This is an after the fact update. Because I totally forgot to put an intro. Maybe it’s because in my post below, I was comparing myself to a celebrity and maybe I just don’t need an introduction. (wink eye!) As a preface to my post below, I assure you I still love blogging and I don’t plan to go anywhere anytime soon (unless you want me to and you’ll pay me large sums of money).
***
Saturday at lunchtime. It’s an odd time to be writing a post for a stream of consciousness on Sunday but my mind never really takes a break anyway. I find I tend to be funnier and more clear-headed in the light hours of the day. I get super pensive in the evenings. I swear it has nothing to do with wine drinking either.
This past week has been one of ups and downs for me. Nothing significant. Just one of those weeks, and I know I’m not alone.Tell me I’m not alone.
Some days I just get this weird temptation to just stop everything. No Twitter, no blogs, no Facebook, no photos. Okay, maybe I would keep Facebook since I limit that to family and friends.
I have found that I love blogging. I love the blogging world. And I love my blogging peeps. But it can be so time-consuming. And I often feel like a bit of a celebrity. Not because I AM a celebrity but because like celebrities, you feel the need to stay present in everyone’s minds. Whether it’s showing up at a glamourous movie premiere in a to-die-for-dress, or getting arrested because you crashed your car once again. I’m not looking to be Kate Winslet (okay, maybe I am) or Lindsey Lohan (apparently now going by simply “Lindsey”) but you do feel this pressure to stay present on the web. Be present or be forgotten.
I enjoy writing and sharing and interacting. But I also want to make this avocation my VOCATION. And I get a little clouded at times at what the best path for me is. Is it writing? Is it consulting? Networking? TV star? I’m not sure. Some days I want a break. But if I gave it all up, I would feel this huge hole in my life. The online world has become my community.
What about you? How seriously do you take your blogging and do you ever want to turn your back on it?
59 comments
Well, my favourite Zimbabwen blogger. It does feel like that, doesn’t it? I have a blog post brewing … I think I’ll call it “It’s my social media and I’ll do it all wrong if I want to.”
I still don’t understand twitter properly … except for when I’m at a conference. I get my facebooks confused, and will probably close one account down. It’s too much.
I could never not blog, though. Ever ever … it’s frickin’ saved my life. And gave me some of my best mates {insert smiley emoticon here}
-eden xo
PS I always think I want to do your Stream of Consciousness Sunday … but I chicken out. Terrified at what will come out.
You’re not the only terrified person. The weird thing is, I never get terrified of what Iw ill say. I just say. But *sometimes* after the fact, I do think that perhaps I should have said something differently.
I do feel like once it’s in your blood it’s tough to get rid of. Although I do have a post brewing of all the bloggers I’ve met over the past year and how many of them are still blogging. you’d be surprised at how many people quit. For me, I’ve discovered my love of writing and I can’t imagine giving that up.
I love it! “It’s my social media and I’ll do it all wrong if I want to.”
I go through this often…it’s a season for me that goes as quickly as it comes. I just take my rest and before long I can’t wait to plug back in! It also tends to happen more often when I have big changes happening in my life (like moving, having a baby etc)…There is only so much room in my head you know?
I can always slow down too if I want. I don’t really want to stop. I just want to be moving TOWARDS something. I just need to figure out what that soemthing is.
Yes, yes, and yes. Wait… she’s just going by Lindsey now??? It’s justifiable homicide if I stab her in the throat, right?
TOTES justifiable. I can’t believe she’s still alive.
Yep. Just Lindsey. I’m okay with it. I’m thinking of being just Fadra. Everyone would know it was ME, right?
Well, I do know so many that it could get confusing. Actually the only thing
close to your name I’ve ever heard (yes I read your post about your name)
was the Phaedrus in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance… now i want
to reread that book. hmmmmm.
What I like about facebook is that I can only allow the people in that *I* want in. On a blog anyone can read it, well obviously if you make it private they can’t, but what’s the point then unless you are just using it as a diary. Annnnyway, there is only one specific person that I do not want to read ANYTHING that I write ANYWHERE, but apparently she has people who have people and yeah, now they know about my blog and twitter. So. Do I just keep writing and being “out there” or do I dump it all except facebook?? I guess my best option is just to ignore and do my own thing.
So yes, this whole comment was just my decision making mumbo jumbo going on in my head.
I should just go write my 5 minutes, eh?
I like your thought process. Be you. Live out loud. And if someone doesn’t like it, they can stop reading 🙂
I have had the intense feeling (maybe “intense” is too strong a word) to stop it all, too. But, then, I’ll get an email from some one who read one of my post and felt encouraged (as a result) to continue on. That’s what keeps me going. I don’t really care much for keeping up with the Joneses or staying relevant (on most days). I just keep on because I feel I have to for both my sake and the sake of others who read my blog and have yet to discover my blog.
Yup. I always says it’s like the lows and highs of sales. When nobody is buying your product, you want to quit. But when you close a big deal, you’re on top of the world! Maybe I just need to get more mentally balanced ;P
I don’t even do it as well or as much as you do and feel like I could just walk away. I understand the being forgotten part…but half the time I wonder if people even know me enough to be forgotten. I’d gladly give up Facebook..if just to get away from real people that annoy me..ie, in-laws.
You and your in-laws 😉 But you LOVE writing and what a great outlet for it, right? I think the more we support each other, the more we’ll love keeping up with it.
And that’s kind of where the blogging community fits in – not only can we make our blogging buddies our accountability partners, but we can also help each other out when we know we are getting close to that burn-out feeling.
I personally take advantage of my “I’m on a roll” times to pre-write as many posts as I can, so that if I need to take a week to defuse, I can, without going through withdrawls or wondering whether people will forget me.
And it is also about that great sale or that email from someone you’ve inspired – it gives you further direction. And it might give you a better focus, so that you perhaps aren’t writing about everything under the sun and spending all your time on your laptop?
I have gotten much better at pre-writing. But if I don’t do it when the inspiration happens, then I lose interest in writing it. I need to work on my efficiency.
I definitely want to give it up at times. Mom and my sister were in town all week, and I hardly spent any time online and didn’t miss it much. I’ve felt that same pull to stay present or be forgotten. But then I ask, “is being forgotten so bad?”. My kids and husband and family and friends won’t forget me and more time offline means more time with them. You ask good questions, Miss Fadra.
I think it depends on the type of person you are and where you get your validation. I love family time but without a job outside the home, I need to be online to feel like I’m still part of society. I know it’s weird but at least I understand my own feelings.
I hear ya. My job is part-time inside the home, so I definitely go batty and
need to have a part of me that isn’t all about the kids. The online
community does provide that. I suppose it’s a part of why I don’t drop it
all. .. Also, how would I have met you and the other lovely Raleigh ladies?
I would give up Facebook before everything else, because that’s where the people I know in real life are. And I don’t really like them that much. 🙂
I don’t think I would give up blogging. It’s my therapy, and it’s much cheaper.
It’s kinda true. My FB friends don’t really get the blogging world. And I feel like bloggers are more my peeps. Maybe I’ll just keep everybody for now.
Great post. I think we all experience this now and then, the times we think it would be best to just cut ties and walk away. I would never do it, Because I COULD never do it,because blogging is an outlet and I need that, desperately. I need the community, as you said. But a break now and then can’t hurt! Everyone will be here for you whey decide to return!
Honestly, because I look for my blogging inspiration in my every day life, it makes me pay more attention to the details of my life. I guess that’s a good thing, right?
Oh, I can relate. There are moments when I think I should just stop. These mostly come when I think about 10 years from now. 10 years from now, will all my blogging have made any difference? But, if I stop, 10 years from now, will my kids know the difference…b/c Mommy didn’t spend their childhoods on her laptop?
It’s hard to find a balance.
Yes. It’s about balance. I think blogging helps us keep our identities despite being mothers. It’s easy to get lost in that world and I’ve seen people do it. I don’t want that to be me. I want to be the best mom but also find some purpose in my life. I’ll let you know if I work it all out.
I wonder the same thing about myself sometimes. I did take nearly a week off twitter & my full time job is now forcing me to not touch twitter between 8-5 except on lunches. You are so right, if you aren’t out there… you are likely forgotten (or at least that’s what it feels like.) I’m now in this for the writing… and communicating with friends. And that’s it. (yes, that’s something I discovered in therapy this week.) 🙂
Your blogging goals, or purpose, or inspiration or whatever – it’s important to recognize so you don’t get caught up in too many things that don’t matter. I love it for the reasons you do. But I’m also trying to avoid going back to a desk job 🙂
I took a mini-break on Thursday and Friday…had absolutely NO desire to blog. Twitter’s another story, but yes – there are certainly times I just want to turn it all off.
Twitter is totally social. There are no expectations. Pop on when you want. Leave when you want. Blogging is more like a publishing house. I think if I treat it as such, it will be much easier.
Yes, yes, and yes. For me the feeling of needing to be present is exaggerated on twittter right now…because during the week I am noticeably not there since I’m teaching. I always worry about that lack of interaction opportunity. The whole out of sight of mind thing…not that I’m really on that many tweep’s mind 🙂
I find with Twitter that I can pop on at any time, insert myself in about 7 conversations and get the tweeting going. With blogging, it’s hit or miss and definitely not proportional to the effort.
I am so with you! That is why I instituted a Dark Day. On Wednesdays, I try to stay away from email, Facebook, Twitter and texting in order to have some time “off” from it all. I have even limited my TV watching. It has actually led to more dark moments, to be honest. I just feel too plugged in sometimes. I feel as though I’m not out living my life because I’m in “living” it.
Unintentionally, my Saturdays are usually like that. I used to be that way on Sundays but clearly I don’t take *that* day off anymore. On the days that my son is home with me, I try to go out of the house with him and do some fun stuff. Good for him and good for me.
I straddle that line… I’d like my blog to satisfy MY need to get stuff off my chest… but I’d also like my voice to be heard. But… I am in no hurry to become all celebrity. I don’t think I could handle the pressures it would bring. ha!
I’m with you. I blog for both reasons. And it’s not celebrity I’m concerned with. It’s money. But I’ll take celebrity if it means money. I just don’t want to get a real job 😉
Maybe you’ve been in my head recently. Sometimes it feels like I’ve got to be online close to every waking moment interacting on Twitter, reading blogs and leaving comments, on Facebook. It can feel like a chore but all my interactions are genuine. I like reading what others have to say and commenting. I like conversing with others on Twitter. I like to write but maybe I won’t blog the way I’m “supposed” to in order to make tons of money, that’s not what it’s about for me. While I take my blogging seriously, I have had times when I won’t post for months… that’s because the other parts of my life step in and take priority. If it stops being enjoyable for me then I’ll walk away.
Yes, it feels like a chore. And yes, it is genuine but yes, it is time-consuming. I’ve always blogged the way I wanted to and just been lucky for the few opportunities that have come my way. But I think that’s a good plan. Keep doing it as long as you enjoy it.
I don’t know what I want either. Every time I break my blog I think “Eh, maybe this is a good time to just stop.” I could be spending the time doing fiction writing. I’ve found that I can’t balance writing good blog posts with the amount of attention I need to give to my “art.” One has to give.
You can do fiction writing as part of your blog. I haven’t done it but the Red Dress Club does some great writing prompts. Or just write pages to your yet-to-be-published book so you’ll have a built-in audience!
I so know what you are talking about. I love the blogging world, I love the connections, I love not feeling alone on this road we call motherhood. But, it is very time consuming and some days I just can’t do it!
You guys are my peeps. I’d be so lonely without the blogging world. But yes, I need to be better about building in some breaks.
I love this subject.
I can’t even begin to tell you how much I LOVE to blog.
It changed my world.
I have become so much happier.
It has done more for me than therapy and prescibed meds.
I’m not kidding.
I have connected with women who I love, and have become part of my life.
I can not overstate that.
Let me say this. I do not work. I blog. I would like to make blogging a job so that I never have to go back to *that* world again. So I get it. I just get scared that I’ll have to make a blogging choice in the future.
You’ve already been to my place today, so you know how I feel about all this–but I hope you stick around.
I get it though…sometimes it’s just too much to try and keep it up all the time. Ugh.
Side note??? I agree w/Lerner…Would totally stab “Just Lindsey” given the chance. How freakin’ self involved can you be???
I’m okay with just Lindsey. Because what other Lindsey do you know? And besides, I plan to be just Fadra some day.
Yes I can totally relate! My boys are home with me all day so btw that and trying to work {I have a job where I WAH}, it is so tough. I always feel like I need to be tweeting or writing posts to stay present but sometimes I just feel so exhausted I can’t physically do another thing. PLUS I am learning that my boys will only be little for so long and I can only handle so much…
At first I read that you have a job where you “wah” like whine. And then I realized you meant work at home 😉
Social media is 24/7 and that’s the hardest part. Life was a little easier when there was a definitive end to my workday. Of course, my workday also sucked.
I have felt like this sometimes. Blogging is kind of like parenting. It’s super bittersweet. Sometimes you feel like you totally have a handle on your kid and they’re going to bed and eating on schedule, and then that night comes when it’s 9 PM and they haven’t eaten, and they won’t got to sleep, and you’re wondering…WTF am I doing? Why am I doing this?
Okay. That might be a bit of a loose/dramatic/incorrect comparison, but you know what I mean.
Actually the latter example is my everyday life. I’m used to chaos so maybe I’m suited for this??
Holy cow! 28 links? Consider my lesson learned – I too shall take up writing my Stream of Consciousness Sunday post on Saturday afternoons.
Without having read everyone’s comments yet, I will go out on a limb & say NO, you are not alone in this, and that some of us (ahem) are far worse at taking that instinct and running with it. Running far the heck away from the computer.
I admire those who approach this in a structured, systematic way, and I’m just not someone who’s been able to do that yet. But I do love to write, I need to write just like I need to run (mental workout vs. physical), and so I do this whole blog thing because its easier than shopping my short stories all over Manhattan.
But you know, in my version of Crazytown, you are *totally* a celebrity, and in fact, Kate Winslet blogs about being you.
Structured, systematic – words that have no meaning in my world. I love to write. I just think I need to develop just a *touch* of discipline so it doesn’t feel so hard sometimes. And yes, I’ve checked Kate Winslet’s blog. She changes the names but I’m pretty sure she’s talking about me more times than not.
And this is exactly why I’ve taken so long to start mine. I’ve wanted to blog for years but I haven’t had what I felt, was enough time to devote to it. Thinking maybe it was a passing phase I blew it off. Over & over. Did I say years? I’m thinking I need that space. Even if no one were ever to read it, I still need the writing craft. Just for me. Make sense?
Write. For yourself if no one else. Once you get people to start reading, it gets a little bit addictive. You want them to always read. But even if no one reads, I still love having written.
I enjoy blogging, but I’m lazy… I blog when I feel like it, and sometimes I don’t get a chance to blog when I feel like it, but I never blog just to say I did… although I do wish I was more consistent with it… I need more hours in the day! I need more time to READ blogs as well…
Quite a few of the bloggers I “met” when I first started blogging don’t blog all that regularly (or at all) anymore… instead I keep up with them on Facebook and/or Twitter… I find myself drawn to both more when I have short amounts of time, as it’s quicker to hit up everyone at once… I’m also finding myself pulling more to Twitter than FB as I like the “conversation” feel… often it’s so immediate… and being almost a “single parent” half the time I really need the adult interaction – especially on Hubs’ work nights… but I’m getting off track.
I’ve never (yet) thought that I would stop blogging for good. It might not be consistent or often, but I need to get things said sometimes… even if it’s just some funny conversation Hubs & I had, or sharing something that Goose has accomplished or did… heck, I don’t even have very many readers, but I appreciate the ones I do have!! I know it’s nothing I’ll ever make any money at, or make a career out of (although I think that would be pretty awesome sometimes!) but I’ll always do it…
Hey, you DID say the link was open all week, so , better late than never!
Glad you stopped by. I could tell you needed it!
Oh, boy. I go through spurts of seriousness …… I originally started my blog as a way to chronicle my pregancy with the twins, but it’s morphed into so much more. It reminds me how much I love to write, and read other folks, as well as connect with other moms, all across the world. It’s opened up opportunities for more writing, and I’ve meet some dear, sweet friends. (hint hint)
I’ll give it up when it becomes a JOB. In other words, when it’s a chore, instead of being fun.
I love having the online community ..and as a new blogger I find it hard to stay dedicated to my blog. I’m constantly thinking, “I should blog” ..I feel like it’s when you start going to the gym..it always feels like work. Hoping that soon it feelsnlike second nature.