be just that. Miracle Whip is entirely different.
6. Unsupervised children
I’m going to sound like a total snot here. But I don’t love all kids. Some kids annoy me. The unsupervised ones especially annoy me. Just because I’m a grown-up doesn’t mean I will watch your kids if you don’t feel like it. If you are at the playground, watch your kids. If you are at a playdate, watch your kids. If you are in a store, or restaurant, or any public place, watch your kids. Don’t worry. I will step in a prevent them from running into traffic, but other then that you’re on your own.
7. Using an upside down M as a W on a sign
They are two different letters. You’re not fooling anyone.
8. Fundraising kids
I did it. You probably did it. But do you really want your kids walking door to door selling magazines and overpriced crap all in the name of a fundraiser? The sad part is that the fundraising company bathes in money, the school gets a small portion, and the kids actually think they are going to win fabulous prizes if they sell more than anyone else. My one exception to the rule: Girl Scout cookies. You girls can keep coming around and I will keep buying.
9. Auto DM
If you are on Twitter, you already get this. I have never met a single, solitary person on Twitter who thinks these are a good idea. And no matter how much you personalize it and try to make it sound conversational, we all know it’s an auto DM. So just stop already.
10. Improper procedures in a public restroom
Ladies – I’m talking to you. You know who you are. You are the ones that can’t bear to sit on the toilet seat. So you stand and attempt to do what only men are meant to do standing up. The result? That toilet seat covered in the remains of the day. That’s bad enough. But can you at least wipe it off? Do you think the next lovely lady wants to wipe your urine off the seat? And while you’re at it, flush. Use your foot. You can do it.
And there you have it. My “just 5 things” pet peeve list. Oh, I have 10 things on the list? I thought you would never notice. Let me just say that once I got started, I had a hard time stopping. Next week, I’ll be back to rainbows and lollipops.
20 comments
Oh my gosh crooked bumper stickers. I could not agree with you more. My favorites are the ones that are extra crooked and pro-politician that lost an election. Not only do you have a loser’s name on your car, but it’s stuck there all crookedly forever.
Auto DM! Probably the biggest one for me on this list.
Well, if your life were all lollipops and sunshine, you’d have no teeth and skin cancer. I vote for #10 as my #1. If you DO need to hover, lift the seat first (with your foot, if you’re so afraid of germs)!
LOL, were we separated @ birth?? I’m with you on most except I’m a mustard girl, so that one doesn’t really apply.
I think I only recently stopped seeing Mondale-Ferraro stickers. ‘Course, you’ll probably have to look up who they are 😉
OMG. I experienced this first hand at the mall today. I won’t go into details but it was extremely disgusting. In the family bathroom, no less.
Wow! If that’s you’re biggest one than you are much easier to please than me. But I vow to NEVER to auto DMs. Promise.
Okay, Tammy. I have some good news for you. We WERE separated at birth. When I won the t-shirt from Miracle Whip, you are supposed to pick a “debate” to put on your shirt. Like “Madonna OR Lady Gaga”, “Yankees OR Red Sox”. For mine? I picked “ketchup OR mustard” because I believe those condiments define people. Most people are ketchup OR mustard. I’m a mustard girl all the way. I rarely use ketchup and reserve mayo typically for my burger or turkey sandwich. Otherwise, I find a way to work Dijon into whatever I’m eating.
#10 is probably one of my pet peeves, but even more than that, I hate the faux hand washers. You know the ones – they run the water for just a few seconds, get the tips of their fingers wet, and run out the door. Haven’t these people ever heard of soap? I’ve also noticed that it’s often the sames ones who are so particular about any part of their bodies actually touching the toilet seat.
Found you through Lady Bloggers, and I really like what I’ve seen so far. Can’t wait to read more!
I seem to remember a certain bumper sticker “Proud Parent of a Case Western Reserve Honor Student” and the student it made feel special because I put it on my car. I currently have “Proud Parent of Arbutus Middle School Honor Student” and the another sticker “AGAIN!” in the largest type permitted on a sticker if you maintain your honor status. Someday it will end…UNLESS they start with “I am a Proud Grandparent of….” Don’t anyone suggest that last sentence!
Auto responses–yes, yes and yes. And I also go crazy when people make me late. My husband is one of those people- as are many others (who miraculously are related to him)….it drives me BATTY.
Yes, yes, yes on the toilet seat thing. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. To all you standing pee-ers: YOU are too good to sit on a toilet seat, but it’s ok for ME to sit in YOUR pee?
Really, now.
Did I say 12? I mean number 10…see how fired up I am now?
Oh Fadra hilarious! I loved your list and agree with all of them! And not to hijack but number 12 is SO spot on. I wrote a post about this very issue a few years ago! http://lilkidthings.com/im-going-there/
1, 3, 5, and 10!
My husband is guilty of #1 and it drives me bonkers. All his family is the same!
I get airport rage anytime we travel. I mean even with a kid I am faster than most people.
I am tired of people telling me Miracle Whip is mayo..it isn’t and it isn’t fooling anyone!
I admit, the public bathrooms gross me out and I can’t for the life of me wonder why people can’t clean up after themselves or flush. Is it that hard? I especially have to wonder what they are doing when their are toilet seat covers right there!
Anne, I could not have said it any better than that.
How about this one, then? I used to work across from a law office. There was a tall, thin blond who worked there and I would see her come and go from the bathroom while I was in a stall. She NEVER washed her hands. If she happened to leave while others were not in a stall, she would do the quickie wash you described above. Come on, people! Thanks for stopping by 😉
I’m glad to strike a nerve with so many people on that. I don’t think men realize how rough we have it. And I’m glad to know I’m not alone.
Kindred spirits, my dear. Being married to a pilot, I’m sure you have the whole airport thing down to a science. But seriously, people, prepare!!
This is wonderful. And I hate every. single. one. of. those. things. too.
Hilarious. I was completely nodding along and giving you AMEN’s all the way through that!