When I was at a loss for something to write, I one day came up with the idea for a quick list of things. Any things. I thought it would be a fun little Friday post. Quick to write, fun to read. I think I’ve talked about cars and movies and actresses.
I haven’t done it in a while but was recently thinking about all the awful jobs I’ve had in my illustrious career. Although, let’s be honest, most “jobs” along the way have nothing to do with your career. It’s simply a way to make money.
I’ll admit that I have always looked for the least amount of work for the most amount of money. Or something that I thought would be easy and/or fun. Usually, I was wrong. Waaaaaay wrong. So I thought I’d share five of my worst jobs ever. These aren’t “Dirty Jobs” or the world’s deadliest jobs. They’re just plain awful.
1. Telemarketer
I’m sorry to say that, yes, I did call your house, probably during dinner, to sell you season tickets to the Cleveland Playhouse. You probably rejected me pretty quickly. And if you were in a particularly bad mood, you probably asked for my phone number so you could call me and interrupt my dinner.
It was a thankless job that had me calling a list of Cleveland residents, usually low income, and convincing them they needed season tickets to the theater. And when they objected for financial reasons, it was my job to help them finance the option.
I guess that’s why I only lasted 4 days.
2. Fast Food Worker
I was in college and decided to stay on campus for the summer and I couldn’t find a job anywhere. I mean, ANYWHERE. I even applied at the McDonald’s at the mall and still couldn’t get a job. Maybe it’s because the application asked for the name of my guidance counselor and I simply wrote “I’M IN COLLEGE, YOU IDIOT. JUST GIVE ME THE JOB.” (Not actually true but it’s certainly what I was thinking).
I ended up on the west side of Cleveland where I was hired by Wendy’s after a grueling interview where the fry cook leered at me, looked at my handmade bracelet, and said, “you know you can’t wear that.” My skin crawled at the idea of working with or for this guy. So in a fit of elitism, I never showed up for my first day at work. It was the worst job I never had.
3. Envelope Stuffer
This was another college-era job. It was part of the campus work-study program and I worked in the Office of Annual Giving (or something like that). Back in those days, way before the commonplace of email, we had to solicit donations (or “giving” as fancy institutions like to call it) through the U.S. Postal Service. We had trays and trays sorted by schools, years of graduation, previous donations. And there were about four of us that would spend hours in one room folding letters, matching them to the correctly printed envelope, and stuffing them.
As you can imagine, there was tedium, monotony, boredom, paper cuts, and the incessant bragging of a fellow student who was a pre-med student but was majoring in Music, specifically Organ Performance. I never really could understand how that would lend to her doctoring abilities.
Eventually, the positions were eliminated and I was laid off for the very first time. And then I simply went to the work-study office and got another job.
4. Bus Girl
Want to know the most thankless job in the world? It’s clearing dirty dishes from someone’s table. Because while you’re doing that, you’re also filling in for the server who is supposed to be getting more bread or refills but is instead outside for another cigarette break. All for the wonderful wage of $2.50 per hour, plus 8% of the server’s tips.
My favorite days were buffet days where I had extra dishes to clear while the servers would bring the drink orders and say “Y’all go help yourself!” And yep. I still got only 8%.
I was too timid to say anything but it’s probably for the best. The restaurant was full of married losers that were sleeping with each other, impregnating the servers, and dealing cocaine. I was more worried about getting caught sneaking a warm blueberry muffin from the bread drawer.
5. Teacher
Yes, I was an honest-to-God teacher. I taught 7th grade Earth Science. Maybe it was my inexperience as a first year teacher. Maybe it was my age (I was only 23). Maybe it was the school district I was in (which border the ghetto of Cleveland). Whatever it was, it made my life a year of living hell.
I woke up every morning whispering to myself “I hate my job, I hate my job” as if somehow that would ease the pain of the day.
It was bad enough that I had to be at work at the ungodly hour of 7:15am (I’m so not a morning person) but then I had to deal with backstabbing co-workers and scary children, some of which I’m sure are now in prison. I spent most of the day yelling and counting down the days until the end of the school year. When it finally came, I packed up my stuff, left town, and never looked back to the world of education.
To all the teachers out there, I salute you. That’s one hell of a hard job.
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Now I know you’re dying to tell me about your worst job. Leave me a comment because I’m SURE you can top mine. And it will give me some fun reading for the weekend!
14 comments
Those are some terrible jobs. My worst was bank teller. It taught me never to get between people and their money.
Ah yes. Now I remember a good addition to the list. I was a Pharmacy Technician. Never get between crazy people and their meds!
I spent a summer working out of a motel doing phone sales for photo packages. I was really bad at it. Then I did a stint at Wendy’s (I actually showed up) that was so terrible I think I’ve blocked most of it. Next I tried a deli – Wendy’s was better – and finally I spent the next 17 years in retail bookselling. Actually, when I write it all out like that, it seems as though I’ve never had a job that wasn’t bad. Hmmm…
That’s why it’s called “work” 😉
Those are some terrible jobs! I think everyone should do food service and retail at least once. They are horribly thankless and underpaid, but it really makes you grateful when you finally get a non-terrible job!
I will tell you that having worked both food service and retail has given me sooo much perspective!
We have both enjoyed several of the same “awful jobs”. I lasted one evening as a telemarketer, I last two shifts standing over a fast food fryer. And I spent six months playing the role of “worst waitress ever”. All of which made me appreciate a “real job” when I finally got one – tho’ I came to hate that first “real job” shortly after I deposited my first measly pay.
I’ve decided I just wasn’t cut out for working. The whole schedule and punctuality just aren’t really me.
I have had some crazy jobs! Probably the weirdest was when I was a Census taker in 2000 driving around Rural NC asking people how much money they made each year. My first layoff was a summer temp job in high school at a factory that assembled the wiring for ambulance radios. I am pretty sure our “program ended” because we liked to sing in harmony while we melted rubber sleeves over the wires. True.
Now I know all about your factory job but I forgot about the weirdest. I had to drive all over Wake County counting soda machines and writing down what sodas they sold. Paid well though!
Lol. Actually Except teaching, i can say that others jobs were bad. I used to be a teacher and i just love this job. If you are doing it for earning purpose than it isn’t good. You don’t earn too much but the main advantage of teaching is that you can increase your knowledge more and teaching someone is the best way to revise your lectures.
I love to teach and actually do it a lot in my every day life, just not as a profession. Teaching 11-13 year olds ruined it for me. They are so difficult!
I used to do TEFL teaching and I love it, but my last job was a secondary/high school teacher and it is absolutely the worst job I have ever had. Worse that when I was in retail and much worse than when I was an envelope stuffer. 11-16 year olds are the most ungrateful and spiteful beings in existence and the useless parents just defend their behaviour and do not support the discipline and order that the school tried to instill. It has driven me to depression and I absolutely hate it.
I taught for two years— WORST TWO YEARS OF MY LIFE!!! 😀
I really appreciated your article. I was laid-off after my second year– you can add NO job security whatsoever to that list– and it is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I had to deal with parents yelling at me for their child getting a ‘C’ all the time… Absolutely ridiculous. Not to mention all of the extra time spent outside of school planning, etc… You essentially have no life outside of teaching, and all of the testing and rules these days are absurd.