Writing on Sunday mornings feels so different than Saturday night. I’m glad to have some quiet time in the house to be able to stop, think, dump my thoughts for just 5 minutes. And then it’s back to clean up. You’ll know why when you read my stream of consciousness this morning.
Here’s my 5 minute brain dump…
Yesterday, we celebrated a big birthday in my household. On Friday, my husband turned 50 years old. Personally, I think there are a few birthdays worth celebrating: 1, 10, 13, 16, 18, 21, and then every decade thereafter (30, 40, 50, etc.). And I know this because, while I bought my husband what I considered a super present for his 40th birthday, he later revealed that he wanted a party. I’m not sure if he was joking or totally serious. So I made it up to him and planned a “surprise” party for his 42nd birthday. Because who would expect that for 42?
With 50 approaching, I asked him multiple times what he would like to do. I knew it was going to be an expensive birthday no matter how we celebrated so I gave him some options. A party: party at home, family party, adult party, a trip by himself, a trip with me, a trip with the family, a trip with his brother, and so on. And this, my friends, is where I think my husband and I differ.
I think he would have been thrilled to go buy a thing. Like another motorcycle or something crazy. Instead, he settled for a big bash here at the house. No, I wasn’t crazy enough to cook. I had it catered and didn’t attempt to make it a surprise. We had about 50 guests which sounds perfect for a 50th birthday.
Today, as my husband is snoozing away (trust me, he needs it) and I’m doing my typical after-party clean-up, I think that while the party was fun, it’s not what I would want for my 50th birthday. I’m more about the experience, whether it’s by myself, with my family, or with close friends. I’d love a crazy spa getaway or an adventure in Iceland or a Caribbean cruise or even exploring the wilds of Alaska or Maine. Parties are fun for someone else but not for me. I’m still planning what’s to come.
My husband would love a big party. I know I’ll have some planning to do for his upcoming 40th. It stresses me out to even think about it. For mine, I’d love to go to a yoga retreat.
I’m happy to ATTEND the party but not be the center of attention. Yoga retreat sounds awesome and take my advice – get the party catered!
I had originally planned a huge shindig for my fiftieth birthday. i wanted to shave my head, ask my friends to bring me wigs, and allow my hair to grow into its white-grey glory. My daughter was horrified. She didn’t want to be the only one among her friends to have a grey haired Mom! How humiliating! How horrifying! How over the top and weird and why couldn’t I be like everyone else’s Mom! Well, she is going away to college this Fall and I think…. a modified version is in order. Especially since grey hair is “in” now.
By the way, Fadra – I am with you on experiences. I’ve always felt birthdays are our own to create. Be true to yours… unless your ornery child intervenes. My son has given me permission to do whatever I want with my hair. And believe it or not, I want my children to feel comfortable with themselves and with me, so that’s why I didn’t follow through with my plan. My middle child has enough to contend with as me as a mom. Might as well make something simple.
It took me years to realize the disappointment was my own on my birthday. Now, I don’t wait for my husband to plan to perfect meal. I announce where and when we’re going out to dinner! As for your hair… GO FOR IT!
I am totally like you. Actually, my husband is too. For both our 40ths (two years apart), we went on trips. When each turned 50, we were gone again (both time to Italy, but different parts). I know who would want a party. My mom! She’s the party person in our family. Hope it wasn’t too messy!
We’re still kind of cleaning up after the fact but only because our trash and recycling bins are overflowing! I definitely have a trip in mind for my next big birthday. I don’t ave the destination yet but it will be fabulous!
I LOVE a great party BUT I am all about the experience too. A spa day, a trip to Vegas, or a week on an island sound like perfect birthday “parties” to me!!!
Don’t get me wrong, Kendra. I love ATTENDING a great party. Planning it isn’t so bad either. But being at the center of it all? No thanks. I’d rather take that spa day 🙂