Shopping with a Keen Eye for the Ridiculous

I love shopping. And I also get a pretty big kick out of ridiculous things. I actually have a whole folder on my iPhone for apps I deem “Ridiculous” (iFart being one of them). But when you combine shopping and ridiculousness, it can be quite entertaining.

On Monday, I went to Sears for the afternoon. I’m not a regular Sears shopper but I was on the lookout for a deal on a dishwasher (that I didn’t find there, by the way). However, I absolutely love Lands End and there were some pretty good sales going on in Sears on the Lands End merchandise. I highly recommend their down vests for both grown-ups and kids.

Because I hadn’t been shopping there in so long, it was a real novelty. I saw some interesting products, some of which I tweeted about, and I found the land the time forgot.

There were the fashion faux pas like:

fingerless gloves

The fingerless gloves that allow you to text while keeping your hands warm (shhhh, I actually want these).

clothes I never want to wear

The mock turtlenecks I dubbed “Clothes I hope I never wear.” What I enjoyed were the comments I got from people saying “That looks like something my Aunt Judy would wear” or “My mother-in-law owns every single one of these.” Do me a favor. If you ever see me wearing one of these, shoot me dead.

Then I progressed to upstairs in the store. Or what I like to call bizarro world. En route to the potty, I spotted a few catchy advertising posters on the wall.

outdated fashion eyewear

You say fashion eyewear. I say glasses. But one thing we can all agree on, the 90s are over. That kid is probably on her third marriage by now. I suspect this ad was a response so as not to be outdone by the tax department…

bad taxes

My reaction to this one? “The 80s called and they’re ready to do your taxes” to which my favorite response was, “Back taxes, maybe.” That sure is a cool monitor.

And then things got really strange. I visited the Christmas decorations department. Most of it was regular ol’ straight up Christmas stuff. I enjoyed it. Until I saw this.

holiday pig

That’s right. It’s a holiday pig. And it can be YOUR holiday pig for just $79.99. What was so bizarre was the reactions I got from people. They ranged from, “OMG, are you serious?” to “OMG, I want that!” I’m still not sure what I think about a Santa Pig.

But the shopping madness continued when I spent my birthday doing what I love to do. Shop. It’s not all about the buying for me (although I did complete most of my son’s Christmas shopping). It’s about the browsing and looking and random ideas that pop into my head as a result.

A quick trip to Bed Bath & Beyond gave me pause when I came across two products. The first was a set of headphones on clearance. What caught my eye was the packaging.

headphones

These are headphones that will apparently take the place of therapy. As the “testimonial” on the package states, “MyZone saved our relationship!” I’m thinking that if headphones are all it took to “save” your relationship, you might not really be ready for a real relationship. Just saying.

I rounded the corner and I saw more. This is the really funny part of this next picture. I have absolutely no recollection of what product this was part of. It might have been a laptop desk. I can’t be sure.

real people

What caught my eye is that a new feature of this product is that it was designed for real people by real people. Was is designed by robots previously? Was it designed for robots? Maybe they had a lab of dogs doing the design. And they mistakenly designed it for rabbits. In any case, the human factor is back.

Needless to say, I’ve been enjoying m holiday shopping. People are stressed and cranky and ever using pepper spray. I prefer to simply find the humor all around me. And every once in a while, amid the laughs, I find something that makes my shopping trip worthwhile.

peanuts

May you be outrageously happy this holiday season!

  • Anonymous

    Holiday Pig?  I … don’t… ???

    • Anonymous

      I know… I just… I mean… ??

  • Good Girl Gone Green

    You found some amazing things to giggle at while out and about, but the pig….oh and I love peanuts!

    • Anonymous

      I try to find humor wherever I go :)

  • Anonymous

    I was lmmfaoooooooooooooooo this entire post!!! A santa pig??!!!!!!!!!!! just.stop.it.
    http://www.style4curves.blogspot.com

    • Anonymous

      I WILL NEVER STOP IT.

  • Iamangel00

    Happy belated birthday Fadra!!

    • Anonymous

      Thank you!!!

  • http://twitter.com/LadyAnne525 Anne Hogan

    I was in Sears a few weeks ago, I can’t remember what for, but I saw those same mock turtlenecks.  If I’m ever caught wearing one (excluding wearing it to be hilarious) please hit me.  Hard.

    Oh, and I saw that pig at K-mart!  I was there on Thanksgiving, as is my tradition, and saw it in all it’s lit up glory.  I tried to take a picture, but it was jammed in with so many other light up things that I couldn’t get a good shot, and I couldn’t find the boxes anywhere.  Maybe they were sold out.  I mean, $80 for a Santa pig is a really great deal….

    • Anonymous

      I had the unfortunate pleasure of stopping by Kmart after I went to Sears and there was no pig to be found. Maybe that’s a statement saying Kmart shoppers will snatch up a Holiday Pig but Sears shoppers are a little more refined.

      Nah.

  • http://confessionsofavi3tbabe.com Vi3tI3abe

    Dude! Now I really want that Holiday Pig!!!!! It’s going on the list!!! :P

    Ahh, Linus is one smart lil’ dude.

    • Anonymous

      See, there you go, you are one of those people that says OMG I have to have it! I will say, it does have a bit of appeal to me.

  • http://twitter.com/Mediamum Jo White

    Must have… Santa Pig (when it goes on clearance after Christmas :)) And I have those gloves (got them at Dollar Tree actually) and they really work, sometimes. Other times I just look like a mad woman pushing hard on her phone. Happy holidays, and birthday too!

    • Anonymous

      Thank you and thank you and now I’m totally buying those gloves. And maybe that holiday pig.

  • http://twitter.com/MandiMcClure Mandi McClure

    I must confess.  I have similar gloves and just for the simple reason, so that I can text.  Also, I am still sad and appalled that pig is $79.  I may just be at Sears the day after Christmas.

    • Anonymous

      Keep your eye on the pig. I’m certain there will be some available after Christmas.

  • http://itsblogworthy.com Amanda Austin

    Designed by real people for real cyborgs. 

    And you had me at light up pig in a santa hat :)

    • Anonymous

      I’d rather buy it if it was designe by real cyborgs FOR real people. I’m sure they are much better designers.

  • http://reallywhatwerewethinking.blogspot.com Dana K

    Lol that pig is gloriously tacky.

    • Anonymous

      As is much of North Carolina…

  • http://www.domesticextraordinaire.com domestic extraordinaire

    I am laughing so hard that I woke up the dog…..and she sleeps through everything except the can opener.

    • Anonymous

      Welcome to my world :)

  • http://twitter.com/amyeover Amy Oversmith

    I got that email about how Sears supports the troops (something about going out of the way to treat their National Guard employes who have been deployed well), so I have a new-found respect for the company – which may have decreased just a little due to that out-of-date tax poster. Hilarious!

  • Melisa – Mommy This and That

    Yes, Sears seems to be the land that time forgot! It doesn’t matter which one you go to or where.

    The holiday pig…I’m on the fence about that! Seems like it would get a few laughs but the price is a bit much!

  • http://twitter.com/MommaBeThyName Momma

    The ads? Wow. Just wow.

  • http://twitter.com/thehhhousewife Claire

    I feel the need to clarify that my reaction to the holiday pig (that it was what was missing from my holiday decor) was completely sarcastic. It is the weirdest thing. 

  • http://twitter.com/ByWordsMusings Nicole Morgan

    Outrageously happy sounds like a plan xxx

  • SGalloway

    I know this is an old thread but we do live on a farm n raise pigs… so I find this perfect to add to our farm scene…..so snort anort

    • FadraN

      Truth be told, as I look at this 2 years later, I think that pig is darn cute.