I looked down the hallway. I said, “Oh man!” and that is how Wacky Wednesday began.
I recited that from memory, by the way. Wacky Wednesday by Dr. Seuss is one of my all-time favorite childhood books. I introduced it to my son and he loved it just as much as I did. But I didn’t expect to actually live out Wacky Wednesday.
My day didn’t begin with a shoe on the wall but it turned out to be pretty wacky anyway.
I think it begins every time I say, “I’m going to go to yoga class on Wednesday morning.” It’s like the fates have it in for me. There always seems to be one insurmountable obstacle after another on Wednesday mornings. I figure it’s the universe’s way of telling me I shouldn’t go. Either that or it’s telling me, “Girl, if you really want to go, you better act like you want to.” Yes, the universe has a little sass.
It started out with a bellyache and a potty break. My stomach felt a little off this morning which made me move a little slower. And then my son needed to take his potty break. Yes. That kind of potty break. After the rest of the morning scramble (forgot this upstairs, where are your shoes, have you seen my keys, let me feed the dog), we made it into the car and we’re on our way. I have just enough time to make it to his sitter’s house and then schlep all the way in the opposite direction to the yoga studio.
I decide to take a different way. I thought it might be less traffic, a little shorter. Instead, I turn and see a garbage truck barreling down the road and a dog that runs right in front of him.
You can open your eyes now.
The truck driver saw him and stopped in time and the dog ran on his merry way. His owners were trying to catch him without getting hit themselves but this dog was clearly enjoying his moment of freedom. I sped ahead and cut him off at the pass which steered him off of the main road. Then something caught his nose and he stopped for a sniff. I got out, asked him if he wanted a treat, grabbed his leash and then handed hi back to the owner who had just caught up. Call me the dog whisperer. Back in the car. On my way.
Then I turned down the road that I take ALL the time. Traffic is stopped. There is construction going on. The kind of construction where you are really wondering what the heck they are doing anyway. Finally the Stop sign turns to a Slow sign. But there is a Leader car. We can’t figure out how to drive around the men and cones so we have to tiptoe by at 15 mph.
Continuing on. I take my standard route into my sitter’s community. I’m driving. I see a minivan approaching a stop sign on a side road perpendicular to the road I’m on. I just have this feeling. She looks to her right as she slows down. And then looks to her left as she continues on. Apparently STOP today actually means YIELD. I swerve extremely far around her and she narrowly misses me. I didn’t even see a hint of remorse on her face.
Continuing on. I’m on my way to the yoga studio. I’m driving next to a nice, young gentleman (i.e. young punk) who is leaned so far back I can’t see him. As he drinks his coffee, he comes closer….closer…closer..closer.closer. HONK. He moves. His bad.
Continuing on. I approach a major intersection and come to a stop at the red light. The SUV pulls up next to me about 2 inches away. Is my car magnetic today? The light turns green and I speed ahead only to be surprised by a policeman standing on a street corner. I look behind him and see a police car with flashing lights and a sheriff’s car. It’s in the parking lot of a shady apartment building so I don’t think twice. Then I see a flashing police car on the other side of the road. And then two more – all within a half mile stretch. I have no idea what’s going on. I start to think maybe there is going to be a full moon tonight.
I head north on a major road to get to the yoga studio. I still think I’m destined to go. Another policeman. This time it’s a car accident. I continue on. More construction. Lane closures.
I finally make it to the studio. I’m late. I have to knock on the window and disturb the ambiance but I’m determined to get in there. And an hour later, I’m back to normal.
If you know the book Wacky Wednesday, you know that the boy has to count 20 more things wrong to make Wacky Wednesday go away. I’m not sure I found 20 but I think that I found them all. I even got rid of that shoe on the wall.