Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Saturday Night Special

4.4K

I’ve really gotten better at establishing some sort of routine in my life when it comes to blogging. I map out the posts I plan to do for the week, mentally at least. And after a few Sunday mornings of waking up and realizing I don’t have my Stream of Consciousness post up, wondering if anybody cares, and realizing that, yes, people do actually care, I’ve added a little more routine.

I actually do my post on Saturday night and schedule it to publish sometime after midnight. I leave the linky open all day Sunday until late Monday night. However, I’ve realized that my tone is different. A Saturday night post is very different than a Sunday morning post. There’s a different feel and atmosphere. Not better or worse. Just different.

Here’s a sobering 5 minutes.

***

Know what I learned tonight? That’s it’s not always easy writing what’s on your mind when what’s on your mind isn’t something you want to write about on your blog. Sometimes it’s too personal or too sensitive. Sometimes it’s too introspective or dull or meaningless … to someone else.

I’m having one of those nights. What has been on my mind lately is news of a woman. She’s a woman I met but someone I didn’t know. I would recognize her in a crowded room but she’s have no clue who I was.

I’m thinking about her because she’s quite successful. She’s from somewhere else. South Africa or Australia. I can’t remember. She has an accent though. And she’s tall. And she’s always tan. And she works in an industry where her name and face are very important. She’s so well know that she typically just uses her first name. And she’s successful. Did I mention that?

And it all comes down to this. She found out she has cancer. And not in the oh you’re a fighter and you’re going to be okay kind of way. This is cancer in the you have tumors all up and down your spine kind of way. And she apparently has 4 weeks to live.

What were you doing 4 weeks ago? Were you complaining about cleaning up after Christmas? Were you thinking about how you were going to pay for all your holiday bills? Were you wondering what you were going to do for New Year’s Eve? What were you doing? What were you thinking about? Because if that was you and this was now, none of it would have mattered.

Only 4 weeks to feel your body and smell the air and hug your children. Just one month. I almost can’t bear to think about it because it puts me in her shoes, mentally and emotionally. Everyone says to be thankful for what you have. Don’t take it for granted. I hope I never do.