Ever sit around thinking about the patron saint of something? Probably not. But here’s how my brain works and how I use the internet to satisfy it.
Something popped into my head at the oddest time, as it usually does, last week. It was another morning where I had woken up to take my son to his sitter’s for the day and I realized…
I forgot to take a shower.
I used to work full time and a shower or a bath was a daily occurrence. Every morning, I’d get up and get myself clean. Sounds like a no-brainer, right?
And then we have a baby and the days and night become a blur and daily hygiene becomes more of a suggestion, rather than a requirement. You’re lucky if you know if you’re coming or going.
So what happened to me? My son is 4 years old. I shouldn’t be having trouble staying clean.
The problem is that I’ve created this habit of putting a bath or a shower last on my list. I have another post to write or errand to run. I can use barrettes or a ponytail, slap on a little make-up and be on my way. I still look presentable.
But sometimes I take it a little too far. I wait a little too long. And it was one morning that I woke up and looked in the mirror and declared myself Our Lady of Greasiness. And I tweeted that.
Since that time, I’ve learned a couple of things.
First of all, I could never fake being Catholic because I don’t seem to understand the basics of Catholicism.
Apparently, the term “Our Lady” is reserved for the Blessed Virgin Mary, who I’m pretty sure never had greasy hair.
I could, however, become beatified like Pope John Paul II recently was. Incidentally, I learned that the term is bee-at-i-fy and not beat-a-fy. FYI – it means that it can be shown that you are responsible for a posthumous miracle.
Or I could become the patron saint of something. I mean, I’d have to beatified first and all that but if I made it past that process, I could potentially become a saint. Or a patron saint. That means I’m a designated saint of something.
Sound like an antiquated cause? Not really. The pope is actually considering several candidates as the patron saint of internet users and computer programmers.
I’m not kidding.
So I got to thinking, is the patron saint of greasiness really what I would want to be known for? I’m sure lots of people would pray to me. Especially those new moms who never get a chance to take a shower. And there really are patron saints for just about everything.
And because I thought you wouldn’t believe me, I’ve compiled just a quick list of some of the most unbelievable patron saints out there…
There are patron saints of family matters like:
- children whose parents were not married
- children late learning to walk
- bachelors (they actually do need a lot of help)
- dangerous animals
- death by mine collapse
- dog fanciers
- foot problems
- fear of wasps
- glove makers
- Girl Scouts
- hairstylists (this is different than hairdressers?)
- happy death (when exactly are we supposed to pray to this saint?)
- insect bites
- lost keys
- against oversleeping (I think my husband should pray to this one)
- political office holders
- roller skating
- to have male children
- writers for television (I think my prayers were answered when they cancelled “Family Matters”)
- young people in general
So with all the patron saints out there, I thought that maybe I could aspire to be something more than someone to pray to for your greasy hair.
Perhaps, the patron saint of blogging…??
What do you think YOU could be the patron saint of?