I love shopping. And I also get a pretty big kick out of ridiculous things. I actually have a whole folder on my iPhone for apps I deem “Ridiculous” (iFart being one of them). But when you combine shopping and ridiculousness, it can be quite entertaining.
On Monday, I went to Sears for the afternoon. I’m not a regular Sears shopper but I was on the lookout for a deal on a dishwasher (that I didn’t find there, by the way). However, I absolutely love Lands End and there were some pretty good sales going on in Sears on the Lands End merchandise. I highly recommend their down vests for both grown-ups and kids.
Because I hadn’t been shopping there in so long, it was a real novelty. I saw some interesting products, some of which I tweeted about, and I found the land the time forgot.
There were the fashion faux pas like:
The fingerless gloves that allow you to text while keeping your hands warm (shhhh, I actually want these).
The mock turtlenecks I dubbed “Clothes I hope I never wear.” What I enjoyed were the comments I got from people saying “That looks like something my Aunt Judy would wear” or “My mother-in-law owns every single one of these.” Do me a favor. If you ever see me wearing one of these, shoot me dead.
Then I progressed to upstairs in the store. Or what I like to call bizarro world. En route to the potty, I spotted a few catchy advertising posters on the wall.
You say fashion eyewear. I say glasses. But one thing we can all agree on, the 90s are over. That kid is probably on her third marriage by now. I suspect this ad was a response so as not to be outdone by the tax department…
My reaction to this one? “The 80s called and they’re ready to do your taxes” to which my favorite response was, “Back taxes, maybe.” That sure is a cool monitor.
And then things got really strange. I visited the Christmas decorations department. Most of it was regular ol’ straight up Christmas stuff. I enjoyed it. Until I saw this.
That’s right. It’s a holiday pig. And it can be YOUR holiday pig for just $79.99. What was so bizarre was the reactions I got from people. They ranged from, “OMG, are you serious?” to “OMG, I want that!” I’m still not sure what I think about a Santa Pig.
But the shopping madness continued when I spent my birthday doing what I love to do. Shop. It’s not all about the buying for me (although I did complete most of my son’s Christmas shopping). It’s about the browsing and looking and random ideas that pop into my head as a result.
A quick trip to Bed Bath & Beyond gave me pause when I came across two products. The first was a set of headphones on clearance. What caught my eye was the packaging.
These are headphones that will apparently take the place of therapy. As the “testimonial” on the package states, “MyZone saved our relationship!” I’m thinking that if headphones are all it took to “save” your relationship, you might not really be ready for a real relationship. Just saying.
I rounded the corner and I saw more. This is the really funny part of this next picture. I have absolutely no recollection of what product this was part of. It might have been a laptop desk. I can’t be sure.
What caught my eye is that a new feature of this product is that it was designed for real people by real people. Was is designed by robots previously? Was it designed for robots? Maybe they had a lab of dogs doing the design. And they mistakenly designed it for rabbits. In any case, the human factor is back.
Needless to say, I’ve been enjoying m holiday shopping. People are stressed and cranky and ever using pepper spray. I prefer to simply find the humor all around me. And every once in a while, amid the laughs, I find something that makes my shopping trip worthwhile.
May you be outrageously happy this holiday season!