Every time I sit down to do a writing exercise like this, I find myself always reflecting on myself. Usually it’s the physical self but sometimes it’s the emotional and/or mental self. It’s not that I’m self-centered. I think that it’s simply taking five minutes out of my week to let my brain go and I realize how much is actually weighing on it.
Here’s my 5 minute brain dump…
Almost as if continuing my post from last Sunday, it’s all about me. And sometimes vanity is my name.
Tonight, I went to the theater (said in my best British accent). Not only theater but musical theatre. I’ve never been much of a theater girl. I’d much rather sit and watch the silver screen and feel all the intimate emotions of each character. When you’re dealing with theater, everything has to be bigger, bolder, louder. There’s not a lot of room for subtlety. Not that the show tonight was about subtlety.
“Menopause the Musical” is a show that came to Frederick for a one day only performance. I went because I was pitched the idea of promoting it as a girls night out and thought that I actually needed to make it a girls night out if that’s what I was writing about. So I went with two of my friends that I thought might appreciate at least perimenopausal humor.
And here’s what I walked away with. I don’t want to grow old. At least not in the embrace-my-gray-hairs-and-expanding-waistline sort of way. While I watched four very talented women sing and dance on stage about their mood swings and hot flashes, my takeaway was very clear. I don’t want to be the overweight, short-haired, saggy-breasted poster child of menopause who simply embraces “the change.” I want to fight it every step of the way because I truly think the best is yet to come.
I used to think that I was going to gracefully age and be that regal woman with grey in her loss and be happy with what’s to come but I am with you. Do NOT go gentle into that good night! Nope, I am going to be that woman who ages on my terms (whateber that means) but not let society tell me how to do it.
Ha! I used to think that too. I was going to have long silver locks and wear hippie skirts. Nah. I’m gonna fight this.
Well, I’d like to fight it too. But not being as optimistic I you, I saw it is what it is and I wonder when I’ll actually have to go to the doctor and say I need you to help me with this. Over the years I guess I’ve been broken in gently with night sweats. Lately my temp is flip flopping just as I know it happens with some women. I go to bed freezing and undress in my sleep as the hours pass. This week I had a dream that I was sitting in the sun on my back porch and I was so hot that I was getting ready to open the umbrella on the table and move in the shade. When I got up in my dream, I woke up. I was having a full blown hot flash. Scorching hot, then ofcourse freezing by 5:45 when it was time to get up. I think I can fight the grays. If I take after my daddy as it seems I am, I won’t have too many and from a distance, I’ll look young. LOL!
Oh, I’m at the point of admitting I need help. But I’m hoping to see a doctor that practices functional medicine so they look at the big picture and don’t just pass me off as another aging woman. I usually experience night sweats once a month but it sucks. I’m going to fight it all!
I’m post menopausal and except for occasional night sweats, I’m done with that. I don’t believe the women who allow their appearance to go to heck do so because they have embraced “the change.” I think a lot of women in my age group (50+) don’t make an effort because they don’t see themselves as they are: still beautiful and still worth it. It’s really sad.
I think you make a really good point. I see so many old women that look like they’ve literally decided to take up the part of the “old woman.” I’m still worth it. I just have to try a little harder.
Okay so I am just going to say that I went with my mom to see that show 4 or 5 years ago in Vegas and I was by far the youngest person in the crowd BUT I also laughed and laughed because the show was really about my mother. Then after the show I started thinking about it and I really do not want to deal with all of that!
There were some funny parts but I felt like I was not quite old enough but certainly not too young for it. I’m getting closer but I don’t want to deal with it either!