Airplane etiquette seems to have completely gone out the window and I know I’m not alone in thinking this. You know what a hassle it is to travel these days, I’m sure. I like to think I’m a pretty seasoned traveler but it still takes a lot out of me.
I hover over my keyboard exactly 24 hours before my flight to ensure I’m in the best boarding group because every flight is a FULL flight these days. I promptly remove my shoes, coat, purse, and laptop (in its own separate bin) and ease my way through security. I bring my own snacks on board because I know that peanuts and pretzels just aren’t going to cut it on a cross-country flight.
I’ve learned how to work the system and make the most out of travel day but even the most pleasant-minded of us gets a little irked once we sit down on that airplane. There are actually plenty of articles about offensive travel behaviors and the worst violations of airplane etiquette.
And whether you’re a leisure traveler who travels every 7.2 years or a road warrior who feels anyone other than you on an airplane is an inferior traveler, I bet you can still learn a few things from this list of airplane etiquette that my husband and I came up with while we were sitting on an airplane.
My Rules of Airplane Etiquette
Here are the 25 common sense rules of airplane etiquette that we came up with. I promise all of these are based on real-life experiences.
1. Don’t bring more than you can carry.
I once saw a woman trying to make it through the security line with drinks, snacks, a stroller, a carseat, a diaper bag, a backpack, and carryon luggage. It was not pretty (and yes, I helped her). But seriously. Think about your organization before you head to the airport.
2. Shopping bags are not an acceptable substitute for luggage.
I know that when you pack up the car and drive to Myrtle Beach for the week, you’ll fill every nook and cranny of your minivan. Because, why not? But when you’re traveling on an airplane, it just doesn’t work. Duffle bags, tote bags, backpacks are all acceptable. Shopping bags are not (unless you’ve just come from the duty-free shop. Then it’s totally cool.)
3. Use the overhead bin over YOUR head.
We all know the jerks that shove their carry-on bags into the first overhead space they see and then casually stroll to the middle of the plane for the emergency exit row seating. Life would be so much easier if they had allotted space. You’re sitting in 16D? You get thismuchspace allotted to 16D. Anything else goes under your seat or gets gate checked. Period.
4. If it doesn’t fit, you must check it.
There’s this concept of mass and volume and I’m pretty sure that pushing and shoving something isn’t going to change the laws of physics. And sitting down hoping the flight attendant can cram it in doesn’t work either. And it slows down the entire boarding process.
5. Don’t take the bulkhead seating if you have more than one bag.
Sorry but I feel strongly about this one. Oh, sure, you want the extra leg room but at whose expense? Don’t shove your extra bags in the overhead bins and make me cram everything under my seat.
6. Don’t sit in a window seat if you don’t want to look out the window.
I know sometimes we don’t have a choice where we sit. But generally, people sitting near windows like to look out windows. Not look at a window shade with your sleeping head on it.
7. Don’t touch my window shade.
I almost bit a woman’s hand once because she not only closed her window shade but reached forward into my row and closed my window shade. I hastily said, I want my window shade open and then proceeded to open it 3/4 of the way. Do NOT mess with my view.
8. Keep your child from kicking my seat.
If you don’t keep your child from kicking my seat, just know that I will turn around and look through the crack in the seats where you, as the parent, can’t see me but your child can. I will then give your child the death stare. So if you don’t want that to happen and see your child burst into what appears to be spontaneous crying, just have them stop kicking.
9. Don’t look at anything on the plane that you wouldn’t feel comfortable with someone reading over your shoulder.
Not only am I nosy but my eyes wander. If you’re playing a game on your iPhone, I’m going to see what game it is. If you’re working on a PowerPoint on your laptop, I’m going to be reading your trade secrets. If you’re reviewing the latest P&L statement from your company, I’ll have my eyes on that too. Fair warning.
10. Don’t look at porn.
Yes, this actually needs to be said.
11. Headphones, people.
I love to play Candy Crush. I just don’t like to listen to YOU play Candy Crush. For five hours.
12. Don’t speak until spoken to.
I’ve said it before. I’m an introvert. After the stress and strain of getting to the airport and getting through security, I need quiet time. If you strike up a little conversation, please read my nonverbal cues that are saying I don’t want to talk to you. It’s nothing personal. Usually.
13. Keep your footwear on.
Yes, I know that feet swell in the air. But use your judgment. If you have stinky feet on the ground, they’re going to be stinky in the air. And even worse, that air gets recirculated so it’s like intensified stinky feet.
14. Brush your teeth and/or use breath mints.
Or, at the very least, keep your mouth closed. These are tight quarters.
15. Bathe, but not in perfume or cologne.
If our arrival city can smell you before the plane touches the ground, you’re wearing too much.
16. No farting.
Just do your best.
17. If at all possible, don’t do your bowel movement in the airplane bathroom.
Again, I know we can’t always control these things but there are usually two tiny bathrooms for 200 people. Someone is going to have to go in there after you and it’s not going to be pretty.
18. Don’t pee on the toilet.
I don’t even know if this is a gender-specific request. I just that I frequently have to clean the toilet seat before I sit down. Gross.
19. Clean your damn tray.
I really don’t like the “surprise” in my tray when I lower it and get a lap full of crumbs. Just brush it into your drink cup before you hand your trash to the flight attendant.
20. Don’t leave a full bag of vomit in the seatback pocket.
True story: this happened to my husband. I can’t even.
21. Stay seated when they’re serving drinks and snacks.
You know that awkward dance, right? The one where one guy tries to squeeze past a middle-aged flight attendant in a space allocated for a teen girl. I say, hold it or wait until they’re past your row.
22. Stay seated when the fasten seatbelt sign is on.
It’s like the ONLY RULE in the air! Seriously. Not only can you easily bounce all over the place but you could bounce into someone else. If it’s an emergency, tell a flight attendant. They’ll do their best to accommodate you (this happened to me and a certain little boy who suddenly HAD to go to the bathroom as we were decending).
23. Don’t drink and fly.
Actually, I enjoy a good drink on a flight every now and then. It helps calm my nerves. I should actually say don’t drink to excess and fly. I’m talking to you, man who had six Bloody Marys on a morning flight.
24. Use your indoor voice.
Yes, we know you’re “networking” with the random guy sitting next to you thinking this is going to land you your next big deal but we don’t ALL need to hear your latest and greatest accomplishments. This might, however, have something to do with number 23.
And finally…
25. No tuna sandwiches on board.
This one is self-explanatory.
Have I missed anything when it comes to airplane etiquette? Clearly, I have some odor sensitivities but most of it is common sense, right? Now if can just get every single traveler out there to read this…
20 comments
I’ve said it before. I’m an introvert. After the stress and strain of getting to the airport and getting through security, I need quiet time. If you strike up a little conversation, please read my nonverbal cues that are saying I don’t want to talk to you. It’s nothing personal. Usually.
This is awesome! And I bet you guys had fun making the list.
I literally had to tell Sean to stop. I figured 25 was enough but OH how I could go on. Normally I’m more tolerant. I guess travel makes me cranky.
Travel makes EVERYONE cranky.
Totally agree!! Especially with don’t speak until spoken too. I DO NOT WANT to talk to strangers on a plane, a train, anywhere. Ever. This is why I wear headphones all the time. Unless I’m traveling with family or friends. Then I guess I should be social. 😉
I’m fine with a little bit of teeny chit chat in the beginning but when I pull out a book/device/laptop, I’m sending you a VERY clear signal.
Cracking up! Especially at #10 and #16. Great list!
I think I’m getting crankier as I get older!
#8 all the way! Although I am worried that because of my history of “death stares” and audible sighs when parents board the plane with many kids in tow that my “traveling with kids” karma is not good. Wish me luck as I fly next month with my 9 month old twins. I expect to be on the receiving end of death stares and loud sighs.
Ah yes, but the death stares are because parents aren’t doing their job. Having babies is a different story. And remember #1 (the woman who traveled with the kitchen sink), you’ll always find another mother to take pity on you 🙂
As a parent who travels 2x a year or more with our 6 and 3 year old I don’t agree that I’m not doing my job if my toddler kicks a chair. They travel in car seats until 3 or 4 and I try very hard to keep them from kicking….until the person in front of us glares at said child and then I stop with my efforts (being honest as it happened and I know said grumpy older woman could hear me working with my child). That traveler can speak to me and I keep trying and I almost always address the more flight and make sure they know I will do my best. We try to sit 2 and 2 so the toddler kicks her brother but airlines don’t always find seats that way b
I’ve been flying a lot this spring so, unfortunately, I can relate to most of the items on your list. I, too, have odor sensitivities (combined with a gag reflex, it’s really not pretty). I wish ALL fliers would be REQUIRED to read this list! LOL
OH YES! I love this. I was once on a flight where we had an extremely LOUD talker. She was talking to her seatmate but we could literally hear every word she said 4-5 rows away! Someone said something the stewardess and a whole bunch of us chimed in and agreed that something needed to be said. She very politely told the woman to pipe down. There may have been applause.
All of this is why I choose to drive and never fly. Well, that and I’m a sissy who’s afraid of heights. Okay, fine and also because I’m too broke to go anywhere farther than a 2 or 3 hour drive from home.
Double yes for 8 and 12. We had an exception to 22 once too, the first time we took TJ to Disney. He threw up all over the place after the plane started its descent into Orlando. (It was his first flight and he was very excited.) The flight attendant helped as much as she could and apologized when even she needed to be seated for landing.
Thanks for the Myrtle Beach mention! I died laughing at 13-16, because they’re true…
ohhhh I am sooooooooooooo sharing this with my friends who will be going to BlogPaws next week!
Yes! Yesss!!! & YES!!!!
#16 happen to me once, i had just sat down, the plane hadn’t even taking off, it was horrible, i wanted to say out loud who in the hell just farted on this plane, really!!!!
One that drives me crazy is during the de-boarding process when people from behind rush the aisle to try to get ahead of everyone in front of them. I usually take an aisle seat and as soon as the seat-belt light goes off, I stand in the middle of the aisle to block all forward progress from behind. And yes, I do kind of feel bad for people who are trying to catch a tight connection (been there) but, don’t schedule tight connections. Your poor decisions shouldn’t be my burden. And no one cooperates when the attendants ask people to stay seated if you don’t have a connecting flight. Human nature in full display every time. Wow! I swear I’m not a jerk – except when it comes to travel. That is a suggestion for a future article – why does travel bring out the worst in everyone?