Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Rowing out to meet the ship

Guess who’s back for 5 minutes on a Sunday? But I’m no longer the host. I’m just a happy participant with Jana from Jana’s Thinking Place. And today’s writing prompt? Anticipation.

 

A few weeks ago, someone on Facebook asked if there was a theme song for your life. Or it was something along those lines. I thought for a minute and then wrote the first thing that popped into my mind.

“Waiting for my Real Life to Begin” by Colin Hay (the guy with the weird eye from Men At Work).

It’s a beautiful song. Any minute now, my ship is coming in. I keep checking the horizon.

These days I don’t have anticipation for much. Excitement, maybe. I’m excited for Evan to start kindergarten. I’m excited to head to BlogHer next week. I’m excited about the cooler weather for the fall. But anticipation indicates more of an anxiety-ridden waiting period.

And if I have to truly think about what I’m anticipating? It’s wondering how the rest of my life is going to turn out. Some days I love the state I’m in. (Mentally, not physically). I love what I’m doing professionally but I’m not where I need to be. Not where I need to be to completely satisfy my husband and I’m not where I need to be to feel personal and professional success on my own terms.

I’m waiting for my ship to come in but I’m also in a little rowboat working hard to meet it somewhere out in the water.

 

  • Stephanie Bernaba

    I could tell you I agree and feel the same way, but you probably already know that. Very thoughtful. I wish I had the wherewithal for reflection right now, but this house has sucked me completely dry.

    • FadraN

      That’s why I took 5 minutes to reflect. Then I can forget about it all and go back to my regularly scheduled program. Still going to BlogHer though, right?

  • http://wordhugs.net/ Sandra

    I can relate to what you’ve written here, Fadra. I know I’m not where I want to be physically or mentally. I strive for so much more, but I do have to admit to myself that I’ve been successful in overcoming my fair share of obstacles. I’ve made significant progress, and I anticipate much more in the years to come. Good to hear from the originator of SOC Sundays! Have a great day and week. Enjoy your time at BlogHer! 

    • FadraN

      Well, you’re far ahead of the rest of us. At least you see them as obstacles. Most see them as roadblocks!

  • http://www.theadventuresofthefamilypants.com/ Mama Pants

    I relate to this so much. Thank you for putting it so beautifully into words for me. I try so hard to temper my anticipation. It keeps me from living when I get wrapped up in looking ahead. For me this was a great reminder of that goal.

    • FadraN

      Ah, yes. I should have also written the lyrics of another of my favorite songs: “The secret o’ life is enjoying the passage of time.”

  • KallayCarr

    I feel like you should be proud that you’re at least making an effort. I am currently in the position of not feeling like I am where I should be, either, but I’m paralyzed. I see people like you rowing their boats and I wish I could figure out where my other oar is to get going. You’re doing a great job, Fadra, but I totally get that feeling of working hard and still feeling like there’s so much more mountain to climb. You can do it though. 

    • FadraN

      You can still row with one oar. Just takes a little more effort and time :)

  • Trudi

    That’s one of the first songs my guy shared with me, as it’s his theme song, too. We’re still working on making it happen, but at least we have a good idea of where to look for that ship! :)

    • FadraN

      Oh, I love that!! Just keep checking the horizon (and make sure you’re looking in the right direction).

  • http://janasthinkingplace.com/ jana

    I so understand all this. Especially the anxiety part. So glad you joined in today!!

    • FadraN

      Me too :)

  • a.eye

    I, too, am so excited for the cooler weather of fall.

    Have fun at Blogher and good luck getting to where you need to be for yourself and your family.

    • FadraN

      Fall is my very favorite time of year. I’m excited to see how my writing will change as a reflection of it!

  • Gina

    Fadra,
    I’ve missed reading your SOCS! I love the last line. We can all relate to the little row boat working hard to meet the ship. Sometimes I have to remind myself to be patient, something I have very little of to start.

    • FadraN

      We all have to remind ourselves to be patient. We’ve created a no-wait society. We can get everything on demand and at our fingertips! We need to remember that good things are worth fighting for and waiting for.

  • http://www.jamiemiles.com/blog Jamie@southmainmuse

    Have a wonderful time at BlogHer. You are right. Sometimes I don’t feel much difference between anticipation and anxiety. Is there any difference?

    • FadraN

      When I think of anticipation, I think of something that is really out of my control. I guess the anxiety comes in if you are the kind of person that has trouble handling that (like me!)

  • http://twitter.com/freul April Trillana

    I guess it comes in waves: anticipation then excitement then anticipation again… :) Being in a place where anxiety’s not in the scene very much is always a good spot to be in. Enjoy BlogHer!

  • http://2dayswoman.com/ Raquel

    Like the other women, I can so relate to what you are saying. It’s like you jumped into my consciousness for 5 minutes..
    Enjoy BlogHer next week, who knows – you might find your ship there??.