I love that this whole idea is growing. I mean, last week, we had 44 link-ups!!
It’s always my personal goal to read every single post that’s here to let you know how much I appreciate you joining this little community I’ve created. I’ve been trying to keep up but I’m usually about a week behind.
And while I don’t get to spend much time reading blogs during the week (I try, really I do), I love connecting with people on Twitter. If you get a chance and I don’t already follow you on Twitter, leave your ID in your comment below.
And if you aren’t on Twitter, why the heck not?
Now, on to me, me, me. Sorry, this week is a bit of a downer, but introspective, at least.
About 4 years ago, I started having problems with anxiety and depression and I’ve been good and healthy for a long while now. But this week, I felt it creeping back in. The difference is that I can recognize it. And I can better understand where it’s coming from.
When I dealt with this 4 years ago, I think a big part of it was the loss of my identity as Fadra, working woman. I was still a working woman but I had to balance my time AND my identity with Fadra, the mommy. Both were equally important.
When I left the working world (not of my own accord), I stumbled into the online world and fell in love. I thought I could never go back to a regular ol’ office job. I still feel that way. But that feeling comes at a price.
My husband started a new job earlier this year and he’s doing fabulously well at it. He makes good money. He’s happy and he’s good at it. And he travels quite a bit (you know, because of the whole not selling our house and moving yet thing).
He came home last night after 4 days away and was telling me about his week. Telling me about all the meetings he went to and the praise that was lavished upon him (well-deserved, I might add). And then we started talking about standard household things. Bills and such. We talked about the credit card bill and how some of his work expenses go on there. He was explaining how it’s easier to use his own card and expense it in case he goes over his per diem.
As he was explaining it to me, I said, yes, I know how all that works. I used to have a corporate card. I used to be somebody, remember?
Wow. That’s how I’m feeling. All the ugly feelings plaguing me all week came out in one ugly statement. And I’m trying to figure out what to do about it.