I’m a gamer.
Not a super gamer. Not like World-of-Warcraft kind of gamer. Not an online gamer. But a gamer.
I’ve tried Minecraft (I still don’t see what the appeal is) but most of the time I enjoy word games on my phone. I consider myself medium good at Words with Friends. I excel at Scramble with Friends. And I even dabble a bit in What’s the Phrase with Friends.
But every once in a while, I go into obsessive game mode where I. can’t. stop. playing.
This happened for me when I first discovered Angry Birds. I played it morning, noon, and night. I was completely out of control. But it wasn’t all for naught. I’ve achieved three stars on every single level. I’d like to think that might look good on a resumé someday.
Then I was obsessed with W.E.L.D.E.R. but the interest is starting to wane. So I had to start looking.
I thought of going back to one of my obsessions from a long time ago, Bejeweled, and was surprised when I didn’t find it on my iPad. So I downloaded this game called Bejeweled Blitz.
That’s when I realized I was playing a Facebook game.
All those annoying requests and invites you get? So and so just sent you a request in Bejweled Blitz!
I panicked. I went to my Facebook page and made sure there was no evidence of my game activity on my profile. I didn’t want to be that person. So I quietly played Bejeweled Blitz on my own, and obsessively, but swore that was as close as I would ever come to Facebook gaming.
Then something happened.
I invited my sister to babysit my son while we went out for a nice wine tasting and dinner. When I got home, I found out that she not only had introduced Evan to Doctor Who (which I’m pretty sure will give him nightmares) but she showed him all about Candy Crush. Another Facebook game.
That’s really when I started the 12 stages of Candy Crush addiction.
1. Denial
I want nothing to do with these Facebook games. I may play games but they’re much more important than these other silly trivial games.
2. Disgust
Really? You have to feed your sheep or water your goats? I may spend a lot of time on Facebook but it’s because I’m networking. Not just wasting my time playing games.
3. Annoyance
Why are all these people sending me game requests? I don’t even play this stupid game!
4. Intrigue
What? My sister plays this game? But she’s so smart. She’s not trendy. She doesn’t fall for these things. And my sister-in-law too? But she’s so artsy cool. She couldn’t possibly be wrapped up in this whole Candy Crush this.
5. Curiosity
Well, if they’re into it, I suppose I could take a look. I mean, it is a free download. And I’m sure I can turn off any Facebook notifications so nobody ever has to know I’m playing.
6. Arrogance
Okay, seriously? This is what people go so crazy over? This game is pretty simplistic. It’s like Bejeweled Blitz without the challenge. Please.
7. Confidence
I’ve just gone through 10 levels in 10 minutes. At this rate, I’ll be finished this game by the end of the week. I mean, this game does end, right?
8. Amazement
Whoa. I had no idea that so many of my Facebook friends played this game. It’s like a secret little cult that I didn’t really know existed. And now I’m one of them.
9. Disbelief
Surely I can get as far as Brittany or Cheryl or Ashley or Stephanie or, or, or… Oh My God. Is that Amy that’s light years ahead of everyone? I’m not sure if I’m in awe at her game playing or in awe at how much free time she must really have.
10. Frustration
Why can’t I get beyond this stupid level? I mean, they’re making it impossible. I could see if it was a matter of strategy but they’re just messing with my head to get me one move away from completely this level and then giving me no matches near the jelly. WHY ARE THEY TAUNTING ME?
11. Obsession
No, I’m cool. I can work this out. It’s a strategy game, Fadra. THINK. Get rid of the jelly lower down first. Yes, that’s it. That will make it work. Or maybe get four in a row. That will help. You can obliterate the rows and then… wait… it’s not working. I’m out of moves. I can’t be out of moves. I KNOW I CAN WIN IT THIS TIME!
12. Deception
Oh. You think you can beat me? Well, I’LL SHOW YOU. Here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m NOT going to “ask my friends for extra lives.” That’s just what you would want me to do. I’m going to change the date on my iPad and then you will automatically give me 5 more lives. And when I go through those 5 lives? I’M GONNA DO IT AGAIN.
***
And that is where we come to our full on addiction of the game know as Candy Crush Saga. There’s no saga. It’s just an endless ploy to get you to spend money on boosters and lives and all sorts of things.
As I sat down last night to show my husband, we worked on the levels together and we made it through! And then, I apparently needed a “ticket” to get to the next level and had to “ask my friends for help.” Or pay 99 cents. He quickly went to click on the button to pay.
NO! I screamed. That’s just what they want you to do. No. We’ll wait. They’ll never expect that.
There is hope though. There is a 13th stage called Indifference, sometimes known as boredom. You’ll get there eventually. It may be a long road. It may cost you a few credits in the iTunes store, but someday you will look back and wonder what it was all for.
It was all for the love of the candy.
21 comments
This cracks me up! I’m totally addicted to Candy Crush. Before this game, I never, ever sent requests for things to my fb friends, thinking it was annoying. And I’d ignore them from others. But I’ll ask people for tickets to get to the next level and I’ll send extra lives and tickets.
I did the change the date thing on mine, too- and then when I changed it back, I noticed that Candy Crush kept track and was telling me that I wouldn’t get my new life for like 2 million minutes. So I deleted the app and then reinstalled. 😉
The trick might be to change the date, open Candy Crush. Then change the date back and then reopen Candy Crush. It’s been working for me so far. Shhhhhh.
bwhahahaha this so could be me. I held out for SO LONG. And same thing – FINALLY opened it up and was like, this is lame. This is Bejeweled. I plan such better games than this. (I do like Minecraft 😉
And then seeing everyone else on there? And then the whole, wait, I HAVE to beat this level. And screw you Candy Crush, I have to WAIT for more lives? Arrrrrrrgh.
Totally sucked in. And annoyed when I pay 99 cents every time to get a new world b/c I refuse to ask for tickets/help/send people messages. Although I do send lives when people’s names come up…
Ah yes. The old “Screw you, Candy Crush” phase. I think that one continues for the whole game. I’ve been asking people ONLY when I know they also play because I know they’ll get it.
Ha! I hit the final stage, deletion (or something). I never connected with friends since I wanted to keep my shame secret. 😉
I ended up deleting the app, and while sometimes I miss it I no longer have dreams with that annoying music playing.
Now, you know. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. We’re all here to support you! We’ve all been there. Kelly…. COME BACK!!!
That’s me…over there on Level 30…enough said.
I might get a secret thrill every time I pass someone. *Might*
I got up to level 65 and finally gave in to the “i give up and don’t want to waste any more of my time or get these notifications on my phone!” stage. I went from playing 5+ times a day to none. And I am so much happier. (Also? I wondered how Amy got that far as well!)
Now to find another game…. 😉
This cracked me up. I am not a gamer. I download games on my phone so my kids will be quiet.
I think y’all need to go to gamers anonymous. lol “Hi, my name is ____ and I’m a gamaholic! lol
My thoughts and sympathy go out to you! lol :o)
YES. Omg I agree. Also I think we need to be fb friends so we can send each other candy crush lives. I had never thought of the date thing… I will look into that!
I hate this game and yet I can’t stop playing it. I have been stuck at the same level for over a month now and every day I say that’s it, I’m deleting it. And guess what? Still haven’t done it. And I’m still stuck and extra moves hasn’t helped….
I’m stuck on level 97, I really don’t see how they want me to score 100,000 points in 25 moves with those little bombs ticking away… This post was hilarious! Mainly, because it’s all true. I’ve told the game on more than one occasion that we are getting a divorce but I haven’t deleted it yet. Tricks on lives: if you use up your lives on the Facebook browser version you still have lives on the phone. Also when you get lives sent to you on your phone don’t accept them until you need them. If I’ve been sent 3 lives, I end up playing 8 lives because I go accept my free lives after I’ve used up my original 5. I refuse to pay for anything relating to a game.
Don’t worry, you can make it past level 97. I’m in the 100s. Level 97 took FOREVER to pass, though. I really got to hate those bombs very quickly.
I did pass level 97 and am now stuck on level 147. I just deleted the game from my phone, I think I’ve gotten to the “I hate you, you stupid game!” stage where the frustration is making it so that this game is no longer any fun for me. It’s still on my Facebook so I can send friends tickets, lives, extra moves, etc
[…] like to take me time. I play Candy Crush, I have my own zen room, and I get to to what I love for a living. Not a bad life all in all. And […]
Oh, so, hey Fadra. I was all “oh, what? Candy Crush? Nah, I don’t need to get all up in that.”
And then my husband got a smartphone. And then he started playing. And he’s so addicted that I decided to see what all the fuss is about.
And now I can’t stop.
(I will say, however, that our Household Principle is to not pay anything for this game)
(and I haven’t connected to Facebook yet, though that’s more out of not caring – yet – and less about principle)
I created 3 new Facebook accounts so I could give myself the 3 tickets I need to pass each episode ASAP.
I was wondering as I was reading if you had gotten to the level where you just have one or two more left, so just pay the $.99, then you still don’t win and you’ve already paid $.99 and that would be wasted if you didn’t keep playing, so then another $.99 — I’ve recently thought I just need to delete this from my ipad.