A busier than usual Saturday for me: a drive to Washington, DC to see a private screening of Cinderella (Evan and I loved it!) followed by a drive to downtown Baltimore to greet the new cast of the Listen To Your Mother show (May 9th!). And in between, a little shopping for a gala next week and home to bake what is smelling like an amazing cake for our St. Patrick’s Day dinner tomorrow. But none of that popped into my head for my brain dump. Instead, I thought back to my drive in to work earlier this week.
Here’s my 5 minute brain dump…
Anyone who’s ever known me should know (and if they don’t, I’m telling them now), do NOT tell me a secret. I jut can’t keep a secret. As soon as a secret enters my ears, I start thinking of all the provisions I can put on telling someone else. Like this,
I’ll tell THIS person because she’s removed from the situation and doesn’t know anyone involved.
I’ll tell my husband because he’s my HUSBAND.
I’ll tell my sister but I’ll make her swear NOT to tell our mother (which she’ll do anyway).
People think it’s because I like to gossip. Maybe I do a bit but I think it’s because I like talking about people. I know it sounds like the same thing but really I’m more interested in cause and effect, action, and consequence, and human behavior in general. It’s interesting to talk about, don’t you think? Why did he do that? Why did she say that? What must they be thinking? It’s a lot of speculation for sure.
But I’ve only recently discovered a power greater than sharing secrets. It’s keeping it to yourself. It’s not a secret, really. It’s a good deed I did this week. It didn’t involve any actual people so nobody knows but me. Not my husband, not my son, not my sister. It’s not a big secret at all and there’s no reason to keep it secret. Honestly, I just kept forgetting to tell someone but then I kind of liked holding this little tiny bit of knowledge all to myself. It felt more special and it felt all mine.
Being a mother and a wife often makes you forget that there’s a YOU under all of that. A you that can read books and listen to music and watch a movie without anyone else’s knowledge or permission. And sometimes, just the tiniest of secrets can make you feel mightier than if you ever open your mouth.