I hated writing this post. But I had to. I had so many yucky feelings bottled up today that I felt like I had to get them out. Hopefully this purges them a little bit. At the very least, it should be a reminder to me that we start each day anew. Even moms need a do-over. I hope I get mine tomorrow.
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I’ll admit. I was never one of those little girls who grew up dreaming of the day they would someday become a mother. I assumed I would become a mother because during the time I grew up, that’s what you did. Not to say I grew up in the 1950s. I was allowed to have a life and a career but still be married and have kids.
I was going to get married at 23 and have kids at 25. Two of them. I never thought about what kind of mother I would be. I love kids, for the most part. I think there’s a juvenile side of me that I’ve never lost. I don’t mind being silly or acting goofy. Anything for a laugh really. So generally speaking, kids tend to flock to me.
This is not lost on my son. He loves his mommy. We are silly and goofy together at home. We tickle and make up songs and do funky dances. In fact, sometimes he tells me to stop. Like I’m just being too silly.
More times than not, he’s sulking. Or whining. Or being moody. Or being angry. I know part of it comes with the territory. I know it because a simple tweet last week brought out scores of other mothers of 4 year olds reassuring me that a moody and miserable 4 year old is often the norm.
Well, I have to tell you. It’s a norm that’s bringing me down. I try to stay in a good mood. I do get stressed sometimes. We’re always late and he operates on a typical pokey preschool schedule. And he’s very particular. The other morning, he had picked out his toys to take to his sitter. All of his Ironman figures. And then at the last minute he panics and grabs a yellow plastic sand shovel. Because he needs that. It’s somehow become very important in his elaborate play plans for the day.
I don’t pretend to understand his logic but i do pretend to understand his moods. It’s the constant pushing of the buttons. It’s the battles over the simplest things. And it’s Mommy’s lack of patience. Right now, it’s not a good combo. He melts my heart but today was a day that my heart was a little too cool.
A trip to the zoo and hopefully we come home with happy memories. Instead, there was whining, yelling, tears, and general boredom. Disrespect, not listening. Yes, I know as I type this you are all saying “yup, that’s a 4 year old.” But it tugs at my heart when I have a day like today when I just wanted to be away from him. Tell me I’m not alone.
18 comments
I have one that acts this way and he’s two. I have to hope that is the age and eventually he will outgrow it…I don’t know how to handle things if this is his personality.
Yes, a new day…just breath…
You are SO not alone!! My daughter is seven, and I’m still having some days where the moods are too much for me (that isn’t really helpful is it?…it does get better).
This mom thing is hard (heck, I wrote about it for my SOC post today too) but so so worth it. And in the end the good times and goofy things will outweigh the bad and whiny ones……at least that is the hope I’m going to cling to.
My son is very particular about almost everything. At times it has been exasperating, but it has gotten better. At 10 he has learned how to let some of that go- it makes life a little bit easier.
Don’t feel bad, I feel that way about my nine year old almost daily. I also remember not liking my 12 year old too much when she was nine. I think kids attitudes/moods cycle with ages. I am in love with my oldest right now, but I’m sure in a few years I won’t be saying the same thing.
Hang in there. And enjoy the good days. The good news (and I hope for you too) is that five year olds are generally good and fun!
You arent alone! There are days when I just want to get away. Today I woke up with a nasty nasty headache and my 2yo son decided he was going to be cranky all morning and cry and cry and cry. There wasnt anything wrong. He just wasnt happy and because I dont speak 2yo I couldnt help him. But its always good to remember that there are better days!
You have seen the name of my blog, right? No. You’re not alone.
Oh boy are you NOT alone! My daughter is the ultimate patience tester. I think I’ve written before about having to repeat myself 3, 4, 5 times. And usually by the 4th or 5th time, I’m yelling.
And this shocks people who know me – including my own husband. But they’re 4 (mine’s going on 5) and they love us, but they know how to get us going!
Yes, yes, and yes. My daughter is six- and the disrespect and moods kill me. I wont tell you not to feel bad- because that would be like telling him not to be moody. At some point I learned to let go. To walk away from the moment. To go for a a run or dance on the Wii. Anything to take my mind off my daughter. It does not always help- but at least for a brief moment I can focus on something else. xo
My son is only two, but I can tell you that you’re not alone!! I have the added burden of never wanting to be like my mom, so it’s especially hard for me to want time away from him.
‘Tis raising kids, I guess. Like everything, it has it’s ups and downs.
I have to simply say THANK YOU for posting this because I was beginning to wonder if I was the only person who was thinking, “who the heck is this kid?” I’m exhuasted from the whining, crying, and battles. And why did she wait till she was 4 to act like this?? The other two acted like this when they were 2 and 3 not being an awesome kid and then act like the devil when they hit 4, or well I should say almost 5! It’s nice to know that other moms have these same frustrating thoughts. You are NOT alone!
You are totally not alone. While I am not a mother…yet, I get and see the days coming. Your kiddos will remember the good times, laugh at the funnies, and hardly remember the moods.
Being able to admit it and be real with what you’re feeling is what keeps people from going off the deep end. You’re doing a great job, and I hope this funky four phase passes quickly.
i’m 100% sure you’re not alone. you’re human, and a fantastic woman who is an equally fantastic mom. the older i get, the more i’m learning about love on the days when you want to run away, far away. it’s a pretty amazing love.
You are absolutely not alone. I freaking adore my kids, ages 6 and 2, but there are always stages that they go through that challenge me. Or certain aspects of their personalities that, when considered with the whole of them, are no big deal – but in a wild moment feel like they make me so crazy. My 2yo is still pretty sugar sweet and not a big challenge at all, but somedays I war with my lovely 6yo over the silliest things. He is sensitive, falls apart at the funniest things but is so strong and amazing in others. We can be having a great time and one false move, the enjoyment is gone and he’s yelling into a pillow about everything being ruined. Gah. All we can do is love them because of, and despite, all the crazy-making stuff. ; )
Not alone at all! With boys ages 15 and 8 at home, I completely understand the moments, the days when I just want to be away from them. Just a little bit of time to step away and reboot, refresh, restart. Hopefully you are able to find a bit of comfort in knowing that.
I feel like this too with my almost 3 year old. It’s like I’m a runway always looking for an escape route.
You are not alone.
I never wanted to be a mom. And here I am, with 3 kids. And my goal for each day to to not kill one of them or stab myself in the ear with a letter opener thanks to all the whining. My goal is not perfection, my goal for most days is merely survival.
I’m off to write my SOC post, I missed it yesterday since we were getting back from vacation.
We actually left the zoo today because of the most insane screaming and hitting fit. I feel your pain. Hoping today has been better for you.