It’s that time again. Time to put your blogging brain aside and just write. This week was a little different for me. I have loads on my mind and it was a good outlet. But I couldn’t write it for myself. I wrote it with an audience in mind. It just felt different this week. More like a quickie blog post than free writing. Although after reading some of my sentence construction, you will be reminded that this is just my stream of consciousness.
It’s the hap-happiest time of the year. Or so they say. I love Christmas. I love the lights, the cookies, the gift giving. I love the spirit of CHristmas.
But along with all of the fun, comes the share of drudgery. Do you feel this way too? Pulling all of the boxes out of the attic. I’m thrilled once everything is et up and decorated but there is always that little piece in the back of my mind that thinks that no matter how good it looks or how long it stays up, it WILL eventually come down.
And then there is the cookie exchange. Where I want to bring utterly delicious and beautiful and memorable cookies. Last minute shopping. Transitioning to the cold weather.
Let’s face it. I’m totally stressed out. Superficially, I don’t seem that way but I can feel it creeping in. I can feel the insomnia creeping back it. My demon from 3 years ago has started to rear its ugly head. Even with the right medications, I fear that stress will bring something on or about or whatever you say about a condition you can’t really explain.
And this isn’t the kind of stress where you simply drink a glass of wine and take a bath. Although I’d love to do that any way. This is deep rooted, down in my gut so deep I barely notice it stress. But it’s there and it’s growing.
We have some big family news brewing that will change everything for me. And the thought is totally stressing me out. Unfortunately my mind and body don’t seem to play well when it comes to stress. And no, it’s not a baby.