My weeks have been so crazy lately. Sometimes I’m swamped with writing. Sometimes I’m swamped with being a wife and mother and household manager. Sometimes it’s both and I’m not always the best at keeping balanced.
This week, I’ve had a lot of frustration with my beautiful little boy. My pride and joy. Who makes me crazy. He’s so wonderful and smart and sweet and special and annoying and talkative and just NONSTOP. If you’re a mom, I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about. If so, maybe you’ll cut me some slack this week.
Ahhhh, motherhood. Or is it really childhood that makes me sigh. I try hard to be a good mother and I clearly recognize the moments where I’m not. But lately, I just don’t know.
My son is 4 and is full of just about every fear known to man. I know this and I get this. I have many phobies myself. And I also know this is the age when monsters and so on become real fears of theirs. I try to understand. But after the 46th request that I accompany him to the bathroom because he’s afraid of monsters in there, I get exhausted.
And it’s not just monsters.
It’s getting his nails clipped. It’s not that he doesn’t like getting them clipped. It’s that he’s terrified of it. He doesn’t like his nails clipped and will NOT let me clip his toes. What do I do?
He’s terrified of every speck of dirt and flying insect in the sky. He’s not of fan of bugs and I can’t blame him. I don’t like them either. I have my own phobias. But last week, he got sting by a yellow jacket and that has sent him off the deep end. He gets paranoid by everythiing posssible thing he thinks could be a bug. It’s exhausting to try to calm him down all the time.
And then tonight, it was his hair. I told him I just wanted to trim above his ears. I always give him advanced notice. I planned to do a quick trim while he was in the tub so he could rinse off the hair right away. The result? He freaked out when he saw the scissors. Totally inconsolable even though I’ve given him tons of haircut before. I lost my sympathy and patience and yelled at him. He cried. I got him ready for bed and hugged him until he fell asleep.
Sometimes, it’s so damn hard to be a parent.