While my thoughts today were inspired by the unseasonably frigid temperatures, I’m actually in a much warmer climate on vacation. It’s made me realize how easy it is to forget your every day reality when you escape from it. And for me, especially right now, this escape is exactly what I needed.
Here’s my 5 minute brain dump…
Worry. I worry, worry, worry. I know it’s part of my nature and I’ve been told before that I’m a bit of a empath. I don’t just listen and sympathize with what other people are going through. I feel it too.
On one hand, it makes me a very compassionate person but on the other hand, I often feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I’ve pretty much altogether stopped reading the news because I couldn’t read it without feeling a terrible pit in my stomach, whether it was something global or local.
For example, I read today on Facebook a story about a little autistic boy whose mother invited his entire class to his birthday party. He woke on the day of his party so desperately happy to see his friends and not a single one of them showed. No RSVPs, no calls, not even excuses. Not only was the little boy crushed but so was his mother. And it was crushing for me to read the story. It had a happy ending but the ending didn’t make up for the feelings it stirred in me.
And there was another story that never really made the news here in the U.S. about a little boy named Elijah. At 3 years old, he awoke in the middle of the night and wondered away from his home in -17 degree weather. And when they found him the next day, he was no longer alive.
Every time I go outside with the extreme temperatures and wind whipping, I almost punish myself by thinking about Elijah and what he went through. When the weather is this bad, I worry about the wild animals being able to cope with the cold. I worry, worry, worry. I try to convince myself it’s needless. It’s futile. It’s all part of nature. They’ll take care of themselves. Until I found two frozen birds along my sidewalk.
Now when the wind whips, I feel it deep in my soul and I struggle to find a way to warm it.
This was nice Fadra! Thanks!! I’ll have to do it every week. 🙂
The cold can be harsh & cruel, but then there are the times when a miracle happens – like a dog protects a newborn baby and the baby lives. Those miracles give you hope & comfort that all is not horrible & unforgiving in the world when tragedies happen.
ahh, sweet friend, the heart stuff, too hard to imagine, to difficult to process …
Both of those stories … ugh, my mom and I were talking about them yesterday. Heartbreaking.
You know a couple of years ago, Chelsea brought in some frozen anoles (like small iguanas) I said they were dead, but she put them in the powder room anyway. Several hours later, they were in the chandelier, I kid you not …
So glad Nicole posted about this on Facebook. Fun exercise, and GAH so hard to just hit publish without nitpicking. I love your cold weather story, Fadra. I worry like a mofo, about anything and everything. Including how the squirrels keep warm. Thank you 🙂
Fadra, there was a teen following on Instagram, someone who’s mom used to come into the library. He is autistic and seems to be living the life. He was happy, was a teen being a teen and just seemed to love life. For some reason I got really depressed thinking about him and was a mess for a few days. Then I met in person and he was a doll and I didn’t know why I was worried. I think I thought people were going to do him wrong when here *I* was the one doing him wrong, feeling sorry for him (for what reason, I cannot tell you!).
Now when I see him online, I feel happy that I had a chance to meet him.
One of things that I do not miss from the east is that nasty cold. Such hard stories to hear. Hold tight to the little ones and pray for the others around you 🙂
I worry so much sometimes that I think I do it enough for my whole family so that they don’t have to worry.