I rarely talk about things like religion on my blog. There’s a reason. I consider myself to be a very spiritual person with a very complicated religious upbringing. No, there were no rattlesnakes involved but it might have come close. I respect everyone’s right to agree and disagree and find meaning in life. In short, I don’t judge.
Call me naive, but I want people to be the same. And I want them to take social cues more seriously when talking about sensitive subjects like religion. Pardon me in advance, if I offend anyone. This has nothing to do with beliefs. This has to do with approach and something that weighed heavily on my mind all day. And thanks for letting me share.
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Here we go. Yesterday was a rough day for me. Why? Because everybody and everything seemed to piss me off. I hate it when I’m like that. Im practicing being more of a go-wth-the-flow kind of girl and I’ve come a long way since my youth.
I’ll admit that I was extremely tired yesterday. Like over the top tired. Like super sleep-deprived tired. That makes me, well, less than pleasant to be around. I’m not particularly patient. And when I’m working outside trimming the bushes to get the house ready to sell, and it’s hot (yes, it was hot here yesterday), and I have a 4 year old that syas every 2.5 seconds “hey Mommy, Hey Mommy, Hey Mommy,” my patience starts to wear thin. I’m not in a great mood.
Thank God I wasn’t hungry too or else I might have committed bloody murder.
So what happened was a neighbor walked by with her dog and my dog went over to say hello which led to a “conversation.” She started talking about us moving (I guess she had already pestered my husband for information) and about our next door neighbor who has his house for sale.
I mentioned how he lost his wife almost 2 years ago and it was a big house for just him. It was probably a good idea for him to move his life forward. I knew that to be true because I had talked to him about it.
She acted SHOCKED that his spouse had died and brought up our recent neighbor who also died. It was obvious that she knew them only well enough to say hello when passing. I mentioned that I knew and that I had attended the memorial service. It should be an indication that I was friends with them.
And then she went on to pester me about if they belonged to a church and do I know if he was saved and did they accept Christ as their savior. I understand her convictions about her beliefs. I understand her longing to share those beliefs with others. But there is a time and a place. And this wasn’t the time nor the place.
I don’t like to be rude so I skirted around the issues. And to be frank, if he’s dead, it doesn’t really matter, now does it?
24 comments
I consider myself more spiritual than religious and have my own faith issues. I don’t like being proselytized to and find it insulting. I always want to ask ‘saved from what?’ I’m with you, once he’s dead seems a moot point now.
I’m fine if organized religion is your thing. But it’s not everybody’s thing. And Besides, I think everyone needs to find their own path.
Did she pester YOU about belonging to a church? People are frickin strange, man,
I used to be *totally* saved, Fadra. Until one night, my entire church group ambushed me, all laid hands on me – asking for the “demon alcoholism” to come out of my SOUL.
Kinda like, an intervention.
For satan.
I stopped going. Started meeting strangers off phone chat lines instead. MUCH more safer.
(Everything I just wrote is true. Real.) xox
Wow. You were one of THEM? I was too, actually. There were so many things that hit me the wrong way even when I was young enough that I shouldn’t have even noticed.
What I don’t understand about folks that want to “push” their religion onto others…is why they think their methods of badger and bring up at inappropriate times is the way to do it? Who was she going to convince here? You? Or maybe she felt better? She’s lucky you weren’t hungry…
I know the thinking. I used to be there. I used to look at opportunities to “witness.” I’m okay with people sharing their beliefs but there should still be some social norms to adhere to – like when the time is right.
Open the door, people. Don’t shove me through it.
I really wish people would realize there is a time and a place for things.
I was pretty gracious considering I was so tired and my eyes were screaming “GO AWAY!”
There’s a time and place for everything, and that lady hasn’t figured it out!! I guess you know now to avoid her.
THe funny part, is that I was thinking the whole time I was reading… “What does it matter now? He’s dead!” Then you said the exact same thing… creepy!! Greats minds think alike, and fools rarely differ! 🙂
Normally, these things don’t bother me. But the whole time she was talking to me, I wanted to run away. Fast.
I hate talking about religion as well because of how I was raised. I practically ran from church when I graduated from High School. Living in a small town now, I think it’s why I don’t really connect with anyone here, because it’s ALL about where you go to church, are you saved, etc. etc.
I’m okay with that. I always have my online friends. 🙂
I live in a small city (Raleigh) but it’s still southern and it was so weird for me to adjust to the fact that going to church on Sundays is an assumed thing. And apparently so is Wednesday Bible study. It’s not small towns. It’s small minds. But unfortunately they usually go hand in hand.
People like that REALLY bug me. She was so concerned about him being SAVED… but didn’t know the circumstances around his death, didn’t attend the memorial service, probably didn’t take the time to become his friend BEFORE his demise. Ugh.
I think it’s awesome when people who know and love me are concerned about my “religion”. I always thank them for their concern. But once they have discussed this with me… I expect them to respect ME… and my ability to decide what is right for me.
Whoa. You touched a nerve. haha! I almost wrote another paragraph. 🙂
Wow I would be totally pissed off too. That is not the time or the place (if there even is one outside of church or a bible study) for talking about someone being saved. I am spiritual as well and married to a Jewish man so guess how often I get all kids of annoyed at comments like this here in Charlotte? A LOT.
what the hell is wrong with people. youre right. it has nothing to do with beliefs. It has a lot to do with tact and class. Geeze. Also I was in one of those moods yesterday and had no idea why (besides exhaustion). I could not lift the funk. Hope you are feeling much better right now. I know i am :O)
what the hell is wrong with people. youre right. it has nothing to do with beliefs. It has a lot to do with tact and class. Geeze. Also I was in one of those moods yesterday and had no idea why (besides exhaustion). I could not lift the funk. Hope you are feeling much better right now. I know i am :O)
I was uncomfortable just reading that. Since I’m one of those people who’s oh-so-sucky at smalltalk I probably would have responded with a good amount of hemming and hawing before excusing myself with “Um, I need to go get something out of my oven.”
I’m a Christian and try to live my faith, but would *never* discuss someone else’s faith – the known or unknown. Especially when I don’t know the person or family well at all. Faith is such a personal thing… and I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to force a conversation about it. If you ask me about what I believe, I will gladly share… but I don’t think it’s right to speculate on what others may or may not believe.
Thank you! I’m sure people are reading my post thinking I’m a bitch for whining about 4 lbs. But 4 lbs when you’re 125ish is a hell of a lot different than when you are 250, ya know? Probably why no one has commented on my post, LOL. And yes, that is hubby. See why I can’t have muffin top?
I commend you for handling it as well as you did! I get so aggravated with how ignorant some people can be. I’m Jewish so when I get pestered/ambushed/whatever about religious beliefs or spirituality it’s a very uncomfortable situation. Then when people don’t get the hint to shut their trap and just keep going, I start to get angry.
But the whole time I was reading your post I was thinking, “Who cares, they’re dead now” and then you said it! Haha! Well done!
I’d just like to say, when it comes to religion, I am like you. To each his own and all that, but don’t discriminate.
My grampa was a pastor, so we went to church regularly when my sister & I were young… then we got a little older and started having sports, jobs, sleepovers, etc… my sister & I used to make an effort to go on Easter Sunday and for the Christmas service until Grampa passed away… now my parents go to a local church they enjoy, my sister & her family go when they can roll themselves out of bed, and I go whenever I spend the weekend that results in me waking up out there on a Sunday… I’m definitely more spiritual than religious. and I HATE talking about religion. much like politics. I avoid the subjects at all costs most of the time… I think everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, and they’re welcome to keep them to themselves. 🙂 I’ll say a little prayer for whoever needs it, but beyond that – don’t ask me about my religion expecting to have a discussion, because I won’t engage.
Religion is one of those tricky subjects to get into a discussion about. I agree 100% about timing. I’m of the camp that I respect others’ religious/spiritual beliefs and I would like mine to be respected as well.