I’m no athlete. And I don’t pretend to be one. I don’t even pretend to aspire to be one. But I am tired of being flabby and I’m tired of getting winded more than I should.
When I step on the scale, I’m roughly 10 pounds more than I should be and don’t even ask me about inches. But that 10 pounds sticks with me. I imagine myself carrying two 5 pound bags of flour around with me all day and think about how much better I would feel if I could just set them down.
And that’s why I want to lose 10 pounds. However, I’ve also learned that there are some things I’m just not willing to compromise. I don’t want to give up carbs (and yes I’m okay with eating the “healthy carbs”). I don’t want to give up wine. And I don’t want to walk around hungry.
Is that so bad? I have a glass of wine, not a bottle. I don’t eat fast food. I don’t keep junk food in the house. I just like to eat and I’m working on portion sizes. So I’ve made myself a promise to step up my fitness. Regardless of any change on the scale, I know I’ll feel better when I’m doing some sort of exercise on a regular basis.
But the fitness gods must be against me. Maybe it’s because I’ve refused to give up wine. Or cheese. Or pasta. Maybe this is their way of getting back at me because I could swear there’s some higher power trying to keep me from exercising.
Here are just some of the fitness obstacles I’ve dealt with over the past year:
I decided to start running so I signed my husband and myself up for a St. Patrick’s Day 5K. On the very day I decided that I was ready to commit to training, I headed to the basement with my iPad, ready to watch my very first episode of Orange is the New Black, and… the treadmill was dead.
(My husband did eventually fix our ten year old treadmill by soldering in new capacitors but not until long after the race).
After a few trips to the gym, I was still ready for that 5K with hardly any training at all. During the race, my husband herniated a disc in his neck. This was our first 5K together, which I’m pretty sure will be our last. There went my running partner. And my motivation.
Until my neighbor asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. So we strapped on our helmets and headed to the nearby hilly neighborhoods for a good hour long workout. Soon after, my lady parts developed an insufferable situation that I shant go into. But needless to say, I’m not keen on hopping on the bike again anytime soon.
It’s okay, though, because I was still tracking all of my daily movements and I was sure that I would just stay active and get in all my steps every day with my new Misfit Shine.
I bought the Misfit Shine for my husband for Christmas who wasn’t too keen on it (although I was – I was the one who picked it out!). So we decided I would keep the Shine while he got a different fitness tracker. And within 3 months, that quarter-sized fitness tracker was gone. It’s still in my house somewhere because bluetooth picked it up. But without it being on my person, I was no longer able to track my fitness.
Until I got a new one.
At the Mom 2.0 Summit, I won a new Misfit Shine with a wristband! This was going to keep that tracker secure! And then the battery died. (Don’t worry – it took a few weeks but I finally replaced it).
And then summer arrived and I decided that it was too hot to really care. As you might imagine, I gained even more weight and as I glanced at the calendar with three upcoming events, I thought it might be time to try to motivate myself again.
So I committed to working out for at least an hour every day. Nothing too strenuous because that would be demotivating but something that would wear me out a little a give me a few sore muscles.
Down to the treadmill again. This time, I had queued up my latest audiobook and was determined to get lost in the words and walk until I forgot I was on a treadmill. Except that when I turned it on… it was dead again.
We’ve since found a workaround but that was definitely a setback.
I wasn’t ready to give up though. I charged up my iPad again, ready to watch Orange is the New Black now that I’m more than halfway through the first season and… the treadmill was working! But Netflix wasn’t. For whatever reason, Netflix refused to connect to the internet and I ended up watching a second rate show on Amazon Instant Video.
My next plan was going to involve technology that I knew would be working. I was going to power up my Nintendo Wii U and go back to the basics. I was ready to try Wii Fit again. Except the Wii U wasn’t working.
My kid plays this thing every single day. And the day I go to use it, it doesn’t work?? Turns out our latest puppy, Layla, had decided to chew through the cord. No worries. My husband of all trades pulled our his soldering kit and fixed the cord within 15 minutes.
After about 30 minutes of the Wii Fit exercises, I decided to finish up with a good cardio workout and put in my copy of Just Dance 4. My heart rate was up, the sweat was pouring down, and then I make one fatal mistake. I selected a Britney Spears song and the disk froze up. I took it out and cleaned it and put it back in. It froze again. Not wanting to be defeated, I put in Just Dance 3 and still picked a Britney Spears song (take THAT, Wii U).
And I haven’t even touched on my broken toe or my aching sciatic nerve because it makes me feel like I’m about 10 years older than I am.
Instead, I’ve decided that the fitness gods can just stay angry with me because I’m not giving up. Not yet anyway.