Honestly, when I’m not writing a sponsored post or awesome product review, I immediately go inside my head. And it’s not always pleasant in there. Usually that’s what comes out on a Sunday morning. It’s not a banal story from the week. It’s like my Sunday morning therapy. So here you go and I’m sorry (or you’re welcome).
Here’s my 5 minute brain dump…
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I am not by any means suggesting I am a selfless person. Although sometimes I am. I guess you have to be once you decide to become a mom. But it’s important to be a little selfish too.
Sometimes I think I suffer a wee bit from martyrdom. I want to do what I want to do but not at the expense of someone else, especially my family. I ask permission way to much.
I have to run to the grocery store. Is that okay? Will you be alright? Do you need anything?
Yes, there’s the point of being considerate which is what I always thought I was being. But sometimes considerate is annoying and I realize most people aren’t that way. It might be more like,
Hey, I really need to get out of the house. I’m going for a hike and should be back in about 2 hours.
The end. End of discussion. My son is 8. My husband is much older than 8. They can take care of themselves and they can live without me and when I come back from that time I’ve “demanded” for myself, they’re going to get a better me.
Something I’m learning lately is that I’m motivated by guilt. I’ll do something or not do something because I feel bad or guilty. I don’t want to leave the dogs alone all day. HELLO – they’re DOGS! Someone wants me to play croquet and I really don’t want to. It’s hot, I’m relaxing and I’m comfortable. I don’t want to do it. Sorry, Mom, I was being properly selfish!
I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has this problem. And I never really realized it was a problem until recently. And now I’m working on it but still treading that fine line between being selfish and self-centered.
If you’re going to be in NYC this week, I hope to see you there and we can be a wee bit selfish together.
3 comments
I completely get this! And yes, I also get the Bangles connection. I had way too much fun writing today’s post. Silly, true and dappled with errors of the best kind. Thanks for continuing to do this, Fadra. More people need to open their minds to the wonder of stream of consciousness, letting go of word-control and just dangling thoughts and participles wherever they will!!!
I get this. I feel guilty if I take time for myself, but I encourage my husband to do something one or two nights a week outside the house (with friends.) The family is going to be better off if we take time for ourselves!
Yes! Bring on the “ME TIME”!!