You think you came here for a rant about Facebook, right? No. We usually rant about Facebook on Facebook. You know. Where it will do some good.
I’m not going to rant about Facebook because it’s a given that it’s a waste of time. We all know that and accept that and embrace that. But on your iPhone, the mobile version of Facebook can only hold your attention for so long. So you bounce around for a while. Twitter – any mentions? Anyone tweet funny pictures? No? Off to check email. First, the personal email, then the blog email, then the work email, then the other blog email.
Sometimes, if I’m feeling daring, I’ll spend time on Instagram looking for the best dog and cat pictures. And late at night, I’ve been known to go down the Pinterest rabbit hole on my phone. But ONLY to look for funny pictures.
I know. I have a problem. Sometimes, I close Facebook to check something else and I forget what it was and I instinctively open Facebook again. I almost slap myself for doing it because I was just there.
That when I know I need some mindless entertainment. I need to step away from the people and the interactions and really waste some time.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. WHY would anyone WANT to waste time? I prefer to think of it as occupying my time.
Waiting for an oil change? Waiting for a prescription to be filled? Waiting for the doctor’s appointment? Waiting in the doctor’s office in nothing more than a paper gown? These are all good times to get a little preoccupied. So here goes. My favorite apps to WASTE ALL THE TIME.
1. Candy Crush
I don’t want to think about how many hours I’ve wasted on this game. No, really. I don’t want to think about it or know. I’ve made it to Level 425 on this game and I’m pretty sure I could have completed a dissertation by now with all the hours lost. Still, I made it to Level 425 (and still have yet to spend a dime on this game!)
2. Bejeweled Blitz
I was initially obsessed with this game because I played Bejeweled obsessively on my computer for years. It’s a quick game so it makes me tense sometimes. But you get to spin the wheel and match gems and win coins. So it feels a little like gambling but without the risk of losing your kid’s college fund (if you’ve started one, that it; we’re still hoping for a basketball scholarship).
And all your Facebook friends play it too so you can feel superior when you outrank them.
Were you obsessed in the 80s and 90s with Trivial Pursuit? Did you get more excited electronic trivia games than happy hour at local bars? Then I’ve got the game for you! Randomly match up with people from all over the globe (where you’re sure to have the pop culture advantage) and show your superior knowledge on tons of topics. You can see below where my expertise lies.
4. Word Warp
Why mess with a good thing? This was one of my very first iPhone games and it hasn’t really changed. If you’re a word nerd and you’re tired of waiting for your friends to take their turn on Words with Friends, you can waste your time by rearranging letters and creating as many words as possible.
(See how I got the 6 letter words? That means I move to the next round. Like a boss.)
5. 7 Words
As the name might suggest, this game is about 7 words. The game gives you 7 clues and then a bunch of letter chunks. You have to figure out what the words are. Sometimes, you can simply use the massive dictionary and thesaurus you call a brain. Sometimes you’ll have to use the process of elimination to guess that tennis player Lleyton has either a first or last name of Hewitt.
Thus concludes my list. I actually have lots more ways to waste time on my iPhone but five should be enough to get you started on the right path. And please, for the love of God, will you share your best timewaster app? I need to add more to my collection.