Sometimes I have to blog about blogging. Realizing that not all of you who graciously come and read here every so often are actually bloggers, I get how the whole blogging about blogging thing can make for some dull reading. But stay with me because I’d love to hear your opinion on this.
If you’re a blogger, you probably already know this. But for those people outside of the blogging world, I try to explain that not only are bloggers a community of their own but we’re also a little subculture. We have the celebrities (think Dooce or the Pioneer Woman), the bad girls (who leave no stone unturned and no curse word unwritten), the popular girls (fill in your own blanks), the wannabes, the groupies, the hangers on, and so on.
As with any work environment, you have all sort of personalities. There are really nice people and climbers and just plain old jerks. The same is true for blogging. Except it’s different.
In a more traditional work environment, there’s usually some sort of hierarchy. There might be an executive leadership team, followed by senior managers and middle managers and supervisors and the all-important worker bee. Everyone usually knows where they stand and where they want to go. The hard part is figuring out how to get there.
But blogging is nothing like this. There are no real bosses or managers. It’s every man (or woman) for himself. And we don’t all know where we want to go. Or can go. It’s like the Wild West.
Or is it?
Trying to find some sort of order in this world, I started thinking about how bloggers are often like real estate agents. We’re all independent contractors that may be friends with one another and may work together, but ultimately we’re all competing for the same business.
It’s still different though. We’re not all selling something. And we certainly haven’t all taken a standardized exam that awards us a license to blog.
Then I started thinking about the entertainment industry. I minored in theater so it’s a world I know and can relate to. And I started seeing some of the similarities.
You can be an overnight sensation or have a slow, steady climb to success. Like actors.
You can be a great writer that goes completely unnoticed because no one reads your blog. Like great actors in indie movies that never see the light of day.
You can write a horrible post that people absolutely love. You can write a darling little piece that people could care less about. Think about how those awful blockbuster movies are always so popular even if the acting and writing are terrible.
Let’s take it a step further and think about the qualifications for blogging and for acting.
Here’s an example of what I’m getting at.
Lindsey Lohan and Meryl Streep are both considered actresses.
That’s it. They are both defined by the same word, the same profession. Actress.
Behind that word, you’ll find one woman who attended the Yale School of Drama, has won three Oscars, and has mastered virtually every accent on Earth, all while raising three daughters. Behind that word, you’ll also find one woman who started as a child model, won a Teen Choice Award, and has now become virtually unemployable, all while creating a rap sheet that rivals Snoop Dogg.
The same is true for bloggers. Some are experienced professionals. Some work hard, play fair, have ethics, build relationships, and generally still stay true to the nice people that they are. Others… not so much.
As in the entertainment industry, you’ll find people who have developed overinflated sense of ego, an erratic temperament, and a strong sense of entitlement.
Now, as far as I know, nobody has specifically requested they be given Cristal, Fiji water, and a bowl of ONLY green M&Ms back stage at a blog conference. But I do hear plenty of other stories.
Some are more widely known and have become legend (like the woman who demanded that she get a pair of free Crocs at a conference). Others are discussed in hushed tones in private settings.
Frankly, it’s starting to get pretty irritating.
I hear about bloggers who steal things off of sponsor displays. Bloggers who request review items and never review them – but still find time to sell them on Craigslist. Bloggers who complain about the steps required of them to secure their travel documents for a fully funded trip. Bloggers who only talk to brands on Twitter when they want to complain about something (yes, we all know you’re fishing for something free). Bloggers who are working for a brand and trash that brand directly in front of the brand’s reps.
Oh, the stories I could tell.
I once bought a domain with the idea of an anonymous website built solely for the purpose of calling bloggers out on all the things they’re doing wrong. I still fantasize about this idea but I’ve shot it down for several reasons.
First of all, it’s not my place to be the judge, jury, and executioner of any one person. Second, I’d rather focus on the good things in the blogging world rather than the bad. And third, because I know from my own personal experience, what goes around comes around. Every dog has his day (or something like that).
So then I have to ask myself, why did I write this piece in the first place?
Mostly I’m hoping it will be a little food for thought. Maybe at least an appetizer for thought. We all need to stop once in a while and reflect on our own behavior and decide if we are the people we want to be.
And also to say to the world of brands and public relations professionals, we’re not all like that. Promise.
126 comments
So well said! I love the entertainment industry comparison. Spot on. I am with you on focusing on the positive and trying to run my own race. At the end of the day, I only have myself staring back at me in the mirror. I’d like to be proud of who I am.
I have another post in my head that echoes that same thought. Hoping to get it out on Wednesday.
{slow clap} I’m glad you wrote this. It’s an apt description to say bloggers are like actors. I think you can take it a step further and say that the whole industry (including some of the PR and marketing firms, brands, and businesses that work with bloggers) are like the entertainment industry.
The main difference I see is that in blogging we are typically our own bosses and have to make our own path while actors have a system in place that is somewhat easier to understand. They have people they have to answer to (their director, the studio, their fans) or people they work with who know the business (everyone from PR to stylists). While some bloggers do answer to their sponsors and fanbase, many don’t realize they are responsible for that.
In any case as you said, there will always be people who are ‘famous’ in our circles, others who work hard and are well-respected, and those that are looking for any ‘role’ they can find. While it seems the latter type of blogger is becoming more prevalent, it shouldn’t be a reflection on the industry as a whole.
I so AGREE and wish that bloggers did understand their responsibilities. As with all industries there are the good, bad and the ugly as well as the deserving and unrecognized. Let’s hope the deserving, unrecognized and ethical keep the faith and find the audience and inspiration they need to continue to grow.
Don’t they say the cream always rises to the top? I still believe that.
I almost mentioned the whole “entourage” aspect because there are bloggers with those too. So many similarities from dysfunctional family backgrounds to mentally unstable people (I’m serious! It’s prevalent in the acting industry!)
Maybe the answer is that we all need managers and agents. Or just somebody in charge 🙂
Very well said, my friend.
Thanks, doll.
So well done! Clearly you are in the Streep category with this talent.
Aw thanks! Meryl Streep is one of my personal heroes! Clearly, Lindsey is not.
Bravo!
Very well said!
Love everything about this post, Fadra. We can all only hope that we’re a fraction of being a Streep in this blogging world.
I’d love an Oscar in this industry but I’d be perfectly happy with a People’s Choice Award!
I think it’s about authenticity. I treat my blog (commenters, readers, companies, etc) like I would someone I’m speaking with in my home. It’s about conversation for me and I blog by the golden rule. Do unto others…
It helps me that I’m not monetized. I do few reviews. And I don’t really blog “by the rules.” I suppose I’m like the actor participating in community theater just for the love of it.
That’s what makes the difference between a Streep and a Lohan, I think. I think Meryl would still be acting even if there was no money in it for her. Because it’s a part of who she is. Acting is like breathing for her, just as writing and connecting is for us bloggers.
You, clearly, are drawn to blogging and have a passion for it. And after meeting you at SocialLuxe last year, I can attest that you are as genuine in person as you are online. Keep blogging the way you do. Hopefully people will continue to be drawn to you and others who blog with authenticity and the others will be choked out all on their own.
We’re clearly birds of a feather. This past weekend, we were asked in a group setting to define what our values are in blogging and I immediately mentioned the golden rule. It’s a good value for life in general. And thanks for the compliment and encouragement, Ashley Judd 😉
BRAVO!! It is weird that I am standing and applauding at my computer? Having just spent the weekend at a blog conference where a lot of this was discussed, this post is very timely. We also choose to honor the positive and encourage the community aspect of blogging. The support. The validation. That is what matters most, right?-Ashley
It’s only weird if other people are at your house and see you doing that. Would love to know what conference you attended. Yes, focus on the positive but still keep your pulse on what goes on behind the scenes. You want to know who it’s safe to turn your back on and who it’s not.
Hear, hear! I’m so with you, so tired of the drama and the unprofessionalism. In fact, I just wrote about this on Friday: http://www.socialmediaexplorer.com/content-marketing-2/highs-and-lows-in-the-parent-blogging-world/. Absolutely love your take on it and the comparison to actors. So true!
Just commented on your post and as you know, it’s not about the numbers of people that behave badly. It’s the perception these people give to those outside of our industry of what we’re really like.
We can only hope that brands recognize that it’s the individual and not the profession.
I love this hard. And I also blogged about blogging today. Discontent seems to be running amok in the blogosphere lately – for legitimate reasons.
Also, there’s already a site like the one you mentioned – it’s called Get Off My Internets.
Oh yes. Bloggers HATE GOMI and won’t give it the time of day. A couple of times a year I check it just to see if anyone has written anything about me. I’ve never been mentioned so either I’m not popular enough or I’m doing something right. Or they can’t remember how to spell my name.
Really late reply, but it’s probably because you are not an ass.
I applaud you for calling out bad blogging behaviour. It makes me cranky, and I wish there was a way to get it to stop.
Yep. Cranky, irritated, annoyed. I sometimes go on Twitter rants when I can’t take it anymore. I never name names but it feels good to get it off my chest.
Agreed. 100%
Right on the money!
This is beyond terrific. As someone else with a theatre background, allll of those points (and qualifications) rang true.
Oh, and the list could go on. Think of the entourages and the scandals and disgrace. The people who age well and those that don’t. Personally, I’d be happy just making cool indie films and earning a decent living.
Here’s the problem, as I see it. Blogging has turned into a pyramid scheme, if you will. Companies have risen up to help ‘bloggers be successful’, taking money from bloggers and brands alike. And women, the gullible souls that they are, pay money to be what? Be popular, get a vacuum cleaner, tweet about diapers? Many people are getting rich off the backs of women, selling the idea of ‘blogging as a business’. It’s so fake, that I cringe each time I watch women put ‘PR Friendly’ in their bio.
The problem is the term. Is a blogger a writer or sales rep for whatever company will give them some tidbit of something?
Me? I’m a writer. Not playing this game.
Most bloggers? Couldn’t write their way out of a paper bag. With blogs so full of ad links, badges, and sponsored posts I wonder why they even bother putting blogger in their title. Just put ‘Company shill for whatever company will take me today’ in the title and be done with it.
Bloggers are the internet’s Avon lady.
Your blog isn’t changing the world (whether you’re dooce or a nobody), you aren’t going to get rich, and will probably go in the hole if you try to play the game, and sure as hell, NO ONE owes you a thing.
This is the bastion of white, upper class, women who left their careers to take care of their kids (and gods bless you, no judgement on that one), but if you were REALLY an ‘entrepreneur’, you wouldn’t be running a blog.
(Anyone who follows me on twitter will now I have always felt this way, for those of you new to my opinionated ways – I can be nice. Just not on this subject.)
Amy I appreciate that you have your own opinion, but I think you are lumping together many unjustly. I do not disagree that there are some that fit your description, but there are plenty who do not. Also, not all bloggers think they are writers – I am one of them. I am a blogger, NOT a writer.
Really? You are the first person who has actually said that. I think it’s awesome. And how awesome is it that you admit that, because I don’t think some bloggers will. You’re right I am lumping together many awesome women with others not so awesome.
Thanks for the considered response. 🙂
I totally get where you’re coming from. Rarely do people make a career out of blogging. In fact, I wrote a post aimed at my non-blogging friends so they could understand I’m NOT a commissioned salesperson. https://allthingsfadra.com/2013/02/what-i-do-for-a-living/
Personally, I never quit my job to stay at home. I got laid off and wanted to build my career and maintain flexibility. I started my blog as a writing portfolio and one thing led to another. But dammit, I still haven’t gotten a vacuum cleaner out of it.
It has given me credibility in the social media space and for that I (and my bank account) are grateful. But I keep doing it because I enjoy the community and I enjoy the writing.
Whatever the reason people choose to blog, even if it’s for diapers, I just ask that they learn a certain sense of professionalism so that when we all get lumped together as “bloggers” I don’t have to explain someone else’s bad behavior.
A girl can dream, right?
Those damn vacuum cleaners! I think writing changes our little world, and that has to be enough.
But if someone is in the position to define how bloggers are perceived, perhaps they could lead the conversation on different titles for different purposes for blogs. If only I knew someone like that….
I make almost as much as my husband does through my blog while staying home with my five kids and while I might be white my kids aren’t. Lol! To say no one is changing the world isn’t a fair assessment either – my blog led directly to a book deal, I have friends who’s blogs have saved lives, and for some smart business women a blog IS an entrepreneurial stepping stone.
While I disagree with you, this caused me to respond:
“Bloggers are the internet’s Avon lady.”
My mom started working for Avon when I was in Kindergarten to help fund our extracurricular activities. She mainly sold to friends and neighbors. She believed in the products (and still stands by them 100,000%) so it made sense for her. Eventually she went from something very part-time to a full-time job as a manager of the local area’s representatives. She managed hundreds of people at any given time.
Was she selling product? Yes. But she was working for a company she believed in and she really did change people’s lives whether it was the senior citizen who went from living on a fixed income to making 6 figures or the inner city single mom who earned enough to send herself back to college all while learning real-life marketing skills on the job. (those are only two of the many stories that her reps shared with me)
Much like being an Avon lady blogging requires only two things: time and passion. Other skills come in handy of course, and writing and editing skills are high on that list.
Bloggers come in all skill levels just like those Avon reps. Some do it for the free (or discounted) product. Some do it because they want to earn some extra money and the entry bar is low. Others blog because they want to create a platform for other opportunities (of which there are countless). And yes, some write about products, experiences, pop culture, and more for a living and are paid by brands.
In the end I guess I agree that bloggers are like Avon ladies (and men), but not for the reasons you stated.
Amy, I have to disagree. I am a blogger and I am 100% an “entrepreneur.” I bring in the majority of my family income with my adorable little business. People assuming all bloggers are sweet, cute little women who wanted to stay home and wipe butts are EXACTLY the problem with the perception of the industry. And yes, it is an industry. A serious one. It is an industry that is setting the typical expectations about work on their head. I am quite proud to be a part of it. And there are plenty I know who are leaders in this industry who are not white, upper class women. And sorry, some blogs ARE changing the world. Some in big ways, some in small ways. And a blog that allows someone to make their own choices about where/when/how the work IS changing the world on that fact alone. Assuming all of us are company shills is like assuming all cops are bad or all, well, actors are divas.
What do you do, if not blogging? I would love to make some broad brush generalizations about your industry. While we’re doing that and all.
While I agree that you’re generalizing, I can’t say I disagree with you. Then again, I’m also in it for the writing, so my perception is admittedly biased.
I really like your comparison to the entertainment industry. Me and my indie film will be over here in the corner… 😉
Love it. I’ll stick with you and maybe one of these days we’ll get an awesome distribution deal from a major studio 😉
Hehe, sounds like a plan!
Please let me always be humble and grateful!
Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way.
You will always be one of the good ones, Anne.
Back at you. I think it’s important to surround myself with positive people and to be a positive person. Life is too short to be a bitch.
“Life is too short to be a bitch.” – slow clap Anne!
Great post Fadra! I love the comparisons. For the acting it is all in taste though too. While the majority of people think Meryl Streep is great at her job, not everyone does. Just like bloggers, some adore Dooce, others not so much. Regardless of what someone’s preference is though, the bad behavior is truly annoying. I think many of us have wanted to set up an anonymous blog or Twitter account to call people out, we just need to vent. BUT most of us realize that it would just add to the negative drama and would rather spend our time working hard at furthering our own careers rather than dragging someone else down.
You make a great point, Robyn. I recently attended a conference where I listened to a presentation on the Millennials. In one setting, they were asked to name who they most admired and the most common choice was Lindsey Lohan.
I was floored. I’d like to say there’s no accounting for taste but sometimes life just isn’t fair. People don’t always work hard and ethically and yet they still find success. That’s why it’s important to keep checking who you are and make sure you stay true to that.
Though none of us are perfect and we’ve all broken a blogging rule in the past there are some who take pride in breaking the rules. The beggars gross me out and are my least favorite! Now I shall take a deep breath and put me head back in my own little world. Thank you for writing this.
Exactly. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. It’s why I’ll never run around publicly pointing fingers because it would only be a matter of time before it was inadvertently pointed back at me (yes, I make mistakes too!)
Meh, I just write stuff. I like when people think I’m funny. I enjoy meeting other writers. I hate the term ‘mommy blogger’. And that’s pretty much my agenda.
Well, you are funny. And I’ve never called you a mommy blogger so I’d say you’re doing pretty good.
I love this. And thanks for the much-needed dose of perspective. This is why I’m I got into blogging too and why I enjoy it. And lately I feel like I’ve been worrying too much about what other people are doing and where they’re going and losing myself in the process.
Bravo, Fadra!! Clearly you are in the Streep category…. nose to the ground, brilliant content producing and ever supportive. Thanks for writing this.
Aw, thanks, Tonya!
This was a great ‘food for thought’ article and certainly something I have thought about and also witnessed to a certain degree. I truly hope, that I will always stay true to myself and appreciate the little and big things that may come my way because I am a blogger.
I think it starts by being gracious. And there’s a difference being being entitled and knowing what you’re worth. And the difference comes when you stay true to yourself!
LOVE this post. So, so well said.
Thanks, Nicole!
I nearly got up to find a butterknife to slit my wrists midway through this post. The showbiz comparison is painful at best. There are going to be jerks and scammers everywhere you go. Hard for me to swallow, but that’s the truth. After having worked with prisoners and the chemically dependent, it’s surprising how much doesn’t shock you. What I do is keep my head down and keep working as best as I can. Things are annoying, I agree, but other aspects annoy me more than the brand stuff. It is what it is. Blogging in itself is not technically a profession. And perhaps it shouldn’t be until it is considered an industry with defined industry standards.
Ouch! We’ll have to agree to disagree here. I happen to think blogging is profession just as much as being an artist is. You can be an artist but it might take years for you to profit from your art. I consider myself a professional in the blogging industry. But it’s fine if words like “professional” and “industry” don’t ring true for you.
And certainly, nobody’s going to die today because a blogger whined about the free samples they received. My only point is that the sense of entitlement is irritating, as I mentioned, especially when it reflects negatively on others who happen to fall under the same label as them (that being “blogger”).
When I’m irritated, I sometimes write about it and in this case, remind people to check themselves once in a while and remember that the average person on the street could care less about how many Twitter followers they have.
Oh, no! I didn’t mean for you to misunderstand. By NO means did I mean what you or I do isn’t a profession. It is. It’s just not ‘technicallly’ a profession. And I try to be as professional as I possibly can. My issue is: How can you call it a profession when you’re doing what you’ve promised, and other people are selling review items on Craigs List? There are no checks in place. That person can’t get fired, or be held back from stealing more items, or refused a promotion. They can open up another blog, change screen names, change their identity, and do it all over again. I guess I like standardization. Protocol. And there may be silent protocol, which we follow, but for as many people who follow it, there are that many who don’t. That’s what I meant about industry standards.
There are plenty of professions that have hobbyists (artists and musicians, for example) or less than ethical participants in the profession (SEO consultants). That doesn’t stop it from being a profession.
Think I may be letting my personal experience get in the way here. When I had my taxes done, not only were they done improperly, they were also struggling to choose a category for me. I left a solid career in behavioral health that I didn’t have to explain/describe for anyone, and I think that experience stuck with me a bit.
I have the stories too. Lots of them… but I think they might be a part of just working with people, you know? Maybe not. I am just spit ballin’ here: I am finishing up my master’s in marriage and family therapy. I hear just as much entitlement in the mental health field as I do working in social media and micro publishing. Maybe it is a human condition thing? Either way, when I hear someone say, “do you know who I am…” I have to physically pick my jaw up from the follow. My momma taught me better than that.
You’re absolutely right in that there are jerks EVERYWHERE. Trust me. I’ve met them. I think the difference is that in most professions, the hope is that there is a certain level accountability somewhere along the line and that is what is really, really fuzzy in blogging right now.
Mhmm! I wonder how it will evolve. Because social media and blogging is still so unregulated in the sense of practice… I am sure some of the policing falls to us, right? Which is what you are saying… we set the standard and we should raise the bar. I am proud of who I am online and in real life, but that might be because those two parts of me aren’t fractured. I am consistently “awkward hot mess” everywhere 😉
In any industry, and I do believe blogging is an industry – a fledgling one- but still, you have this type of foolery, just like you mentioned in the entertainment industry. But just like any other industry, there’s always a little bit of who you know, a little bit more of how you perform and how you act, and a little bit more of your product and your goals for your career. To me, if you figure out what you want and how you want to go about getting it, try your best not to act a fool (I’ve done it. I’m not perfect.) and stay focused, you’ll get there. If free samples and partying at a conference are what one person wants, that’s okay. If earning significant income and building a career is what someone else wants, that’s okay too. I’m just doing what I do. If that doesn’t work for someone else, that’s cool; I’m not going to hate on them for it.
I’m with you on your points. I’m the last person to preach about only going to conferences to learn. As you know, I enjoy the parties! But not acting like a fool at those parties is where one line could be drawn. There’s no one correct definition of a blogger but because the term is so broad people tend to make sweeping generalizations.
Very interesting post and analogy! I do think one thing to add is that, like some actors, there are “naturals”. So while Meryl absolutely went to an amazing school and is fantastically trained you can also look at someone like Johnny Depp who had zero training and see how talented he is. I only mention this as I think that the same can be said about blogging. It’s all what you bring to the platform 😉
(also – Meryl has 2 daughters and a son.) (I’m a total nerd.) (I KNOW)
Oh, I’m TOTALLY with you. And I certainly didn’t mean to imply that you have to go to Yale to win an Oscar (hello? Marisa Tomei). Some people are total naturals. I was just trying to find opposite ends of the spectrum and those were two names that popped up. It’s not even that Lindsey is a bad actress. She’s just a trainwreck.
I love this. In fact, it’s kinda how I compare my work (yes, blogging is my full time gig). I only have to add that there is a difference between acting entitled and knowing your worth. It’s a fine line and all in how you act. As far as the Meryl’s and Lindsays…the Meryl’s are super and the Lindsays are lame but they both make me uneasy and itchy to be near. I like to stick in the Anne Hathaway group. Classy, Fun and knows how to make a buck.
Aha! I just wrote the same thing in response to someone up above before I saw this. Yes. You have to not what you’re worth but that’s very different than entitlement. In fact, I’d argue that that exactly where professionalism fits in. And I’ll never be a leading lady but I’m happy to be a fine character actress over here in the corner.
I have no idea where I stand in the blogging world. Like Suburban Snapshots stated, I just like to write and share, and I too hate the term “mommy blogger” because of what the impression has become. But I do love this post. It’s late and I’m afraid I’m not making much sense. 😉
It makes total sense. I’ve got a post in my head brewing that I think you’ll like. It’s about how I’m following Tina Fey when it comes to professional development.
Another reason why adore you Fadra.
Fantastic post, great comparison. You are among the Meryl Streep’s, woman!
Stay humble!
I humbly thank you 🙂
I think we’ve all seen how things come full circle in the blogging world. You really can’t be rude. I’m a blogger, not a writer. I blog about what I’m passionate about. It’s taken a long time, but I’ve stopped worrying about what other bloggers are doing. I just do what I love and am lucky to have readers who come back each day. That being said, it’s always disappointing when you meet your blog favs in-real-life and have them shun you. I can’t think of anyone who’d want to have the LiLo label.
You’d be surprised at how many LiLo fans there are out there. However, that doesn’t mean that people want to BE like her. There are writers. There are bloggers. I’m both. I wouldn’t point people to my site as a way to showcase my writing but maybe more of my communication style.
And I don’t really worry so much about it. It more like I’m privvy to a lot of these stories whether I want to hear them or not. Been thinking more about how to limit MY exposure to these types of stories. I think it will help.
While I love your perspective in this post, and all of the other voices chiming in about blogger entitlement, I feel like we’re still not being honest and truthful about what really goes on. Some of “our” people are the ones that are acting entitled. We see it on Twitter. We see it at conferences, but we’re not addressing individuals. Some of us that are guilty of the bad behavior are the ones that are writing about bad blogger behavior. Heck, some of us are commenting on this post. Let’s just stop, y’all. It’s blogging. It’s business. Let’s stop talking about authenticity and start being authentic.
OK, not to be argumentative (sorry Brandi!) but the people I see blogging about these issues and many of the people I see commenting here (I of course don’t know everyone commenting but I do know many people) I know to be very ethical. It feels a little like you are calling us out, but I just don’t know who you mean or exactly what you are trying to say I guess. Or maybe I am missing something here.
Kelby, no apologies needed! I’m certainly not trying to “call anyone out”. I’m not speaking about ethics at all, rather commenting on the sense of entitlement. I’m a blogger, and I’m a “blogger’s blogger”, advocating for content creators to get the best pay, to get opportunities, etc. I think that we know that we have power in our numbers, and with our influence, and there are some bloggers in our community that take advantage of that. I experience it in my work doing blogger outreach, and honestly, it does surprise me when a blogger that I respect turns into the kind of blogger that we are talking about in this post. Even Cecily said in her post last week that she exhibited behavior that was unbecoming. I think many of us have. We are human, that’s okay. We don’t have to be perfect all of the time, but we can admit specifically when we, ourselves, have fallen into the entitlement pool.
Also, that’s a reason why I love Cecily so much. She is so genuine and lay all of their cards out on the table.
Ah, gotcha and that makes perfect sense. And yes, I think we all have bad days. That is for certain. I agree, it is so important to strive to keep entitlement at bay. It can be so tempting!
Brandi, you make a great point. I think the difference is that some people (and this is true in any industry) really don’t care at all how they are perceived. They are entitled, and they see no problem with that.
But we are human. We make mistakes, and sometimes we do so unwittingly and unknowingly. It’s times like that when our community can be a huge help by calling us out (preferably in private) about what we see or perceive.
In other words, I hope you’ll always call me on my own ‘ish. 😉
Actually, @kelbycarr:disqus is one of the best people to give criticism on this subject. It was at Type-A a few years ago where she was speaking about the very same thing. How we often get caught up in our subculture without remember that nobody on the street really cares how many followers you have. I’m never interested in naming names, just interested in raising the standards that all of us are judged by.
Bravo! A few bad seeds can spoil the batch that’s for sure. I love that you compared LL to MS that is hilarious but also true. Being gracious and kind is sometimes lost on people. I very much enjoyed this post!
I think you hit on it for me. This post, frankly, goes beyond blogging for me. Perhaps I feel like the world is all losing a bit of that kindness and gratitude.
I think this summarizes my feelings completely.
Ooh. I like this. I keep going back to what my husband said at the very beginning. “Just keep writing good stuff.” I may never be known as a Streep, but I’d rather be an unknown than a Lohan.
That’s a GREAT motto. Even when I was in the corporate world, I listened to the refrain “nice guys finish last” but I still feel like you just do your best and you’ll reap the rewards.
As an Executive Producer of several syndicated TV and Entertainment shows, I can tell you – once an actor always a waiter…(there are very very few in reality that make it in this business when you count how many people are trying) and perhaps the same rings true for bloggers. (I don’t have a clue). While in our business we deal with millions of eyeballs, internet channels and blogs are vying for hundreds sometimes thousands. The internet and ‘social’ media has brought us a whole new set of wannabe ‘actors’ if you may. We are now faced not only with people who want their 15 seconds of fame, but we also have to deal with their egos too (even though outside of their blogging conference or Twitter feed no one has a clue who they are). It is hard for me to read a lot of these blogs and take any of them seriously – as it is hard for me to watch any of the ‘Real Housewives’ write a book, start a clothing company or even get her own talk show on TV. Where’s the credibility?
Even without any credibility, viewer success still happens now doesn’t it? There are no rules really in the entertainment biz – except that content is king. And sometimes that content is crap – but the masses still flock to it.
I don’t think I have anything to add to this. I think you clearly understand the entertainment industry and it sounds like you have a pretty good clue about blogging. While we’re on the subject, can I pitch you an idea about a bunch of bloggers thrown together in a house…
😉
I’d say you fall graciously into the popular crowd. The kind we like and respect, not the kind we love to hate. I appreciate your final two lines, especially. No, we’re not. Pinky promise.
Thanks, Rajean, but I swear I wasn’t fishing for compliments. I certainly have my flaws too!
Love your analogy, with one caveat: I don’t think anybody confuses Lindsey Lohan with Meryl Streep, or vice versa. I’ve always compared bloggers to musicians, you know, the one-hit-wonders versus the timeless treasures. Great post!
That’s a great point, isn’t it? Meryl doesn’t whine about Lindsey being called an actress. But then again, I bet she has an opinion on her. If only I could get invited to her dinner parties…
A good comparison indeed Fadra. I agree that the blogging industry does have a lot in common with the entertainment industry. Just like with musicians, artists and actors, some find success and darn well deserve it and others, not so much. There is some fair and a lot unfair; there are some great actions, some disappointing actions and some appalling actions.
Honestly, I am just so busy trying to get my work done and my kids looked after, I don’t have time to worry about what others are doing or not doing. I am trying to do my job professionally and hope that people forgive me for my mistakes — cause as a human, I make plenty of mistakes. And some of those mistakes are taking on more than I can get done — so now I have to get back to my over flowing to do list. Cause I have posts to write, photos to edit, clients to meet, emails to answer, children to feed — and I have to volunteer at the school book fair tomorrow… ay yi yi…
I’m taking a cue from you insanely busy and successful bloggers. As my mother-in-law says, it always good to keep a cool head and a dry foot.
I’ve met you. I didn’t particularly even like you, but I agree. A friend told me to read this, and pulled it up on my phone….I make fun of people who do threse pathetic and weird needy things ALL OF THE time….
I’ve been to conferences and experienced this. People are obnoxious, narcissistic, and self important. I know this! People who steal ideas, borrow thoughts, and beg for attention.
For a hand out, a free gift.
Disgusting.
Kudos for calling them out.
It’s true. All of it.
Bitches, cut the shit.
You make some good points, but unfortunately posts like this is just preaching to the proverbial choir. Those who really need to read it and do some self-reflection, don’t. Yes, I understand that this sometimes needs to be said, but I think we’re at the point where if people see it happening, point it out directly and politely. Maybe not a popular point of view. Or, maybe chatting to the PR reps with a “Geez, I hope you know that not all bloggers are like that!” if you collectively witness such behavior. I don’t know if it’s true, but I heard rumors at BlogHer NYC that some people who aren’t even bloggers paid the $99 just to walk the expo hall and get “free” stuff. Behavior like that isn’t going to be changed with a blog post, unfortunately.
Yes, you’re right. The people that I would WANT to read this post probably won’t and even if they did, they’d probably have the inability to recognize themselves in this light. But sometimes, blogging is way of getting it out there. Maybe everybody feels the same way but for me, it helps to punctuate my built-up feelings of frustration so I can simply move on. BTW, I was at BlogHerNYC and it was pretty bad. There were certainly people there that “were thinking about starting a blog” but frankly I can’t say if they were going after the free stuff or if it was more seasoned bloggers.
So you get it. You said it a little more directly than I would but you pretty much captured my sentiment.
And hey, I don’t expect everyone to like me (I’ve often said that people generally really like me or really don’t like me – no lukewarm opinions) but I’m not really sure why you had to preface your comment with it.
I love how you compared this space to the Wild West, only not. It’s clear that there is a growing divide amongst those who treat this space professionally and those who lack decorum. Like you, I just wonder where we go from here.
LOVE THIS x
Very well said, and I love the comparison to actors and the acknowledgement of the different groups (great but unrecognised, popular poor posts and fast/slow successes).
It’s true we bloggers are like any other groups of people – some of us are nice, some quiet, some loud, some polite, some rude, etc. And like many groups, it is the vocal sub-group that gets noticed so there are plenty more ‘good’ bloggers than ‘bad’ but the ‘bad’ get more attention which makes it look like there are lots of them.
If msot of us keep doing the right thing, we’ll have good blogs to read and can keep the community sustainable.
I’ve been mentioning the actor comparison during compensation discussions for a while (“scale” doesn’t prevent Meryl Streep from making oodles of money; nor does it prevent Natalie Portman from taking less for an indie project)…and I think you are right that it fits here, too. It is frustrating for some bloggers who are working hard to see the bad apples still get work but the important thing is to just keep figuring out what we personally want to do and to get there. And as more of us move into managing campaigns and advising on projects, we can support the bloggers who we know are hard workers and refuse to collaborate with / recommend / hire bloggers who are unprofessional (or just plain obnoxious).
A theater minor as well, and a veteran of the entertainment industry (before I gave it all up for the ultra glam life of a suburban mom), I love your actor-blogger analogy.
I had a bit of a blogger’s crisis the end of last year, then I allowed myself to take a step back, reassessed my personal & professional goals, and promised myself to not compare my race to anyone else’s. Attending Blissdom really helped reaffirm those promises and make a few new ones for myself.
Never been a fan of Lohan so I’m on team Streep! Well said, Fadra, well said! 🙂
Blogging is like any profession- there are professionals and there are not-so-professionals. Eventually (at least I hope so) all the not-so professionals fade into the darkness and are only remembered in one of those “do you remember that blogger…” moments where their worst atrocities are relived by other bloggers sitting around.
What you said… exactly. The lack of professionalism lies everywhere but when we’re all technically self-employed the unprofessionals aren’t going to gain any perspective when their annual review time comes around – because there isn’t one!
Having worked for a major Fortune 50 company who leveraged the support of bloggers for years, I can say that all of what you reference here is true. MOST of the bloggers out there are wonderful but as with any group, there are some who can really create a bad name for the rest.
Great post. What a great analogy to the entertainment industry. My husband spent a very brief time in the industry in LA so I totally get it. He got out when he realized that it’s not a sustainable venture if you have to provide for a family. Blogging could be the same…am I willing to do this as a hobby for years and years w/o a substantial payout? B/c that is is very possible and many actors do just that. They have gigs here and there but keep their day jobs b/c it’s not enough to live on. I guess all bloggers have to ask themselves if they really love it or has it become a burden. If they really love it then are they okay w/ just being a unknown actor, extra in movies or having small roles here and there? B/c most of us won’t reach Meryl Streep status.
Wow, I just came across your blog from another blogger sharing. I am a blogger as well and thanks speaks volumes! Thank you for writing it – great food for thought. I loved the illustrations you used to describe bloggers to the entertainment business!
This industry is always changing so I’m hoping (fingers crossed) that perhaps behavior has changed (or is changing) in the year since I wrote this. Thanks for stopping by!
Thank you for posting this and it was very well written. As a blogger who has just broken out on her own I find myself “finding” myself in the blogging world. The one thing I want to make sure of is that I am true to myself and don’t fall into the old clique’s. I have made my husband promise that if I start to slip he has the right to reign me in. The important thing is that I am a woman of honor and someone my husband is proud to call his wife and my children their mother. As a Christian woman, it is important that Christ shine in everything I do. I have done things for “Free” – that other bloggers would chastise me for doing since they would want to get paid. I, however, felt God telling me that is what I was to do. I don’t always know why but I have learned that when God speaks I need to listen. I know by following God’s plan he will guide and provide for me long after material things are gone. I pray that those that come to my blog see this in me and don’t ever classify me as a blogger who feels entitled.
The one mistake I think people make is demanding payment for everything they do. I’ve done plenty of pro bono work (sounds better than free) because it was something that I believed in or it felt like a great opportunity. And that has lead to OTHER opportunities that paid very well! Follow your heart, be yourself, and the right people will find you.
Well put, Fadra. I really like your comparison as well, to actresses. On the flip side, I have felt like a girl at a sorority rush party, hoping the brands (the sorority to join)would in fact invite me back to work with them!
I think we’ve all felt a sense of, “ooh, how do I get to work with that brand? how did she get to work with that brand?” But it’s really about networking as in any other profession. And a little bit of luck (I still believe in the right time, right place mentality!)
Amen.
As I write this, I feel like it’s gonna sound all flowers and rainbows, but truly not my intention…. life is far from perfect. lol
Reflecting on our own behavior; love that, Fadra…. something I’ve definitely really taken a look at in the past year or so in my own life, especially in relation to my end goals. How do I want to be perceived, to be known? What is the real passion behind my blogging? Yeah, that one was a huge realization for me, realizing what my real passion and end goal is. For me personally, thinking about everything you wrote…. it honestly boils down to being the change I want to see, whether it’s in my career as a blogger and a writer (and yes, I consider myself a writer) or in my personal life, as well. Keep on doing what I’m doing, face forward, work hard, be professional, be supportive to other bloggers, steer clear of the drama, and not so much worrying about what others are doing. Worry about what I’m doing, learn from other bloggers…. but see them as the real people they are, even the hugely successful bloggers. After all, we all button our pants the same way, right? lol
I’ve seen some of the things described above too…. A LOT. It’s sad when you really think about it. I guess I just look at it as what kind of legacy do I want to leave for my kids? ‘Cause that thought right there brings so much perspective.
I can’t tell you how many times my approach to blogging has change over the past 4.5 years. I’m always trying to think of what I really want, besides just to enjoy to way I earn an income. What I love is that I feel like I have a modest level of success (open to interpretation) and I’ve done it on my own terms. I’ve tried a few tactics here and there but bottom line is that it doesn’t feel good unless I’m simply being me.
Sounds like you are doing all the right things!!!
Ha, I don’t know about that, but I’m definitely trying. You’re so right about doing it on your own terms and being yourself. And I just realized this was written a year ago…. Good stuff!
It’s because my work is timeless 😀
Though I enjoyed the post, and found several points I agree with, here in the comments there seems to be a divide between writers and public relations. …oh, and we could even throw designers in the mix with all the talented photography bloggers out there.
I have a background in advertising, so while you joke about the free vacuum, that is what I do. I share brands and products that I use (mainly food or family related) with my readers. I share recipes and ideas for crafts or activities with my children, too. I am not trying to grab at freebies or demand products, instead I am usually contacted by a brand for the purpose of showing their product in use. My favorite posts involve a new food product that I can incorporate into a family meal. I know everyone who commented here means well, but please don’t lump “review bloggers” all together.
I do consider myself an entrepreneur. I help companies promote, syndicate across social media channels. etc. I have set work hours, duties to fulfill and even expenses for photography backgrounds, props, ingredients, etc.
Again, writing is such a small part of what I do, but I do consider myself a blogger. I truly believe we come in all shapes and forms, but good manners are just good manners no matter the industry.
I don’t think anyone is begrudging you a free vacuum (I reviewed one last year!) if it fits with your personality and your blog type. I do plenty of reviews on my blog but I have specific criteria for the products I review (loose as they may be). But I have plenty of first hand experiences of bloggers who will LITERALLY push you out of the way to get a free widget. If you haven’t been to any blog conferences, that’s where you see a lot of the behavior!! Since this post was written over a year ago, I do feel like the climate is changing as conferences change and brands are looking for fresh approaches to working with bloggers.
While this post was a bit ranty, the core of it is that we need to act like professionals if we want to be treated like professionals.
I stole one thing. COME ON. And I am still waiting for those damn crocks.
p.s Did another bad girl already beat me to this hilarious comment? 🙂 Nice post.