Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Quiet Amid the Chaos

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Thanksgiving is behind us. But if you are like me, your cup runneth over with family. My belly is full, my eyes are tired, and my head might be hurting just a bit (nothing to do with wine, I swear). So whether you are quietly at home recovering from the holiday or soaking up the last few moments of extended family time, I bet you have had some chaos.

It doesn’t matter. Whatever you are in the midst of, you can retreat inside yourself for just 5 minutes and write what ever enters your mind.

Here’s my contribution:

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Why does chaos sometimes feel better compared to silence? It sounds weird, I know. Especially since I’m the kind of person who wants, or rather needs quiet time every day. I’m not an introvert. I think I used to be. But I test as an extrovert nowadays. Hoever, I still need that time to myself. Every day. A few minutes in the morning. SOme relax time at lunch. And most certainly in the evening.

So why, when I seem to get together with the world’s noisiest family does it provide me some comfort? I think because I’m a mom now. We dont’ live near any of our family. And our family lives too far away to seem them with any regularity.

So here I am at my sister’s house. And I take complete respite in the fact that my son is making balloon animals and swordfighting with everyone in the house. He’s loud. He giggles. He wrestles. He forgets about mommy for a while. And I don’t really seem to mind. It makes me feel good for him to see family. ANd somehow understand that the relationship we have with family is somehow different than with neighbors and friends.

He is relaxed. He feels at ease. He tells people he loves them. And it warms my heart. And makes me imagine how life might be different for him if we lived closer to family. Mine or my husband’s. It doesn’t even matter to me. but having him spend his life as an only child makes me long for these chaotic moments. These moments where there’s no whining of boredom.