While my thoughts today were inspired by the unseasonably frigid temperatures, I’m actually in a much warmer climate on vacation. It’s made me realize how easy it is to forget your every day reality when you escape from it. And for me, especially right now, this escape is exactly what I needed.
Here’s my 5 minute brain dump…
Worry. I worry, worry, worry. I know it’s part of my nature and I’ve been told before that I’m a bit of a empath. I don’t just listen and sympathize with what other people are going through. I feel it too.
On one hand, it makes me a very compassionate person but on the other hand, I often feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I’ve pretty much altogether stopped reading the news because I couldn’t read it without feeling a terrible pit in my stomach, whether it was something global or local.
For example, I read today on Facebook a story about a little autistic boy whose mother invited his entire class to his birthday party. He woke on the day of his party so desperately happy to see his friends and not a single one of them showed. No RSVPs, no calls, not even excuses. Not only was the little boy crushed but so was his mother. And it was crushing for me to read the story. It had a happy ending but the ending didn’t make up for the feelings it stirred in me.
And there was another story that never really made the news here in the U.S. about a little boy named Elijah. At 3 years old, he awoke in the middle of the night and wondered away from his home in -17 degree weather. And when they found him the next day, he was no longer alive.
Every time I go outside with the extreme temperatures and wind whipping, I almost punish myself by thinking about Elijah and what he went through. When the weather is this bad, I worry about the wild animals being able to cope with the cold. I worry, worry, worry. I try to convince myself it’s needless. It’s futile. It’s all part of nature. They’ll take care of themselves. Until I found two frozen birds along my sidewalk.
Now when the wind whips, I feel it deep in my soul and I struggle to find a way to warm it.